TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 When a guy meets a girl, she quickly puts him into one of two compartments, A lover or a nonlover. If you are put into the lover zone well I don't really need to explain that othr than this zone includes ONS, FB's, FWB, and budding LTR, the whole gambit basically. The important thing is it happens fast and before she really knows that much about you. But if you are put into the nonlover zone it has two classes. Friend zone and enemy zone. The enemy zone is where she hates you from the get go maybe usually because she's not attracted to you and not necessarily because you really did anything wrong to her. You're never going to get out of the enemy zone or friend zone into the lover zone is the important thing. Being in the friend zone can be the wrost though it was the most time wasting and crushing thing even worse than being the enemy. Being in the enemy zone means you probably didn't waste too much time and you are actually closer to being a lover than the friend zone guy is.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Absolutely. Either a guy gives off sexual energy or he doesn't. Sexual energy: 1. Confidence in himself. He knows he's a cool guy and that he's a catch. This is not a competition thing. He doesn't compare himself to others, he just knows it. This may or may not even be true but the dude HAS to think like this. 2. Confidence in his abilities to attract women. He knows he's an attractive guy. By attractive I don't mean a chiseled jawline or flat abs (not that that hurts). Attractive because he's got an interesting life, and he has interesting things to say. 3. Enjoys sex and being good at it. Any other additions???? Sexual energy is oftentimes what will separate one average joe from the next. Just my two cents. I've gone on two dates recently. Both good looking guys, graduate degrees, good jobs, interesting and thoughtful people. Saturday guy? Definitely a second date. Tuesday guy? No second date. He lacks sexual energy and social dexterity.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Oh, and the Tuesday guy gives off a faint air of desperation, which repels me. Viscerally. Ick.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Tuesday guy? No second date. He lacks sexual energy and social dexterity. Oh, and the Tuesday guy gives off a faint air of desperation, which repels me. Viscerally. Ick. I have my own ideas about this but we need to really disect the two bolded points. On the surface they appear like a dichotomy and a contradiction.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Not sure what you are saying...in what way are the two bolded points a contradiction?
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Not sure what you are saying...in what way are the two bolded points a contradiction? OK look at it this way: doesn't it make more sense to say that a guy who is giving off sexual energy would seem more desperate than a guy who is not? You suggested the opposite.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Try a google search on "ladder theory" - you'll find it interesting no doubt. I expect anyone who is trying to figure out the friend/lover fine line would find it interesting.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Try a google search on "ladder theory" - you'll find it interesting no doubt. I expect anyone who is trying to figure out the friend/lover fine line would find it interesting. Iread the ladder theory. But as I recall it was mostly about the answer to the question why and what and not much about the how. If that makes sense.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 OK look at it this way: doesn't it make more sense to say that a guy who is giving off sexual energy would seem more desperate than a guy who is not? You suggested the opposite. No. By sexual energy I do not mean a guys who just can't wait to get laid. It's more an internal trait. Other than those original points I laid out, I'm not really sure how to describe it. The desperate guy does not have as much skill with women, therefore he tries to hard to grasp to one who may be responding.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 No. By sexual energy I do not mean a guys who just can't wait to get laid. It's more an internal trait. Other than those original points I laid out, I'm not really sure how to describe it. The desperate guy does not have as much skill with women, therefore he tries to hard to grasp to one who may be responding. In other words a nice guy. A guy who is offering commitment and devotion without demanding sex first .
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 In other words a nice guy. A guy who is offering commitment and devotion without demanding sex first . No. for example, the Saturday guy talked about wanting kids, a family, etc more than the Tuesday guy. I know him through a friend so I know it's not just a line. Tuesday guy. Acting overly familiar with me. Asking me to go for walks, eat dinner at his house, etc. I hardly know the guy. He "friended" me on facebook without knowing my last name, so that obviously took some searching. He's a little wierd. Where I live there is usually a little more formality in the beginning. I hate that "nice guy" rant. Nice guys is not enough. They need to be interesting too. And since when does a guy offer commitment and devotion to a woman before he's slept with her? 1892?
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 No. for example, the Saturday guy talked about wanting kids, a family, etc more than the Tuesday guy. I know him through a friend so I know it's not just a line. Tuesday guy. Acting overly familiar with me. Asking me to go for walks, eat dinner at his house, etc. I hardly know the guy. He "friended" me on facebook without knowing my last name, so that obviously took some searching. He's a little wierd. Where I live there is usually a little more formality in the beginning. I hate that "nice guy" rant. Nice guys is not enough. They need to be interesting too. And since when does a guy offer commitment and devotion to a woman before he's slept with her? 1892? I'm thinking the Saturday guy was just better looking. You still havent gave any real examples of how Saturday guy conveyd more sexual energy and the Tuesday guy didn't. And I agree men don't offer commitment and devotion before sex, but a lot of posters on here make it very clear that they expect a lot of time and dates proving commitment and devotion before sex, and no booty calls.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I'm thinking the Saturday guy was just better looking. You still havent gave any real examples of how Saturday guy conveyd more sexual energy and the Tuesday guy didn't. And I agree men don't offer commitment and devotion before sex, but a lot of posters on here make it very clear that they expect a lot of time and dates proving commitment and devotion before sex, and no booty calls. LOL he was a little cuter. But just a little. Saturday guy was just overall more confident and sure of himself. Tuesday guy gave off an aura of nervousness. But this is just my opinion. Maybe other women have different reasons for relegating men to the "friend" category. In the end, however, every person is unique and the exact set of traits I find attractive may be unattractive to the next woman, and vice versa.
Cov Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I read this and I'm so confused, I feel like Neil Young when he tries to be intelligent and then looks like a tool. What's a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday man? I hate all this dating stuff, I'm gonna stick to masturbation and porn.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 LOL he was a little cuter. But just a little. In the end, however, every person is unique and the exact set of traits I find attractive may be unattractive to the next woman, and vice versa. Well attraction is similar for most people. That's why one person attracts a lot of people and another does not.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I wish I had a man for every day of the week, LOL!!!! Kinda like that underwear you used to wear when you were a kid? With the days of the week on them? Maybe that's what I will do....put the days of the week underwear on my men so I can tell them apart.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I hate all this dating stuff, I'm gonna stick to masturbation and porn. Don't forget prostitutes and strippers . But seriously as my OP explained ONS, FB and FWB is the rule not the exception. Does anyone really date anymore. Maybe I should start a new thread about whether people actually date.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I wish I had a man for every day of the week, LOL!!!! Kinda like that underwear you used to wear when you were a kid? With the days of the week on them? Maybe that's what I will do....put the days of the week underwear on my men so I can tell them apart. This is what I do have a different girl for everyday of the week . But since it's a new set of girls every week, and I don't really care which girls is on what day it would be better for me to just have them put their names on their panties . PS: you had a Tuesday guy and was dissatisified. I think you're too picky to have a different guy every day of the week.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 This is what I do have a different girl for everyday of the week . But since it's a new set of girls every week, and I don't really care which girls is on what day it would be better for me to just have them put their names on their panties . PS: you had a Tuesday guy and was dissatisified. I think you're too picky to have a different guy every day of the week. True, true. I little recycling may be required.
DanielMadr Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 OK look at it this way: doesn't it make more sense to say that a guy who is giving off sexual energy would seem more desperate than a guy who is not? You suggested the opposite. You are probably talking sexual charisma aka sex-appeal. I dont know how to describe charisma or sexual charisma in words other than you see flames in his/her eyes. No horns, mind you, just flames.
DanielMadr Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 This is what I do have a different girl for everyday of the week . But since it's a new set of girls every week, and I don't really care which girls is on what day it would be better for me to just have them put their names on their panties . PS: you had a Tuesday guy and was dissatisified. I think you're too picky to have a different guy every day of the week. Fonz you are such a perv.
Author TheFonz Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 You are probably talking sexual charisma aka sex-appeal. I dont know how to describe charisma or sexual charisma in words other than you see flames in his/her eyes. No horns, mind you, just flames. I descibe it as the man has to have a bad mentality. This causes attraction in the female.
SpikeyChick Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 OK look at it this way: doesn't it make more sense to say that a guy who is giving off sexual energy would seem more desperate than a guy who is not? You suggested the opposite. Fonz, a guy who gives off "sexual energy" is like a radiator of life energy. He is HOT. A guy who is sending out "desperation" signals is the opposite, It is like he NEEDS you to give him permission to be sexual. Women here probably know what I am saying. You guys are raised to HIDE your sexuality these days and then you pretend that you want to be with women for "friendship" Yuk !. Do you realize that such guys are NOT attractive ( well not to me anyway)
Author TheFonz Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Fonz, a guy who gives off "sexual energy" is like a radiator of life energy. He is HOT. A guy who is sending out "desperation" signals is the opposite, It is like he NEEDS you to give him permission to be sexual. Women here probably know what I am saying. You guys are raised to HIDE your sexuality these days and then you pretend that you want to be with women for "friendship" Yuk !. Do you realize that such guys are NOT attractive ( well not to me anyway) No Cherry blossom was couching it that way. I was saying the guy has to have "dirty" mind and not have any inner inhibitions about it. Cobine that with being good looking and then he doesn't even have to verbalize anything sexual in nature. His "bad" nature is picked up by the girl and causes attraction. I put the words like bad and dirty in quotations because I don't necessarily believe they are really bad. The words are just for descriptive purposes.
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