qazwsx Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This is quite complicated but I will keep it short: -Met this woman about 4 years ago and we became the best of friends. No romance at all. But we were the best of friends, we talked everyday and we helped each other in all ways possible. -Then about 2yrs ago she wanted a romantic relationship, but I was apprehensive about it (not bc I did not like here), but bc of my past. I had been raped (very violent and brutal) by 2 men abt 11 yrs ago and had never told anyone about it. And she was the first person I confided about the incident. She was very supportive. And then I had to move to different city 700 miles away. - After about six months ago (during which I saw her 4 times, but talked everyday) she finally decided to end it. And I knew that I still had issues with my past so I very gracefully ended it. - However, about 9 months ago we got back together for a while, and then she again walked away. At that point I begged her to stay - lost all self-respect. Well I am a very rational person most of the times. :-) But we kept in regular touch - pretty much on a daily basis. She did tell me that I am all that she wants but there is something missing. - Since early this year, she started me calling a lot more, and we were talking multiple times everyday. But one fine day (3 weeks ago) she said that she needs distance bc being in touch with me was making her complacent in her search!!!! I have to admit that at this point I kind of flipped and told her that she is very selfish. - I know I have some issues bc of my rape and have worked very hard over the last year on them, but at this time I feel very devasted. On top of that I dont have a family at all - they have disowned me bc of my values...anyway thats a different story. - So a week ago, I called her to apologize that I had called very selfish, et al...(I know I was very emotional and displayed drama when she initially asked for distance). But this conversation was very civil, and I aopologized, and she said that "I cannot give you what you want, at least not at this time" and that she is not going to write or stay in touch with me for 6 weeks.. - I love her a lot, and have always treated her with utmost respect and all. Never cheated or did anything even though we lived in different cities. At this point, I am totally lost bc I have lost my best friend, and the love of my life....I have been through hell before but this seems to be even worse... - I have decided not to call her or stay in touch,....it hurts a lot, but I have realized now that since I love her so much, I should not be in her way.....I have lost everything - Just wanted to share, and hopefully get some pearls of wisdom. My heart hopes for one more chance....
Amy22 Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I think you deserve better for yourself. I can tell by your post that you care about this girl. But she has come in and out of your life and she is the one always making the decision. It is like she is yo-yoing you around. I would not contact her. I think she is playing you and that is not far to you. Has she had any consideration of your feelings during this time where she comes back and then ends it several times? I want you to know that I have felt like I have lost everything before, as a lot of other people have. But over time you will realize that you didn't. You don't deserve a girl that is going to come and go as she pleases. You say that you treat her with the utmost respect but does she do the same for you? Also a lot of people act with emotion when someone says they want some distance. I think that is a normal reaction and not one you should beat yourself up over. I think you both need some time. She needs to decide what she wants without going back and forth. You need time to realize you can have a life with her, a happy one. I know it may seem far away now but I promise you it will come. Just take one day at a time. Good Luck Amy
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