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Posted

Hello everyone. This weekend my girlfriend and I were planning to see each other. We last saw one another two weeks ago and planned my 5 hour trip down when we were together. Well yesterday she told me that she dosn't want me to come down this weekend because she wants to spend time with her friends because she doesn't have much time left until summer; meaning I wont get to see her until the first week of May. This is really upsetting for me. I look forward to our visits more than anything and it really hurt to think that she would cancel it. I can understand her reasons, but she also added, well maybe the weekend after. This part kind of confused me. If she wanted to spend the last couple weekends with her friends, then why could i come down the following weekend? It seems suspicious to me and I feel like shes keeping something from me, which I find terrifying. We have always told each other everything and I would hate to find out she is hiding something from me.

 

Part of me wants to tell her that I would still like to go down this weekend, and it's something I need to do but I don't want to take away the time she wants to spend with her friends. I tried bargaining and offered to just come down for a short day visit, or come down a day earlier and partake in the relay for life with her, but she didn't respond well to either of those ideas. Any ideas?

 

Also, for more background info, check my other thread titled "Young and Distant".

Posted

I think I can relate to her reasons. It's not only about the amount of time you spend with someone, but also how you split it up.

Sometimes I notice that my sister or my friends feel neglected because I spend most of my time online to talk to my boyfriend. I then feel the urge to do something with them as soon as possible (perhaps you could call it "to appease" :p).

That does in no way mean I prefer them to my boyfriend, but they are important, too, and I feel guilty if I don't take time to do something with them. If your girlfriend has similar feelings, it would be logical to me why she doesn't want the next weekend, but could have time the next. Maybe she doesn't need all the following weeks for her friends, but she needs time now, and sometime after.

 

Of course she could have different reasons... just a possibility.

Posted

Seems a bit suspicious to me. Why can you not spend time with her and her friends as well? Even more suspicious that she will not even entertain you for a shorter visit.

 

I was in a LDR for 2+ years, and I never got a statement like that. She and I both had friends visit while we were visiting each other and there was never a problem.

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Posted

I talked to her about it again today, and well... not so good. We have been having a lot of issues lately, all on my end. I've been making up irrational problems or concerns about her and I because I have so much alone time. Every night for about a week we have had emotional conversations because of my stupid train of though. I realized today that I am only doing this to make up for me being unhappy in college, so I would try to make and then fix things between us. This led to much unneeded drama. I know my real problems now and I know that I need to deal with them directly. This all said, she feels though, after this excruciating and emotional week, she needs some time to just relax and and enjoy the company of her friends. She is emotionally drained, as am I. I know that if I don't fix my own problems, I will destroy our relationship.

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