Warlord Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Hey, I've read thread after thread, post after post on this forum, trying to find guidance in my situation. But I've yet to find anything that relates to me that much, and I need some help. Basically, I've been in an LDR with my gf for over 2 years, as I'm at uni. I feel like uni has been a waste of 3 years of my life and the location is awful, the living conditions are bad, the social life is terrible and recently I've been trying to, at least, make the most of it. I've been going out almost every night, just to a bar, to have a couple of drinks and make the most of this place. This, in turn, annoyed my ex as she didn't like how I was going out all the time instead of talking to her more. But we used to talk so much that we'd have nothing to talk about. I even told her that, and recently I haven't wanted to speak as much, just to prevent that boredom factor from creeping up. In any case, I went out the other night, and she txt to say goodnight. I genuinely forgot to txt back, and in the morning I apologised and told her it was a genuine mistake. She was having none of it and decided to stay annoyed with me and not speak to me properly. The next day (saturday morning) I get an e-mail from her complaining about all these different aspects of our relationship...how I never make an effort with her family/friends, how I don't speak to her much when I'm at uni, how I don't seem to like to boast that I have a girlfriend. I e-mailed back with counter-points and then made points about the things I don't like about her...how she doesn't appreciate how I drive 500 miles every other weekend just for her and EXPECTS me to do it, how she gets insecure/jealous when I go out, how she likes to argue through txt messages, e-mails and MSN instead of speaking face to face or on the phone etc. At the end of the e-mail I told her that I think we should have a break, and I did mean it as I thought it would be beneficial. Anyhow, I got a call later that evening from her to say that she didn't want a break as she doesn't think it would work if we got back together after it, and that we should "go our separate ways." I said "if that's what you want" and she said it was, then there was an awkward silence and we said bye. Today (the second day) it's really hit me bad. I stupidly made a txt file on my computer and put it in the MSN Sharing Folder I have with her, and inside it said "I miss you." I got a message from her on MSN a few seconds later saying "please dont," to which I didn't reply. I then got another message about half an hour later to ask me if I wanted help with my e-mails (she helps out with customer service for my business). ---- When we were first together, we split up after 2 months because I was too clingy. She got with someone else for 3 months, and then one day I was waiting for a bus and she drove past, turned around and offered me a lift. After that, we started speaking again and she split up with her bf and got back with me. After we got back that time, we've split up once for less than a week, due to a stupid misunderstanding, for which I was mostly at fault. We've always argued in our relationship, but we've always had periods of arguing for a month or two, then periods of not arguing for a month or two. ---- I don't know what to do. I want her back so bad and I love her so much, but I feel she may have had enough. Every time we've had problems and almost split up, she's told me that she couldn't imagine me not being in her life. I can't imagine her not being in mine, either. After reading advice on the net, I've decided that NC is the best way to go for now? But the thing I've never understood and never seen posted is that if one person decides to NC and then the other person also decides to NC, who's gonna win that? What if she's waiting for me to contact her and I'm waiting for her to contact me? I'm so upset and confused, I was depressed before this happened and now I can't even get out of my chair to get some food, not that I feel like eating anyway... Please help.
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