walkalloverme Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I feel like I've been walked all over and taken advantage off but need some other viewpoints. Recently, my wife, say 5 months ago started obsessing over her ex husband who treated her like dirt, and even tried contacting him. She claims she's always been faithful to whoever shes been in a committed relationship with, yet she now says she's only ever been in love with her ex, because she wouldnt let herself be hurt like that again. The thing is she realized shed better stop talking about her ex, but her obsession has gotten worse, she's lied to me and been deceptive about whats shes been up to. Shes taking advice from any psychic hotline you can think of and more and repeating the babble that they put into her head about finding a new love interest or reuniting with a past one who is her soul mate blah blah... Yet she repeatedly says our relationship is the best she's ever had with anyone I find it hard to believe shes being honest. Would you consider her actions as cheating and/or being unfaithful if shes pretty much stopped communicating with me, constantly thinking about her ex, buying psychic lover reports on the two of them several times a week? When we first got together I bought her a treadmill that she wanted but then barely used it for 10 years... she put on significant weight in that time... now she's on it for over an hour every night for the past 3 months dropping weight with help of other pills and starving herself. Even if they havent met up again, isnt she being unfaithful, ie cheating on me on the emotional side? After some prodding, she just recently claimed she no longer has any need for sex -- yet she continues with this "secret" obsession, and regularly uses her sex toys on herself in private which seems a contradiction one of many. She just now announced that shes been thinking of what she wants to do with her life and this life isnt for her... she wants to just run away and leave all responisiblity behind, including her son and pets (and me of course). Yet, she admits she has no plan, and because shes financially dependent on me sees no reason to leave. Am I supposed to believe that I'm not being cheated on here even if not physically but emotionally? What can I do?
cyabye Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I consider it cheating and it's just a matter of time that it will turn physical (if not already). She already detached herself from you emotionally. Soon the rest will follow. Kick her to the curb. You do not need her mess. Let her go and start NC. You might want to consult a lawyer at this point. Protect yourself. She has issues and she will take you down the drain with her to get what she wants if you let her. There is nothing you can do at this point except to take care of you. Hope this helps, cyabye
bleh Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 i agree with cyabye but then i think you have to consider your child. she seems extremely immature and a little messed up in the head. Maybe suggest counseling... honestly i would kick her to the curb too because to be doing this to your husband is one thing but to even consider just getting up and leaving your child is just not on. However id tread carefully and try and work things out somehow for your childs sake, it will probably break you which sucks but you gotta do whats best for your kid...if she can be in his/her life then great but at the end of the day it looks like having his/her mother out of the picture might be the best. just think things through, hope someone else can give you more direct advice....
cyabye Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I would not stay in a relationship just for the child (did that and it does not work for anyone involved in the relationship). You have to take care of yourself first so you can be healthy and available to the child. Is it yours and her child together or from her ex? If the child is both of yours, you will need to think clearly and detach from her emotionally so you can take care of yourself and the child. Someone has to be the strong one here and it doesn't sound like she is up to the task. Hope this helps, cyabye
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