mindyinlove Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 My ex from more than 8 years ago recently came back into my life and said I've always been the One. I was thrilled because I have also always felt he is the One. We were seeing each other quite a bit for dinner dates even though I told him I was not ready as I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship. This went on for almost 3 months until I decided to let him know that I'm ready to start a relationship. His reaction was that he cares alot about me and is serious this time but wants to take it very slowly as he does not want to mess up this time around. I accepted it as I felt it always wise to take it slowly and we had a real heart to heart talk that night. However, since that conversation, he has been pulling away ie. he does not call or ask me out anymore. Why is he doing this? Is he afraid of being vulnerable ? Why do you think men pull back emotionally? is it because i made him TALK? his hot yet cold attitude is driving me crazy. would appreciate any advice..thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I can't give you an explanation, but I can feel for you. I have an 8 year old ex whom pops up like that, says he wants something with me, then pulls far far away. I've learned just to keep him on the back burner. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFonz Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 This guy is just popping in to see if he can still get you. You need to start from scratch with a different guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mindyinlove Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 I think about that sometimes but somehow I dont think I'm able to because I feel so strongly about him compared to any other guy I've dated. I keep holding on to the nice/sweet things he's said or done ... says he's always loved me, wants to marry me, wants me to be happy, makes forward plans with me in mind, introduced me to his friends etc. I've been so confused, I even started reading "Mars and Venus on a Date" which has been quite reassuring. It explains that men are like rubber bands who have a natural tendency to pull away when they experience emotional intimacy. We just have to wait and hope that they will find in in them to open their heart and bounce back, which apparently most do. The best thing a woman can do is give him space. I'm sorta waiting but have given it dateline of 3 months. If he still does not come back, i REALLY need to move on... Link to post Share on other sites
TheFonz Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I even started reading "Mars and Venus on a Date" which has been quite reassuring. It explains that men are like rubber bands who have a natural tendency to pull away when they experience emotional intimacy. We just have to wait and hope that they will find in in them to open their heart and bounce back, which apparently most do. The best thing a woman can do is give him space. This is true and valid for many men early on in a relationship after the first few times you've had sex, but once a guy decides to enter a relationship, if he leaves it's usually a different matter. Link to post Share on other sites
NewSunrise Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 Some men are wired to chase. Once you give in, chase is over, so is the excitement... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts