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Posted

I have broken up with my ex a week ago. I miss him loads now and there has been no contact. I know rationally that what I did was the right thing to do (he is immature, has cheated on me (while we were off, but still), I always had doubts about the relationship)... yet.... I miss him and love him and even though I don't want him back for the relationship the way it was I know that we two had a much greater potential....

 

Anyway, don't you hate it when you rationally understand that you should put an end to something, get over it and move on, but emotionally you're still attached, you still have the silly hopes of "what if?.." and you still think about them the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night??? :confused:

 

ps. we're both 24, have been together for 7 mo

Posted

Yeah, but it's the emotion overriding the rationality that I hate.

Posted
I have broken up with my ex a week ago. I miss him loads now and there has been no contact. I know rationally that what I did was the right thing to do (he is immature, has cheated on me (while we were off, but still), I always had doubts about the relationship)... yet.... I miss him and love him and even though I don't want him back for the relationship the way it was I know that we two had a much greater potential....

 

Anyway, don't you hate it when you rationally understand that you should put an end to something, get over it and move on, but emotionally you're still attached, you still have the silly hopes of "what if?.." and you still think about them the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night??? :confused:

 

ps. we're both 24, have been together for 7 mo

 

Just be thankful for rationality, I have never regretted making a rational decision, but the emotionally driven ones have been some gigantic clangers.

Posted

How is it cheating if you were broken up?

Posted

I think it depends on if you were 'broken up' or 'on a break'... if on a break, generally it's not about seeing other people, or if it is, it's not about getting seriously involved with them... Normally you talk about what is and isn't acceptable, when planning a 'break'. Since a break is used when people are contemplating breaking up, but want to see if it's possible / worth saving a relationship - normally sleeping with others isn't included in the break 'deal.

 

broken up completely - a different matter.

Posted

If you look at it rationally, you were on a break. Unless you defined the terms and conditions of your break, it's assumptive to say that he cheated.

 

Currently, I'm of the belief that while emotions can be fun, they most definitely shouldn't affect your decision-making abilities and even more importantly, should be kicked to the curb, when working through a break up. It makes it so much easier to move on.

Posted

yes. i hate it too.

i'm pretty much going through exactly the same thing as you. i'm even the same age and we've been together for the same time. we both want to be together, and we both love each other, but for practical reasons it's just not working... so it's breaking up. despite the emotions...

Posted
If you look at it rationally, you were on a break. Unless you defined the terms and conditions of your break, it's assumptive to say that he cheated.

 

Currently, I'm of the belief that while emotions can be fun, they most definitely shouldn't affect your decision-making abilities and even more importantly, should be kicked to the curb, when working through a break up. It makes it so much easier to move on.

 

This sounds like the long running debate between Ross and Rachel on Friends :laugh:. I agree with TBF, so scarey. However, OP I think you should go with your reason over your emotion.

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