teddie Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 (edited) WHAT GIVES HER THE RIGHT? This is an open letter to all women who live a lie. What do I say to a woman that aided in the demise of my life as I knew it? My family, my dreams, and my kid’s life they now know. What do I say to a woman who has their father away, robbed me and my children from a relationship and a future that we always talked about together, worked towards together. AT WHAT POINT DOES IT BECOME RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY ANOTHER WOMENS PARTNER/ HUSBAND? AT WHAT POINT DO YOU JUSTIFY HURTING OTHER HUMAN BEINGS WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT OR CARE OF THE REPERCUSSIONS! This is BEYOND my COMPREHENSION! Was the battle worth it? And what about our children, you took away all the security and comfort they had in a stable household. OUR home life has been taken from them. As a woman, I can’t at all understand how you are comfortable with knowing that you completely and jointly tore apart our family. If your relationship with another woman’s man is what you want, you now have it. Do you believe all the lies? You should be number one in someone’s life. Are you number 1? Did you seek out a man that belongs to someone and a family to prove to yourself that you can have/take something that is not yours? Do you feel better living a lie? You are not a young girl you are a grown women, You KNOW better! All this time you robbed me of moving on. I can’t even understand the core values and what our children have learned from you both! You are the other women and always will be. It is not right what you both have done to my kids, his and my kids. Are you living an allusion of a grand life together? What kind of woman sets out to destroy another women’s life? The betrayal of womanhood is what I mostly can’t get past. What makes you think it is OK to step into another woman’s shoes and use things that do not belong to you! The thing’s WE bought and built together and own together, not YOU. You have no right to attach yourself to people and things that are not yours. It is one thing to manipulate a man and steel our life, but continuing to infiltrate our lives and forcing your presence on us is unforgivable! The disconnection you have and continue to cause to his children is beyond comprehension. What kind of prize are you looking for? Our whole world for all this time has been a lying cheating existence. I will stand up for myself and my family. We will never acknowledge a place for you in our family. The love we have for each other is never ending and will remain strong. What you do from now on is your business but stay out of our lives. You have your “prize” that you destroyed so much for. Live with the knowledge and understanding that whatever happens in life, our family is strong and we will prevail and be better from all this. Edited April 7, 2008 by teddie
Cobra_X30 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Here is what you say! "You can have him" You say that because deep down you know you can do better.
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This is where you take charge of your life. She's nothing but trash so deserves to be thrown out to the dump or garbureted out of your life. You have beautiful children who love you and deserve to have your focus. Do you really want a guy who can be led by the crotch or do you want a "real" man who loves and cherishes you? Make your choice towards happiness or towards more misery.
Author teddie Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Thank you so much, you are so on top of this!! I just need to be pushed or hit in the head a little, to see the llight!!
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I've been there enough to realize that people can be very selfish, although I have no children. Time to get selfish yourself and put that personal energy towards improving you and your childrens' life and emotional state. While your cheating spouse will always be the father of your children, the last thing you want to do, is to put your kids into the middle of a battlefield, fraught with emotional land mines. There's nothing wrong with letting him know what a lowlife you feel he is, but never in front of your children. They don't deserve to be emotionally scarred for life. Put your focus on ensuring that your children are financially taken care of. He's still the father of these children, therefore, give him 50% joint custody, if at all possible. You also deserve some freedom.
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Go out enjoy life, it's there for you taking. You bet Baby!! I'm so glad to be free of the ball and chain!
Woggle Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Your is the one that betrayed you so you should be angry at him first. If it weren't her it would be some other woman. Don't get me wrong I am not a supporter of OW but they wouldn't be able to do what they do without men who are willing to cheat.
Lookingforward Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 That part seems to have escaped her, Woggle It's ALL this nasty OW's fault
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I just KNEW there would be some OW coming on this thread to twist the knife. It's called justification for behaviour... Seriously teddie, try to focus on self and children. You deserve it!
OWoman Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I just KNEW there would be some OW coming on this thread to twist the knife. Woggle's an OW?? LF 's an OW??
Lookingforward Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Woggle's an OW?? LF 's an OW?? nope and nope
Dark-N-Romantic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Everyone in this situation made a personal choice in this situation (except the kids, who are going to reap the effects of those choices). It bites when anyone commits and infidelity. It is even worst I think for a person willingly engage in such an activity. And the person who is cheated on must also take up their role and figure out what they want to do. In your case you chose to be without him. I don't know the full story, maybe you made a wise choice or maybe you didn't, that does not matter. The thing is what do you do from here. One think is you MUST NOT let the breakup of your marriage make you bitter and resentful of your ex-husband. It would be in your and the children's best interest to work out an a plan with your ex how you will divvy up marital assets, how you are going to work out child support (DON'T LET HIM OFF THE HOOK FOR CHILD SUPPORT. Its for both of your children, not for you). Then work on how visitation will go. Don't let your anger and disgust of your husband's infidelity make you down talk him to the kids he shares. Even if he decides to move from their lives, bad talking him is the worst thing you could do to your children. You should also should be quickly rearrange your life without him there. Find activities that will promote positive change and healing in your life. Don't dwell on the bad chapter in your life. Close it and write a new one with what brings you joy in life. Give your time to readjust to the fact you are single again. Find your new ground and regain your strength to face the world. If you need to talk about things, talk to them with a trusted friend or family member (not with your kids). If you have time, find a family program for all of you to get into...Maybe there are programs that can support divorced spouses. Lastly, DO NOT give into meaningless sex to dull the pain. DO NOT rush back out into the dating scene as a rebound reaction, rebound relationships can be even more worst than the failed marriage. It is now all about choices and you know being in control. So, take the reigns and forge your new future. Sincerely, DNR
Lookingforward Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I don't know the full story, maybe you made a wise choice or maybe you didn't, that does not matter. No, we didn't really get the story, just the rant against the OW for destroying her marriage. Maybe if she cares to post more............but then again maybe that's all she wanted to do was vent.
LadyDi Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 But it's ok to vent, that's what this place is for....no matter which position you're in.
MoonlightLover Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 No, we didn't really get the story, just the rant against the OW for destroying her marriage. Maybe if she cares to post more............but then again maybe that's all she wanted to do was vent. But really...wasn't it the cheating husbands fault... who decided to f*ck around even though he had a wife and children at home? If the OW had offered him sex, then he could have just said no? Really. Im not saying don't be angry with the OW here, but seriously all comes down to the husbands decision to cheat or not to cheat...can't exactly repeatly rape a guy and label it affair against his will.
MoonlightLover Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Aswell really, personally...would never play around with another womans husband. But if he wants to play around eventually he will find a woman who will....i mean lets face it the majority of women are b*tches. I have hardly any female friends because they've slept with whoever i was seeing at the time. Plus we are all so back stabbing and two faced, sadly it doesn't change in alot of women as they get older.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Aswell really, personally...would never play around with another womans husband. But if he wants to play around eventually he will find a woman who will....i mean lets face it the majority of women are b*tches. I have hardly any female friends because they've slept with whoever i was seeing at the time. Plus we are all so back stabbing and two faced, sadly it doesn't change in alot of women as they get older. That's horrible that your friends would do this. I've only ever had one friend who tried to scoop guys who were interested in me or I thought were cute. She never tried it on anyone I was seeing or dating. She eventually matured out of this need, and is a very close friend of mine. Not all women will poach, although no doubt, women can be catty, some upfront, others through a whisper campaign of manipulation. As tweety bird says "I thought I thaw a putty-tat. I deed, I deed thee a putty-tat".
Author teddie Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 Yes I just needed to get it out how I feel about her. I know that it is the mans doing! I just can't get over how we as women hurt each other so much. I need to keep things easy for my children so I have to be able to get along with him. I know I will be better for all this. How do you let another man into your life? Will I trust him? Thank you everyone for all your advice, I needed it! This has lifted a lot of weight off my mind. You all have been so kind thanks.
Woggle Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Men sleep with their friend's wives and girlfriends as well. Look at how many threads you see on here with women who are affairs with their husband's best friends. If you ask me men like this deserve a good beatdown because they are lower than dirt to me. You just don't stab your friends in the back like that.
Lookingforward Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 But it's ok to vent, that's what this place is for....no matter which position you're in. Yup, sometimes you don't have anywhere else to let it out
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