LoveLace Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This guy has been an acquaintance of mine for a few years, we met through mutual friends and kind of liked each other once, but nothing ever came of it. I liked him but decided not to pursue any further. I rarely see him anymore, but last time I did, I was re-impressed by him. I thought, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him more, and yes he's single! Then I randomly called him up one night like a month ago, but he was busy and couldn't hang out...but he reminisced about when we met, and asked if he could call and ask me out sometime...I said that would be great! Tonight, I suddenly remembered that he never called. It was only 8pm and I wasn't ready to go home, so I wondered if he'd wanna hang out....he said he'd love to accomodate me but again he was in the middle of something...I asked what he was doing next Saturday, and he said "Tuesday, call me Tuesday!"....way sooner! He must dig me to say that right? So I am supposed to call him when he's off work Tuesday....I feel excited like I just got a date!! ....it is a date, right?!
SpikeyChick Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This guy has been an acquaintance of mine for a few years, we met through mutual friends and kind of liked each other once, but nothing ever came of it. I liked him but decided not to pursue any further. I rarely see him anymore, but last time I did, I was re-impressed by him. I thought, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him more, and yes he's single! Then I randomly called him up one night like a month ago, but he was busy and couldn't hang out...but he reminisced about when we met, and asked if he could call and ask me out sometime...I said that would be great! Tonight, I suddenly remembered that he never called. It was only 8pm and I wasn't ready to go home, so I wondered if he'd wanna hang out....he said he'd love to accomodate me but again he was in the middle of something...I asked what he was doing next Saturday, and he said "Tuesday, call me Tuesday!"....way sooner! He must dig me to say that right? So I am supposed to call him when he's off work Tuesday....I feel excited like I just got a date!! ....it is a date, right?! Yep , he is interested and available. This happened to me once when I was 30 years old , and I just called him like you did and made a date. I freaked out the next day because my idiot of a "best girlfriend " at the time told me to play a "cat and mouse" game and get him to chase me. I asked my brothers and they said that most men are relieved and flattered when a confident woman asks them out, and she does NOT play "chase me " games. I trusted my brother's advice so I dated this guy with a passion . WE have now been married for 6 funfilled years and we take turns "hitting" on each other and setting up our hot dates.
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Not to be Debbie Downer, but to me, it just sounds like a phone call, not a date. What if he doesn't answer?
SpikeyChick Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 (edited) Not to be Debbie Downer, but to me, it just sounds like a phone call, not a date. What if he doesn't answer? Talk about raining on LLs parade What if he does answer , Debbie ? What if he really wants to date her ? Go for it LoveLace. Who dares wins. Edited April 7, 2008 by SpikeyChick
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Talk about raining on LLs parade What if he does answer , Debbie ? What if he really wants to date her ? Go for it LoveLace. Who dares wins. Then that would be fabulous. I was answering the OP's question. I don't see anywhere where either of them said, "Excellent! See you at 7 at Conor's!"
AriaIncognito Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I have to agree with the happy cynic. He asked her to call him tuesday. What's to say that he'll be available when she does? I dont know, maybe I've been burned one too many times, but well, I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket just yet here and assume anything. Once he makes concrete plans with her, THEN it's a date. Until then, well, it's a phone call that might or might not lead to one. The fact that he's seemingly open to the idea is good, but again I'd make no assumptions until a date is set....
Matt105 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Not to be Debbie Downer, but to me, it just sounds like a phone call, not a date. What if he doesn't answer? Agreed. But really just go for it. Call him up (unless he calls you, which would be great) and see what he says. Sorry it may hurt a bit, but if he doesn't answer or has some excuse why he can't do anything Tuesday, he's not into it.
Balthazar Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Then I randomly called him up one night like a month ago, but he was busy and couldn't hang out...but he reminisced about when we met, and asked if he could call and ask me out sometime...I said that would be great! Tonight, I suddenly remembered that he never called. It was only 8pm and I wasn't ready to go home, so I wondered if he'd wanna hang out....he said he'd love to accomodate me but again he was in the middle of something...I asked what he was doing next Saturday, and he said "Tuesday, call me Tuesday!"....way sooner! He must dig me to say that right? So I am supposed to call him when he's off work Tuesday....I feel excited like I just got a date!! ....it is a date, right?! I'm not sure Lovelace. It's true that we like a confident woman making a move at times, but I haven't seen much action on his part. First, he got your number and never called. This is low interest. Men always call when they are sexually attracted to a woman. 110% of the time at least. Second, you call him, and instead of a specific day and time, he says "call me on Tuesday" This guy is so comfortable that he asks "you" to call him for a date. Why? Because he knows you will. Now, as a man, I may like the fact that a woman is chasing me. However, this is not really as it should be and it doesn't help build up my attraction. I am not advocating "hard to get" tactics, but you need some concrete signs from him. If this guy is attracted to you, he should have taken more positive actions to see you. To my mind, his actions point towards low interest; a "friends zone" relationship Still, I could be way wrong. Many men have totally broken with dating conventions. Hope everything works out,
SpikeyChick Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I have to agree with the happy cynic. He asked her to call him tuesday. What's to say that he'll be available when she does? Girls , this "what if .." thinking is so self defeating - just negative, fearful voices in your head. By all means protect yourself against REAL threats or guys who are trouble, but this guy is giving her "go ahead "signals . Where is the problem here ? Not with him !. This kind of self protection is is weak, scaredy cat thinking and not what a strong woman thinks. I have a great husband because I refused to give any oxygen to these fears and insecurities why they arose . Weak woman never land great strong men. My husband adores me and admires me because he KNOWS that i can take care of business because I never fell into the 'poor me' whiney girly game. Take a chance girls - you are all grown up y'know. SO what if a guy does not fall at your feet or does not answer the phone or whatever. So what ?
TheFonz Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 What you should've done when he told you to call him on Tuesday is tell him to call you on Tuesday. Then when he called answered and decided on what the plan is. That would've been fair. This guy is not doing his part to jump on what he should be seeing as an opportunity. It's a little preliminary but he just seem to not be appreciating you putting in some effort and might be seeing how far you'll chase meanwhile why he loses interest. Some people are stupid like that or maybe not that interested.
AriaIncognito Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 SO what if a guy does not fall at your feet or does not answer the phone or whatever. So what ? This is definitely great advice. It's advice that will be hard for many to grasp, but great advice nonetheless. I think if many here adopted it, we'd see a lot less postings about being "confused" about how the opposite sex feels, for sure, because we just wouldn't care :-)
Author LoveLace Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Thanks. To answer the question of him not calling, he explained last night that his cell phone isn't storing #'s in the memory or whatever...plus he said he was in the middle of something so I didn't suggest he wrote the # down the archaic way... I think he's into it though because he seemed frustrated that every time I call (which has only been twice) it's always spontaneous and he's doing something, he wasn't shy about saying a call in advance would be better! So I suggested what about next Saturday then? Then he got excited and said yea, that's what I mean...but why don't we do something on Tuesday? He said that he gets of work at 5:30pm so to call him then. I agreed to do that, so I will...but the fact that he bumped it up from Saturday to Tuesday tells me he didn't wanna wait that long or something!
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