2sunny Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Grrrrrr!!! I have decided that I'm not good at this at all. I don't mind being on my own - just would like to enjoy the company of a nice man every now and then. Is honesty in a profile too much to ask? Geeez, so many men post a fake photo and info that is totally false. RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there!
shockandawed Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Grrrrrr!!! I have decided that I'm not good at this at all. I don't mind being on my own - just would like to enjoy the company of a nice man every now and then. Is honesty in a profile too much to ask? Geeez, so many men post a fake photo and info that is totally false. RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there! Rant away Sunny..I hear you loud and clear...unfortunately it seems there are just as many women doing the same thing.
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I don't know: Match.com'ers seem to be naively honest, whether they mean to give it away or not. The level of ignorance is overwhelming--and narrows the dating pool significantly. Actual text from Match.com ads. They should offer a search that will weed out people who don't have enough sense to use spell-check.
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 And, since we're ranting, why is it that when you express interest, they act like you want to marry them and have their baby? Are they all just completely full of themselves?
TheFonz Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 And, since we're ranting, why is it that when you express interest, they act like you want to marry them and have their baby? Are they all just completely full of themselves? Or maybe they are desperate for a wife and children?
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Or maybe they are desperate for a wife and children? No. If you say, "Hey, I know we've only been emailing each other for two weeks, but I like you, Bill." They freak out and start back-pedaling as though you've just asked them to marry you on the first date. Maybe people are just freaked out by honesty and directness? I have no idea.
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 And don't men have enough sense to not hone in on sex right off the bat? Why not just say: I'm only interested in sex with you. Will you have sex with me? Right now? It's disgusting.
Curmudgeon Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there! You know that some of us are real. You have proof positive. There have to be others. The right one will find you, or you them. There's no rush.
Curmudgeon Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 And, since we're ranting, why is it that when you express interest, they act like you want to marry them and have their baby? Are they all just completely full of themselves? You've really had some experiences and been hurt by them, haven't you? Not all men are cads. Some of us are actually quite caring. For the record, I would NOT want you to have my baby. I'm quite content with the children I already have and too old to even think about another.
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 You've really had some experiences and been hurt by them, haven't you? Haven't we all? But honestly, it's just annoying. I seem to be misunderstood frequently, but only when I'm saying exactly what I'm thinking. People are much more comfortable with games. Not all men are cads. Some of us are actually quite caring. For the record, I would NOT want you to have my baby. I'm quite content with the children I already have and too old to even think about another. I must not be writing this correctly: They only think I want to marry them and have their baby. They don't actually WANT me to marry them and have their baby. That's why they back-pedal.
Curmudgeon Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Haven't we all? But honestly, it's just annoying. I seem to be misunderstood frequently, but only when I'm saying exactly what I'm thinking. People are much more comfortable with games. Have you had your man-picker in the shop lately for an oil change, lube job and tune-up? It might be time!
Pyro Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Grrrrrr!!! I have decided that I'm not good at this at all. I don't mind being on my own - just would like to enjoy the company of a nice man every now and then. Is honesty in a profile too much to ask? Geeez, so many men post a fake photo and info that is totally false. RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there! I here you on that. Back in the day I tried online dating and it was more pain then pleasure, but don't lose all faith. With the bad there is also the good, so just hang in there.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 The best advice I can hand out is to play it cool and nonchalant. Don't hold too much expectations for any date as you'll only dig yourself an emotional pit afterwards. I think one of the biggest mistakes we can make is "settling" while we're only dating. Dating is all about fun, that means leaving all emotional aspects of yourself behind. No attachments, until it reaches a stage that warrants it.
grogster Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 When I trolled on Match my Match dates complained frequently of men lying about their age, hair, height and weight. Then you had the "big spender"--some a-hole who would spend hundreds of dollars on a first date and then get pissed-off when the lady refuses to sleep with him. My experience with Match women has been mostly positive except for the sad lady who told me at dinner that I was her 400th Match date. I almost chocked on my french fries.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 When I trolled on Match my Match dates complained frequently of men lying about their age, hair, height and weight. Then you had the "big spender"--some a-hole who would spend hundreds of dollars on a first date and then get pissed-off when the lady refuses to sleep with him. My experience with Match women has been mostly positive except for the sad lady who told me at dinner that I was her 400th Match date. I almost chocked on my french fries. I really find dating sites hilarious... I think it's the way that most people on those sites approach dating are similar to an "all or nothing" mentality. Going on, say, Match.com, doesn't necessary guarantee that you'll get a date, or even meet your future spouse, it just widens your chances of actually meeting someone with similar interests. The commercials advertised are all bogus and they probably use actors for it. And if you actually think about it, the dating market has been booming this last decade or so, and alot of these sites are popping up all over the place for a commercial profit.
D-Jam Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Grrrrrr!!! I have decided that I'm not good at this at all. I don't mind being on my own - just would like to enjoy the company of a nice man every now and then. Is honesty in a profile too much to ask? Geeez, so many men post a fake photo and info that is totally false. RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there! Sorry to hear about that. Seems to be all over the online dating thing. I'd tell you to just be patient, take the time to get to know people, and don't feel bad if you have to get up and walk out on a date when the person you met is a total falsehood of what they showed of themselves online.
Cov Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I really find dating sites hilarious... I think it's the way that most people on those sites approach dating are similar to an "all or nothing" mentality. Going on, say, Match.com, doesn't necessary guarantee that you'll get a date, or even meet your future spouse, it just widens your chances of actually meeting someone with similar interests. The commercials advertised are all bogus and they probably use actors for it. And if you actually think about it, the dating market has been booming this last decade or so, and alot of these sites are popping up all over the place for a commercial profit. My cousin met his wife on a dating site some eight years ago, and are now married as of two years and are expecting a child, so it can work, I suppose it's all about luck. I prefer to the traditional "hunt and gather" technique, and I caught me an excellent catch.
D-Jam Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 No. If you say, "Hey, I know we've only been emailing each other for two weeks, but I like you, Bill." They freak out and start back-pedaling as though you've just asked them to marry you on the first date. Maybe people are just freaked out by honesty and directness? I have no idea. I dunno if you ever read "Unhooked Generation", but I personally think the key problem is that too many men and women are so scared of "settling", that they want to have dating be as risk-free and as much of a "test drive" as possible. People want to feel inside (despite all their insecurities) that this person they pick will be the best of the best most perfect person for them, and that no "bigger better deal" won't come along next week. It's even why both genders run into a lot of commitment-phobes. Ones who want to keep things at "just seeing one another" for a very long time before they'll even use the terms "dating" or especially "relationship", "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". People want to see if this person will still appear exciting a month from now. They want to know he/she is amazing in bed. They want to see if this person will age gracefully or badly. They want to see if he/she will ever get fat. A lot of this is very very silly and it's why men and women are so chronically single and even dateless nowadays, as well as why the "hookup culture" is so rampant all over. People need to stop being so damn scared and stop thinking that every request is "til death do us part".
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Strictly my opinion but dating sites are a waste of time. Start expanding your real life social network, which will get you access to more potential friends of either gender or romantic interests. Single brothers and male friends of male/female friends are where it's at!
Phateless Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Grrrrrr!!! I have decided that I'm not good at this at all. I don't mind being on my own - just would like to enjoy the company of a nice man every now and then. Is honesty in a profile too much to ask? Geeez, so many men post a fake photo and info that is totally false. RANTING here - just tired of the fake folks out there! I kinda like the dating world. It's fun, but it's a cluster-_ _ _ _!!! I enjoy being single, so I don't mind. If "the one" drops out of the sky then I'll go that route.
EnigmaXOXO Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I know quite a few folks who met via online dating and later married. So yes, it can work. I still think its a good option if you’re not into meat markets (bars & clubs), well meaning but often mismatched fix-ups by family and friends ... or dating folks that you have to work with everyday. But the key is to try and preserve your sense of humor even when those dates turn out to be total disasters. Some of the most awkward situations are down right funny when you look back on them. My rant: those pornosaurs who confuse online dating profiles with cam-ho advertisements. Ladies, you know the ones ... they respond to your profile quite politely at first, but then their correspondence quickly degrades into a desperate plead for more photos, and eventually (yes gals) the dreaded solicitation for naked pics. Or the ones who email with a quick “Wow, you’re hot. Can we chat?” ... and attach a link to their profile along with a blurry photo of their crotch. Why anyone would think this was a clever and unique way to stand out in a crowd and make a good first impression is beyond me. Then again, these are usually the same nutjobs (pun intended ) who flood your inbox with nasty-grams when you delete them. I have to wonder if the guys on the dating sites have ever run into the reverse of this scenario? Then again, I can’t imagine males being too put off by free boob shots unless they were required to sign up for an account and enter a credit card number before they could respond. :confused:
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