suffragette13 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Man, my X came to visit today. He makes me sick. I've been wondering if I should discuss anything with him about the stupid **** he said today but naw, I think not. I was wondering if maybe I should take some drastic steps as far as visitation with my kids goes but I guess I'm looking for public opinion first. He walked straight into my house today-- no knock, nothing. He just flopped down in a chair and didn't say ANYTHING. Not a word to either of the kids-- he didn’t even say hello to any of us. He screamed at my son and made him cry. Then he stormed off and when he came back he looked at me and screamed "What?! That's it, I'm leaving!" and my daughter started sobbing and saying, "Why would Daddy come to just turn around and leave again?" He was here for 10 minutes today and made both of the children cry almost immediately. I was disgusted and stunned. Later he looked at me so seriously and said he was glad I was happier. He said that he was miserable. He'd been having migraines and leg pains—worse than ever. I seriously wanted to kill him or myself listening to him say the same **** he said to me for a decade!! I cannot believe he had the gall to complain to me! That he missed the kids SO MUCH but he didn't know, couldn't say if he would be more consistent about seeing them. We were talking about the kids and how beautiful in particular my daughter is and he said, "She looks just like you..." (She doesn't) But I'm just ... WTF is he doing? I KNOW it's bull****: that he's miserable, that he wishes he could keep the kids on the weekends. He told me I was doing such a great job with them and that they were so wonderful and blah blah blah but he won't pay for clothes or a SAFE car for them to ride in. His dorky 'ho must be sleepin' on the job. He's SOooooo unhappy! What does he think is going to happen if he whines around to me about his pathetic wasted life? Does he think it's going to make me love him again? Am I supposed to listen to him complain about that stupid twat he's seeing? I bet she doesn’t know how “miserable” he is. Why can he not stop LYING? He does not regret what he did, does not regret that he doesn't see his kids, OR HE WOULD. The children would cramp his style-- esp since he's running around with (and is one himself) SAD types who hang on to cool way too late in life... since they never were in their teens and 20's. I swear I think that's his whole problem. As for “thanking me” for doing “such a good job” and that he's “glad I’m happier” for some reason that makes me livid. For one thing, don’t bother thanking me for caring for OUR children when he knows he has given me no other choice. Of course I take good care of them. I ****ING LOVE THEM. Don’t thank me for being a good MOM. I do not expect to be honored because I’m just doing what I accepted and agreed to do when I made these kids. As for being glad I’m happier, **** that, too. The only reason he's glad to see me off and ok, is because MAYBE he won’t feel AS guilty for running out on me and them and then NEVER apologizing, never 'fessing up to what he did, never acknowledging the scope of his destruction, still being inconsistent, still being cruel and petty, still ****ing LYING, still putting his childish feelings ahead of his own kids. I just can't believe he's coming to ME for validation or trying to make me believe he's not a total bastard. Why does he care what I think? He has EXACTLY what he wanted. Why is he telling me that I look good? I know he's just trying to live with himself but you know, don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back about how everything is going to be ok in spite of you opting to be the worst person you can be. Little help putting a better spin on this to myself?
Gunny376 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Don't hold back suffragette13? Why don't you tell us how you really feel!? You teach people how to treat you! You can bet next years income, that no ex of mine just walks into my house without reprecussions ~ to include getting arrested? You can bet the farm ~ ranch that no one is going to make children cry without totting an @sswhopping!
inshock Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 My husband is doing almost the same exact thing.Except he lives with his girlfriend.. I have finally just said No Personal Contact.They seem to enjoy playing the game and a part of them wants to keep you on hold.Its all about THEM They are shameless,sorry,shallow people who cant see or feel the need and pain of others.... Dont let him do this to you or your children anymore.Put rules in place and make him abide by them. Its going to take alot of work on our parts to get rid of these losers.They know they blew a good thing...You go girl!!!
Author suffragette13 Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Thanks for the input guys. It's shocking. He is-- in he words of Charlie Murphy, a habitual line stepper. Every time I think I have our boundaries defined, he oversteps! My son wouldn't go near him yesterday after he yelled at him like that. After he was with them for just a little while yesterday, his rage melted away and he was trying to ingratiate himself to me. It's confusing. I think he is very conflicted. And now of course he has this bitch who is obviously very jealous, bitching about me and his kids and egging him on to act like a complete ass. The whole thing is tiring and triflin' and sad. I'm just trying to stay cool and be above his bad behavior-- doing what I always did, holding it in the road for my kids... trying to placate him enough to get him to act right. Right now it just doesn't behoove me to act any other way. We have nothing in writing. I have to be diplomatic, soothe my kids and do my best to make him feel guilty and obligated. God-- I must be the luckiest woman alive. I married a disloyal, revisionist historian, philandering, selfish, childish fu*khead who is also incredibly weak and being led around by this childless 'ho who doesn't know anything about having kids or a family. No wonder he's miserable. He deserves it! But then, I know he isn't miserable, that he picked the life he has now over what he had with me and his children. You never really get what you think you are- he thought he'd get to run off to fantasy land with some other woman (and there have been a few) and everything would magically be ok, but that was such a joke! He has to deal with all of the worst things about being tied to me and his kids on a daily basis but he gets NONE of the perks. What an idiot.
Author suffragette13 Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 I am so enraged! I cannot stand to see him, even though I know it's solely for the kids. Just knowing that if I hadn't found out about that posing goober he's been USING, that he would still be sleeping with me (trying to) that he would still be treating me with as little value as he treats her when I am the mother of his children, I gave him everything of value in his life, I loved him so much... and dealt with more of his BS than anyone ever should have---it just makes me so PISSED. How could he treat me this way??? Use her, treat her like crap, fool her, lie to her, she deserves it but what did I do to be treated this way? He was even trying to tell me about his psychological problems yesterday... about how his parents favored his sister. I just said, "So that's what's wrong with you..." like I haven't heard this middle aged man bitch about his Mummy and Daddy before. Screw it, I'm going to do something. I live in a university town and love school. I'm going to go back and get enrolled and get some kind of two year training in the medical field where I can always get a job in any city and meet some cute Dr. I'm going to start riding horses again and take some archery classes. I'm going to do stuff and forget about this loser and all this redneck drama I'm getting pulled into. It's just like Jerry Springer... next up... flying SHOES. My kids deserve better. inshock, I feel for you so much. I know how it is to be surrounded by family and still feel like there's this gaping hole in your life where he used to be. It's like this honey, just think about the **** he is that really disgusts you. For instance, my x had this gigantic zit on the side of his neck. I mean, it looked like a boil. I've never seen anything like it and every time I looked at it it literally made me sick. I used to do that kind of thing when I wanted to get over some guy I wasn't really into, study the blackheads on their nose, mentally critique their driving skills. before you know it, you really don't want them anymore. i just wish there was a way I could erase him and any memory of him from my life or my kids lives. But it's been a while and I don't wae up reaching for him anymore. I don't miss how we used to talk and laugh and kiss when we got into bed every night. I do NOT miss the constant bitching or how he was the worlds biggest hypochondriac. Why was I ever with him??? Let's hope we can race towards indifference soon. my thoughts are with you. The pain does end. here's to poise and behaving well.
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