Trimmer Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Thanks for the information. I do appreciate that you've chosen to address my humanity, then want to steer the thread back. Controlling, anyone? Heh heh... Yes, you've surely got me pegged, categorized, figured out, and characterized. Tell a guy he's controlling; that will shut him down. But luckily, it works well for both of us: "your opinion about me is meaningless, within the confines of my life." Now when I think about it I really do have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I would never wish for a person to be abused but there is a certain satisfaction in being proven right. Hia attitude is this is what she leaves me for? I told him last night to give up the bitterness and live it up because while she is living with an abuser he is free from her crap and he should enjoy life. At least she pulled this crap before they had any kids. I totally get the idea that he would find validation in the idea that she didn't find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, that her bad choice didn't lead to a satisfying outcome. And I also understand the mixed feelings, because I can understand how the anger and pain could convert to satisfaction that she "got what was coming" to her. I just see a fuzzy dividing line between the humane and the damaged parts of a soul, somewhere between reactions of indifference and actual glee at the prospect of her getting physically beat up.
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Heh heh... Yes, you've surely got me pegged, categorized, figured out, and characterized. Tell a guy he's controlling; that will shut him down. But luckily, it works well for both of us: "your opinion about me is meaningless, within the confines of my life." The interesting part is that I've never given you my opinion of your definition of humanity, and have no interest in controlling your opinion. told him last night to give up the bitterness and live it up because while she is living with an abuser he is free from her crap and he should enjoy life. I forgot to highlight this part as another bright side.
OldEurope Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Other's sit back and consider their course of action, before taking each step, who are able to look back and say, "Hey, this is my life. I like it!". I think there are very few of us here who are getting the impression that you in any way, shape or form like your life.
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I think there are very few of us here who are getting the impression that you in any way, shape or form like your life. You're welcome to think and accuse whatever you want. I do understand that since you're pro-affair, as an OW, my attitudes would greatly offend you. In taking my stance, it appears to invalidate your lifestyle choices and truth be told, yes, my opinion is that once you take the first step towards the slippery slope of entering into an affair or being party to any situation of cheating, regardless of marriage, you have a long way to haul yourself back from deceit.
OldEurope Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Hmmm...people who deserve my style of humanity, are innocents. For example, I fund raise and heavily support the Food Bank. Same for Breast Cancer research. I'm considering doing the same for stem cell research, although I haven't done anything about it, yet. I have lifelong friends who I would do anything for and would do anything for me. I have family who I would die for. Nothing extraordinary. Many of us do our share of these things as well... But I wonder if you do these things out of your sense of "humanity" or a sense of emptiness or guilt or distraction, I am sorry to say. Because you cannot on the one hand take such (repulsive) joy in someone else's physical suffering--getting the "crap beat out of her" I think the poetic description was--and then turn around and say, but Gee! I feed the homeless! I deserve a gold star! Look at me! Someone with such topsy turvey values is compensating for a destroyed inside, a lost self esteem. OE
Phateless Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 You all know my friend who had his wife leave him for another man that she was just so connected and attracted to. Well last night he beat the living crap out of her and my friend is gloating about it. At first I thought he was being cruel but he spent the past 2 years hearing every small flaw of his blwn up and hearing what a horrible husband he is compared to OM who she has this amazing connection to so to him this is karma coming back to bite her. He feels like this is what she wanted so this is what she gets. Sounds like she finally got the reaction she was looking for. He shouldn't have given in and actually hit her. Is she ok?
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Nothing extraordinary. Many of us do our share of these things as well... But I wonder if you do these things out of your sense of "humanity" or a sense of emptiness or guilt or distraction, I am sorry to say. Because you cannot on the one hand take such (repulsive) joy in someone else's physical suffering--getting the "crap beat out of her" I think the poetic description was--and then turn around and say, but Gee! I feed the homeless! I deserve a gold star! Look at me! Someone with such topsy turvey values is compensating for a destroyed inside, a lost self esteem. OE Where someone who enters into an affair with a committed other person has the ability to be appalled by a cheater getting return for their investment, can take the moral stance of "Hey, look at me, I revere humanity but I don't revere anyone else beyond my own selfish needs".
OldEurope Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 You're welcome to think and accuse whatever you want. I do understand that since you're pro-affair, as an OW, my attitudes would greatly offend you. In taking my stance, it appears to invalidate your lifestyle choices and truth be told, yes, my opinion is that once you take the first step towards the slippery slope of entering into an affair or being party to any situation of cheating, regardless of marriage, you have a long way to haul yourself back from deceit. We are married, darling. And living beautifully and happily. And I saved my H's life, really....From someone who, come to think of it, was as embittered as you, and was so well before I ever entered the scene. OE
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 We are married, darling. And living beautifully and happily. And I saved my H's life, really....From someone who, come to think of it, was as embittered as you, and well before I ever entered the scene. OE Wow, a gold star for you, for being willing to settle for a liar and a cheater.
OldEurope Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Where someone who enters into an affair with a committed other person has the ability to be appalled by a cheater getting return for their investment, can take the moral stance of "Hey, look at me, I revere humanity but I don't revere anyone else beyond my own selfish needs". You are being called on this thread for having literally cheered the fact that a woman was pulverized by a man with whom she had an affair. The resulting criticisms against your response are not about your stance on the OM/affair part of it, but your glee that she was so beat up. I don't care what the circumstances are, no one ever should be physically abused by another human being. You are thrilled, it seems, to take some kind of vicarious pleasure in her suffering. It is sick. OE
Trialbyfire Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 You are being called on this thread for having literally cheered the fact that a woman was pulverized by a man with whom she had an affair. The resulting criticisms against your response are not about your stance on the OM/affair part of it, but your glee that she was so beat up. I don't care what the circumstances are, no one ever should be physically abused by another human being. You are thrilled, it seems, to take some kind of vicarious pleasure in her suffering. It is sick. OE I find people who are willing to get involved in affairs...sick. In being selfish, sometimes there are consequences to actions. In taking any course of action in your life, you have to be prepared to take those consequences and do something about your life.
Stockalone Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 When you think about it though his wife wanted some drama and excitment and she got it. She cheated on him and also had to rub it in for two years. He didn't abuse her, it was the other guy that beat her up. I am sure he had vengeful feelings towards her but he showed compassion by not acting on them. Something that can't be said for the wife when she cheated. Unless he wants to be a better person than Mother Teresa, then no, there is nothing wrong with a bit of Schadenfreude as long as he isn't contacting his ex to tell her "I told you so". That would be uncalled for but if he feels that she had it coming and considers it poetic justice, there is nothing wrong with that.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I find people who are willing to get involved in affairs...sick. In being selfish, sometimes there are consequences to actions. In taking any course of action in your life, you have to be prepared to take those consequences and do something about your life. I find people who support the physical abuse of another human being to be sick. I will keep my cheating whore of a mother any day over being that disturbed.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I find people who support the physical abuse of another human being to be sick. I will keep my cheating whore of a mother any day over being that disturbed. I find people who support cheating whores, victims of the cycle of abuse by loving their abusers.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I find people who support cheating whores, victims of the cycle of abuse by loving their abusers. :lmao: Too funny.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 :lmao: Too funny. darlin_coco, something tells me there's more involved here. You know I'm not your father, who chose to reject you, since you strongly reminded him of your mother, in both looks and mannerisms.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 darlin_coco, something tells me there's more involved here. You know I'm not your father, who chose to reject you, since you strongly reminded him of your mother, in both looks and mannerisms. Wow really getting personal. Have you always been this bitter and sad or is it just coming through recently?
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Wow really getting personal. Have you always been this bitter and sad or is it just coming through recently? I'm giving you my observations, exactly like you're giving me yours.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I'm giving you my observations, exactly like you're giving me yours. You're not giving me your observations, you're just repeating what I myself said in my own threads
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 You're not giving me your observations, you're just repeating what I myself said in my own threads It's application of information towards a specific situation.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 It's application of information towards a specific situation. Fair enough. My baby brother died, would you like to comment on that and it's affect on my parents marriage and me as I am today? I am just dying to know, of course.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Fair enough. My baby brother died, would you like to comment on that and it's affect on my parents marriage and me as I am today? I am just dying to know, of course. Why not start a new thread with more details? Once you do so, I would be more than happy to review the information and provide my comments.
Citizen Erased Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Why not start a new thread with more details? Once you do so, I would be more than happy to review the information and provide my comments. Review the information? It's not an essay on what started World War I Anyway, I think we had best give Woggle his thread back or Tony will close it.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Review the information? It's not an essay on what started World War I Anyway, I think we had best give Woggle his thread back or Tony will close it. Don't you review information, previous to providing comments? It's something I find worthwhile. I do agree. Woggle needs his thread back. My apologies to Woggle.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 I think to some extent were all indifferent to violence until it really hits us were it hurts most until us or the ones ones we love are getting the **** beet out of them. NO ONE DESERVES to be abused and battered and no one can fully see what goes on behind closed doors. People are funny creatures many tend to gravitate toward the same kind of relationships and partners good or bad over and over again. Just something to think about before condemning this women who truly knows why she did what she did. Even if she did leave him for no reason other then she wanted a change she still didn't deserve to have the **** beaten out of her. I agree the fact he would happily gloat about it maybe speaks about his true nature a bit. Its one thing to think it for a min to your self its a hole other ball game to be openly gleeful about it shame on him. I hope for his own good he can some day remove that huge ugly chip off his shoulder and move on with his life.
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