tonyeltiger Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I'm really confused about this girl. I posted here earlier about this same girl. So here's my thinking... I met her, got her number, called, got voicemail, left a message saying that I'd like to take her out sometime and to give me a call back. That was on a wednesday. No call back. I brushed it off as I figured she would be too shy to call back. No problem, I realize I need to make the first move. I call her that Friday and say that I would like to take her out to eat. She accepts, and we have a nice meal. No lull in conversation etc. and we both just told each other a lot about ourselves. I drop her off at her place right after dinner, no hug or anything. She just kinda hopped out of the car. I once again just chalk it up to shyness. I also kinda wondered, because I didn't even know if she possibly had a bf or something. But we both told each other we had a nice time. I let a week go by, and called her up again. We got together just to watch a tv show we both watch, not really a date. But I did set up a date with her to see a movie later that week. I take her out and nothing much to tell. We both had homework to get to, as it was a school night (we are seniors in College), so it was a pretty quick date. I did put my arm around her in the theater though. I called her Saturday after that Wednesday movie, and once again she didn't answer. I left a message just saying I was wondering if she wanted to hang out at all that weekend. She texted back 6 hours later, “Sorry to say but I am at home for the weekend”. (her hometown is quite a way from our college). I texted back and said that was fine, and I'll give her a call later. So I give her a call on Monday after class to see if she wanted to grab dinner since we didn't get to meet up that weekend. Once again no answer. I was getting kinda irked that I was never getting through, so didn't leave a message. I thought about it and thought it would be strange that I wouldn't call back after trying, so I tried again about 3 hours later, just to say what I had called for. Once again, no answer. So this time I did leave a message explaining the calls, and to just let me know if she is too busy and doesn't have time for dating (as in dating ME lol). After leaving the message, I told myself that the ball was in her court, and I would NOT call her back until she called me. I have no desire to be a nuissance, and it would be very easy for her to either call and give me the “too busy for dating” excuse, or simply ignore me. Well, needless to say I was a little anxious as to what would happen. 2 days went by and no response. But then Wednesday night she sent me an e-mail ( no idea how she got it, as I never gave it to her lol). Her it is : Hey Tony, Sorry I have not been able to call you back lately. I have night classes that I am at till 8, and I have been very busy with club activites and duties. I planned on giving you a call tonight but after I got out of class I was not feeling well. So I thought I would write you instead. Hope your movie with (roommate's name) went well. And yeah we can do something again together sometime. Have a nice week. -****** So I was satisfied with this, as it would explain why she didn't answer at the times I had called, and obviously says to me that she would like to see me again. Anyways, I wrote back and said that I figured she was simply busy and that I had been rather busy myself. I said that if she wanted to hang out I would be in town that weekend and to give me a call. Once again leaving the ball in her court, as I was still unsure as to what she was thinking about me. I sent her a short text that friday, not about a date, but just saying something that had happened to me that day, and she responded and also ended it saying that we should get together this weekend to play some games together. We texted back and forth to iron out a day/time and we got together. That was this past Saturday (that we met). I came over to her place around 4, we played games and chatted till about 6, and went to a fairly nice restaurant (a little pricey for me, but I know that she loves it). We have a nice dinner again, and we got to talking about our dating lives (I kinda brought it up, but she kinda took off with it, I just wanted to find out if she was dating anyone else lol). She explained that she isn't seeing anyone now, and that she actually just broke up with a bf about 5 or so months ago. I explained my situation very briefly, (that my ex had dumped me about 5 months back as well, but for another guy! Lol). She kinda went on about how she kinda dated another guy, but found that he wasn't to her liking and cut it off. So I kinda get the impression that she went into a lot more detail than I hinted for, so that would be a good sign I think, but don't know. I took her back home and had “forgotten” something in her apartment, so walked her in to grab it. We both said we had a good time again, but we just had a quick hug. A little disappointed by that, but I just didn't feel comfortable with a kiss, and assume that she wouldn't be either. She is a little different in the fact that she explained to me that she doesn't put any info online (myspace, facebook, etc.) because she doesn't like people being able to look her up etc. She seems very private about her life in general, but we both seem to have an easy time talking to each other. She also told me that she never drinks ( a little disappointed there, I don't get drunk or party, but I do like to have a glass of wine, and I've found that some girls cannot handle this), because she is uncomfortable with losing any of her inhibitions. So I am trying to convince myself that she really is interested, but just a very shy/cautious person when it comes to relationships. Girls like this do exist right? Someone who really does like a guy, but moves very slowly, even though we're in College? I am more than willing to wait, but I really want to know if she's interested in me for me to hang around continuing to try to take her out and such. I wrote her an e-mail the day after our date saying that I had a really good time and to give me a call sometime or I will just give her a call. Here it is Monday night and she hasn't responded to this e-mail or called. I'm not worried about it really, it's only been one day, but I am playing with the idea of calling her wed night to see if she wants to get together thursday for a tv show we both watch. Sound like a good idea? I was kinda worried about this budding relationship, but as I write down what has happened, it really doesn't seem to be going that bad to me. It's strange how writing everything down kinda helps sort your thoughts. I would love any opinions on how to not screw up lol, as I really do enjoy this girl's company. My biggest question would be what I hinted upon earlier about shy/cautious girls. Does my situation seem ok? I know this may all be pointless, but thanks for reading it. It feels good to write it all down, and I would love an objective view on what's happening. I'm new to getting back into dating, so everything is new to me!!!! Thanks all! PS: I realize now that another one of my big questions is about her not picking up the phone. We don't really talk that much outside of setting up dates/dating, and seems to text more than talk. Maybe just because she doesn't feel comfortable talking on the phone too much? I think she is just a quiet person in general and likes texting "to keep conversations short" as she once told me. Is this normal? I would love to actually SPEAK to her more lol.
dreamergrl Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Sounds like you're doing all the chasing. It sounds like she enjoys your copmany - but isn't as into you as you are to her. Also, I think you're trying to hard to set up these dates. If you don't hear from her, you push harder. I can't speak for all women, but I think for many that is a turn off. Ease up a bit, if she's truly interested and you LEAVE the ball in her court you may see a better reaction.
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