loveralone Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I've lost count of how long it's been...maybe 8 weeks? Here's the (VERY) short version of the story: Together for over 2 years, very in love, broke up because he did something stupid, he started dating less than a week after we broke up, I found out he's dating one of my "friends" but neither of them seem to see anything wrong with it, I continued to be friends with him because I still love and care about him greatly, I found out this past week that "somebody" created a profile on an "I live with Genital Herpes" website using my name ("somebody" is most likely the beast he's been dating) so I called him on it, and we ended up getting in a HUGE fight when he defended her to me. He said some horrible things to me, said I'm a self depricating b**ch who did this to myself, said that I deserved to get beat by my ex fiance....I mean, REALLY horrible things. I'm so hurt and heartbroken right now. I'm depressed, I can't eat, I can't sleep but I don't want to get out of bed, I haven't stopped crying all morning....I HATE that i still love him! I HATE that these things have taken such a toll on me! how do i make it all just go away....i don't want to hurt anymore! i'm just so sad right now.
justagirlforever Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Sorry to hear that you're going through such hurt and confusion. But why exactly did you break up? You said you broke up with him, right?
iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 It sucks when your love is not reciprocated, it really sucks and hurts.. i'm sorry for your pain, i am in a similar situation.. it all boils down to the fact that our ex's don't love us.. and man it really really hurts.. I've spent the day crying down at my mums house, crying and thinking.. and i have not found a solution to getting over heart ache.. the only way is to stop any form of contact, let them think that you no longer exist.. and my plan is to take one day at a time, accept the sadness.. and one day i will forget.. and when that day comes... P.A.R.T.Y!! so i suggest you do the same.. One day at a time.. come on here and post, but do not, i repeat do not contact him! it makes you feel worse!!
Issues & tissues Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Loveralone, This is going to sound harsh but he doesn't sound like much of friend to me. Friendship has to come from both sides in order for it to work. Right now, you need to go NC - no contact - no emailing, no calling, no texting, nothing, zilch, nano, zip. By contacting him you are just exposing yourself to more pain. Be strong. Be brave. Do NC for YOU and keep posting here.
shockandawed Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I've lost count of how long it's been...maybe 8 weeks? Here's the (VERY) short version of the story: Together for over 2 years, very in love, broke up because he did something stupid, he started dating less than a week after we broke up, I found out he's dating one of my "friends" but neither of them seem to see anything wrong with it, I continued to be friends with him because I still love and care about him greatly, I found out this past week that "somebody" created a profile on an "I live with Genital Herpes" website using my name ("somebody" is most likely the beast he's been dating) so I called him on it, and we ended up getting in a HUGE fight when he defended her to me. He said some horrible things to me, said I'm a self depricating b**ch who did this to myself, said that I deserved to get beat by my ex fiance....I mean, REALLY horrible things. I'm so hurt and heartbroken right now. I'm depressed, I can't eat, I can't sleep but I don't want to get out of bed, I haven't stopped crying all morning....I HATE that i still love him! I HATE that these things have taken such a toll on me! how do i make it all just go away....i don't want to hurt anymore! i'm just so sad right now. I am so sorry you are going through this, I know full well, as do many on here, the pain and heartbreak you are dealing with. Unfortunately, the pain doesn't disappear overnight. True healing is a slow process, but if done properly, can leave you stronger and better than before. As others have mentioned, first thing you have to do is go into complete NO CONTACT!!! No emails, texts, phone calls, checking up with friends, looking at myspace pages, NOTHING!!!!!! I know this is very difficult but you have to trust why this advise is literally pasted over and over all over these threads. There is no contact you can have with either him or your former friend that will not leave you hurting and confused. Even positive interaction will leave you wondering if he wanted to get back, etc..Trust me, I know. I tried limited contact, and never even got close to starting to heal until I finally went into complete NC. It has been 8 weeks, and your boyfriend immediately went into another relationship. Honestly, you have to accept that too much has happened to ever get back together. Once you have fully accepted that there is no going back, the NC will get easier and you will start healing. Things can never go back to the way they were. You will never fully trust him, you will always wonder what happened with the friend, etc....Letting go is truly the first step. One particular thing I did was to allow myself to rant. I would literally walk around my house (obviously when no one was here) and just scream at myself and rant. Rant about what a piece of crap she was, why I was stupid to ever stay with her, on and on.. it really helped me feel better. Eventually, all those things I would say began to stick in my head, I truly began to believe I was so much better off without her. My guess is your ex grabbed your friend to try to hurt you. The fact he lashed out at you with hurtful words confirms he only wishes to cause you pain. You don't need that and deserve so much better. Please, start with absolutely No Contact. You will take the power away from him by doing that. Best of luck and keep posting.
Author loveralone Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Thanks, guys....Seriously, I re-read what I wrote, and it really sounds like we're a bunch of highschoolers or something. I can't believe how immature and juvenile this has all been. There's so much emotional "stuff" that goes along with this ex (the biggest being this month is the one year mark since we lost our baby....) and I feel like I'm about to lose the last bit of composure I thought I had left. After the big fight on Friday, we both decided NC is best. He's (finally) bringing me my belongings and taking his tomorrow evening, which is why I think I'm having such a hard time. It's the finality of it all, and I just wasn't ready for "us" to be over. He's not being a "good guy" right now, and I feel like that should make this all easier, but it's not! It's made it so much more difficult.... Even though he's not being a good guy right now, he's still been my best friend, and so much more, for the past 2 years, and I miss him like I've never missed anyone before! I found out on Saturday that my mom was in the ER (she thought she was having a heart attack) and may have to have open heart surgery....I sat there and just cried and cried by myself because I didn't have anyone around to talk to, and I knew I couldn't call my "best friend" anymore.... This just plain sucks.
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