notgoodatthis Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 (edited) This is a strange one. I will give you the Cliff Notes version. I dated a girl (age 30, I'm 38) for two months until she went on a cruise, had sex with a random guy and then broke up with me the day after she got back. I still dont know the reason why she broke up whether she couldn't face me after what happened or she thought she met someone else but it didnt work out. Who knows. I don't want to know. Anyway, turns out she ended up getting herpes from the guy! Once I found that out, I was so done with her. Here is the problem, she lives a half a block a way from me and we constantly cross paths. I mean almost daily. It has been 3 months since she told me about the herpes thing and since we see each other all the time and really get along well, we have begun spending pockets of time together having a beer, walking our dogs or going out to eat. My fear is that the feelings we have for each other will grow and end up back together. I don't want to get back with her on a romantic level but I like spending time with her. This is good i suppose but since I still have feelings for her, I don't want anyone else to have her. I'm at a loss at this point and don't know what to do! What do you all think????? By the way, i never had sex with her again and she has genuinely expressed remorse for what she did. Edited April 7, 2008 by notgoodatthis gramatical error
dreamergrl Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 My fear is that the feelings we have for each other will grow and end up back together. I don't want to get back with her on a romantic level but I like spending time with her. This is good i suppose but since I still have feelings for her, I don't want anyone else to have her. If you don't want to get back with her, and yet you sitll have feelings for her - let her be. You don't want anyone else to have her, but you don't want her either - it's only going to cause problems in the future. Until those romantic feelings are gone, I would not pursue any type of relationship with her.
Trojan John Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This has been posted a while ago, has it not? Seems familiar.
Cov Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Why would you want to a) re-enter a relationship with someone who cheated on you and then ended the relationship? My older brother who is six year's my senior told me a few years ago, that when relationship's end, they end for a reason and the two people whom part ways just aren't meant to be and it is evident you aren't meant to be, why else would she cheat? B) She caught herpes, do you want herpes, too? Herpes is easy to catch and you run the likely risk of catching it and imagine the embarrassment when you have to inform future love interests. Remain friends, but search for someone else, this girl is your past, focus on your future.
BUENG1 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This is a strange one. I will give you the Cliff Notes version. I dated a girl (age 30, I'm 38) for two months until she went on a cruise, had sex with a random guy and then broke up with me the day after she got back. I still dont know the reason why she broke up whether she couldn't face me after what happened or she thought she met someone else but it didnt work out. Who knows. I don't want to know. Anyway, turns out she ended up getting herpes from the guy! Once I found that out, I was so done with her. Here is the problem, she lives a half a block a way from me and we constantly cross paths. I mean almost daily. It has been 3 months since she told me about the herpes thing and since we see each other all the time and really get along well, we have begun spending pockets of time together having a beer, walking our dogs or going out to eat. My fear is that the feelings we have for each other will grow and end up back together. I don't want to get back with her on a romantic level but I like spending time with her. This is good i suppose but since I still have feelings for her, I don't want anyone else to have her. I'm at a loss at this point and don't know what to do! What do you all think????? By the way, i never had sex with her again and she has genuinely expressed remorse for what she did. This sounds cynical but part of the reason she might want to get back to together is that having an STD has a big stigma and makes it much harder to date. So there's a good chance that she thinks now that she has an STD she should just go for whatever she can get and what is most available. I wouldn't recomend getting back together and I also would say you just cut contact, and not lead her on any more either. You're just wasting time and energy(yours and hers) that you could use to get into a relationship with someone you can trust.
Author notgoodatthis Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 This sounds cynical but part of the reason she might want to get back to together is that having an STD has a big stigma and makes it much harder to date. So there's a good chance that she thinks now that she has an STD she should just go for whatever she can get and what is most available. I wouldn't recomend getting back together and I also would say you just cut contact, and not lead her on any more either. You're just wasting time and energy(yours and hers) that you could use to get into a relationship with someone you can trust. Great answer! Thank you so much.
Cov Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Great answer! Thank you so much. Alternatively you could move out of the area if it bother's you that much.
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