Catching me by supprise

[kalais]

Hi All,

 

This is my first post here. I haven't posted on any type of forum in years. I have settled a long way from my home country after traveling a bit and have not been home in two years or so.

 

I’ve been recently confronted by a dream of my ex-girlfriend - I have looked over the other threads covering this [and more] and have found some answers, but not all. Needless to say, this left me thinking about both myself and her.

I have not seen or spoken to girl 'X' in about three years. We've not been properly together since about 04. Our relationship was about 3-4 years long. It was vigorous and a little messy at time but we loved and lived with each other and had strong commitment, minds and emotions. I will spare you the rest.

Upon the break-up [drawn out, mutual], I found myself in quite a sorry state. I slowly pulled myself together, quelled a long standing drug problem [not addiction, just abusing my perfectly good brain], dealt with a bout of depression [not exclusively related to the relationship or drugs], sort help from friends etc and slowly but surely I rebuilt myself… Or so I thought.

Many years on, I am still being confronted with thoughts of her and the mistakes which I had made. I've been through every scenario - 'I must forgive myself', 'it wasn't meant to be', 'it has gone on too long, forget about it', 'she won't even be the same person any more - do you even remember that person?!'.

Note: due to travel and other commitments I have been in a situation recently which dictates that I do not go out a lot and I am working particularly hard.

I have now begun to backtrack in my mind in an attempt to deal with this problem, again; and I find myself thinking that this is not the first time she has cropped up - it has definitely been an on-going phenomenon! I have been experiencing vivid emotional dreams [some sexual, some forgiving, some getting together] featuring her at least a few times a year the whole time. And thinking about her every day as far back as I can remember - though there were a few fun drunken weeks during my travels that were free of these thoughts I'm sure.

 

I have seen a few girls over these years, and I have obviously dated a fair bit also. Having formerly convinced myself that I was 'healed', I am now facing up to the fact that I am most definitely not.

I would appreciate someone else's view on this, or similar stories.

 

I apologize for my blunt style of writing. Please don't let this stop you from posting. I am responsive, just a bit lateral.

Edited April 6, 2008 by kalais

[tkgirl]

to me it sounds like you may have some "unfinished business" with this ex-girlfriend... and you might not even be aware of what that is exactly. Maybe you should try to contact her... what's the worst that could happen? it may even bring you some "closure" and you can stop thinking about her so much.

good luck!