Grace112 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 My friends have seen us break-up and get back together a handful of times over the past several years. Before my ex even called off the wedding, I had one friend constantly asking me "Are you sure about this? Is this what you really want?" He was referring to the stress I experienced with the yelling and his tendency to pursue his co-workers so that when we did break-up, he already had his next girlfriend. He was technically not cheating - but nonetheless the stress of these things definitely had wear and tear on my emotional and physical well-being. It's been almost 8 months since he's called off the wedding. He's happy with some woman he meant on MySpace 2 weeks after he called off the wedding and her two kids. Usually, if things are sticky for him, I would've heard from him by now, but because I haven't - I assume he's happy. If he is indeed happy - am I naive in thinking then that the problem must've been me? My friends try to comfort me in saying that he made the mistake. But if he is happy and I'm not - then doesn't that mean the problem lays with me? Was me being scared/nervous about what he might do with the next co-worker the reason why our relationship failed? Granted, we all have issues and we all bring baggage to the relationship - I never thought I was innocent of any wrong doing. I know I said things I wish I could take back now. And while I did find out he was secretly calling the woman I was worried about behind my back, which came first? Did I push him to it because I was nervous about her or was he already on that path and I just noticed it again?
Trojan John Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I do not think you are being naïve. It seems that there were multiple problems in your relationship at a cursory glance. The main problem seems to be his interest in other women whom he will leave you for at the drop of a hat. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't marry this guy. Listen to your friends and stop blaming yourself. The pain will go away eventually.
Author Grace112 Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 I remember reading an article about how guys tend to do that - have the next girl lined up if the two of you ever broke up. Is that the case or did I push him to it because I was nervous about what was going on between him and this girl? Again, yes I know he was indeed calling her without my knowing, but is this a case of counting your chickens before they're hatched?
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