Wibble Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Hi folks, I had to chip in on this thread as it is close to my heart. I have just celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary, and it is now nearly 3 years since I found out my wife was having a MASSIVE affair. I also discovered that they had had a relationship 13 years previously. I managed to end the affair, and we have kind of put our marriage back together BUT she has never "come clean" about what has REALLY been going on in our marriage. No counselling, no "honesty" sessions, nothing. I just KNOW that she has only done what was right for her in not facing up to the truth of what she has done, and she feels that every day that passes gets her further away from the consequences of her behaviour. What she doesn't seem, or want, to know is that there is a festering resentment in me about both the double betrayal I have suffered and her failure to address MY needs in the aftermath. I wake every day questioning the very fundamental foundations of my marriage. The only way I can cope is by not caring about it - not a very positive state of mind to have about your supposed lifetime partner! I would never have guessed that after 3 YEARS I would still feel this strongly about it. As to why I have stayed in the relationship, well it is a sad fact of life in the modern world that if a father wishes to see his children grow up, then he must somehow accomodate the behaviour of his wife, no matter how much it hurts.
Darth Vader Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Buddy, get to IC to address your issues, I seem to sense that you have some major self esteem issues. If you were to do this, then perhaps you could drop this chic, and move on with someone better. Your wife is very selfish for the sounds of it, she will never "come clean" or be "honest". Because you've never shown her the door, you've never "stood" up to her, therefore she continues to walk all over you and disrepect you! Even if you did stand up to her she still may do nothing, but at least you would have your self respect back. Go to IC, and get the help you need! Then drop this Bitch like a bad habit!
jon01 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Buddy, get to IC to address your issues, I seem to sense that you have some major self esteem issues. If you were to do this, then perhaps you could drop this chic, and move on with someone better. Your wife is very selfish for the sounds of it, she will never "come clean" or be "honest". Because you've never shown her the door, you've never "stood" up to her, therefore she continues to walk all over you and disrepect you! Even if you did stand up to her she still may do nothing, but at least you would have your self respect back. Go to IC, and get the help you need! Then drop this Bitch like a bad habit! LOL! You win the MTV Award for worst and most insensitive advice. Bravo!
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 As to why I have stayed in the relationship, well it is a sad fact of life in the modern world that if a father wishes to see his children grow up, then he must somehow accomodate the behaviour of his wife, no matter how much it hurts. That is not a good enough reason. If someone did this to your child... what advice would you give? Children are more injured by living in a terrible home environment, than by surviving a divorce. To me... it just sounds like your afraid.
Darth Vader Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 LOL! You win the MTV Award for worst and most insensitive advice. Bravo! Flattery will get you no where! Anyway, this man needs to get away from this woman, if that's what you want to call her!
Mr. Lucky Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 As to why I have stayed in the relationship, well it is a sad fact of life in the modern world that if a father wishes to see his children grow up, then he must somehow accomodate the behaviour of his wife, no matter how much it hurts. You'll get lots of different advice here. Some will come from people like me that will tell you that divorce, while certainly difficult, is not the end of the father/child relationship. And I have to question the alternative if it leaves you in a state where you "wake every day questioning the very fundamental foundations of my marriage". I think the least you need to demand is MC so that your very real concerns can be addressed... Mr. Lucky
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