Gold Pile Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I've been watching the new lady that moved in across from me a couple of weeks ago. Nothing crazy, just making good use of the ol telescope. She's probably late 40's. She's alone during the week but has had several girlfriends over on the last two weekends. Saturday was a spectacular day in the weather dept!, windows were open and I could hear the 5 ladies (aged 35-50?) laughing. I scoped they were drinking plenty of beer. I didn't want to scare her off so I played my game for laughs (non threatening). I wore sunglasses, shorts, a loud T-shirt, socks, and dress shoes. I grabbed a large wooden bowl and spoon. I rang her doorbell. One of her friends (turned out to be her sister, about 38) opened the door. I held up my bowl and said "Somethin smells gooooood!" She burst out laughing and invited me in. Inside I faced the rest of the crew and gave them a "Somethin smells goooood!" Everyone laughed except the owner. I told her I was GP from across the way, and that I came over because "Somethin smells gooood!' (I hadn't thought much beyond that line). They all laughed again. In fact...her sister never really stopped laughing since I showed up. One of them finally asked me if I'd like some pizza. The owner looked kind of serious, I told her "a beer sounds goood! too". The usual conversation...who am I, do for a living, where'd I get that scar? I didn't like the owner, but I liked one with long, full, 80% grey hair. Killer body, nice face, I put her at 48. We had a conversation about our shared passion for Exchange Traded Funds. Maybe she seemed interested in me, hard to tell. The sister made a point of sitting between us, she was definitely interested. The sister (named "Ribbon") was bragging about some pizza joint that had better grub. I slipped her my card and asked her to show me the place sometime. Not bad, I'd only been there half an hour. I struck up another conversation with 48 but Ribbon interrupted and asked me to guess how old 48("Monica") was. A rude, insulting move on Ribbon's part. I looked Monica over and said "hmmm, some grey hair, but it's very full and lavish, youthful skin, a firm body" I cupped her butt cheek and said "very firm". She moved away shocked but smiling. Everyone but Ribbon was laughing. I announced she was approx 39. Turns out she's 51. After another half hour of chit chat I excused myself to the bathroom. I didn't like the owner so I squeezed most of her tooth paste down the toilet, threw her wash-cloths out the window, and stole about 3 feet of toilet paper. (more than that looks too bulky in my pocket) Ribbon was hanging near the bathroom when I came out. I tried to smolder and told her to make sure she called me for a pizza date sooon! She teased me about liking older (51) women. I squeezed her butt and said "you feel gooood". She grabbed my hand but held it for a long time. I'm not used to being this successful! I asked her if she liked poetry, she said yes, I said she she should come over to my place...I gotta poem for you". That didn't work too well. Before I left, I managed to get Monica's email. So Ribbon is almost a sure thing. I really hope Monica is doable too.
2sunny Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 at least GP is not "tightly wound" some of us here look forward to his escapades and humor!
Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Me.. I love his posts... I am looking forward to more of his escapades.. he's hilarious..
Tony Posted April 6, 2008 Senior Moderators Posted April 6, 2008 Regrettably, the majority of responses to this post so far have been off topic, banter, inappropriate, inflammatory, argumentative, etc. There's got to be some way people here can be civil and constructive with their responses...and remain on topic. Many thanks!
Trimmer Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 (edited) After another half hour of chit chat I excused myself to the bathroom. I didn't like the owner so I squeezed most of her tooth paste down the toilet, threw her wash-cloths out the window, and stole about 3 feet of toilet paper. (more than that looks too bulky in my pocket) OK, we're going for constructive here, so I suggest that if you shove the toilet paper down the front of your pants, you can probably fit 8 or 10 feet, at least. And it becomes a 2 for 1 deal, because the resulting bulge might help to impress the ladies as well. "Mmmm, how didn't I notice that before???" they'll ask themselves. (And if you're a woman trying to adapt GP's techniques, try sticking it down the back of your pants, going for that "J-Lo booty" look. Heck, you can probably get a whole roll back there...) I don't really have any other constructive advice that would further enhance the awesome success you are already having. Edited April 6, 2008 by Trimmer
sb129 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I like GPs threads, as I said earlier! I would like to see a movie version of this OP, could you take your videocamera along next time please GP? Ribbon definitely sounds like a dead cert, but be careful that she doesn't find out about Monika if you hook up with her too... I am sure you will keep us posted on developments, and I look forward to reading about them.
Author Gold Pile Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Regrettably, the majority of responses to this post so far have been off topic, banter, inappropriate, inflammatory, argumentative, etc. There's got to be some way people here can be civil and constructive with their responses...and remain on topic. Many thanks! Hmmm, I must have missed the bad responses. Thanks for deleting them and sorry the post upset some.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I'm pretty new to this site, but I hope to hear more stories! That was hilarious. Too bad some people have to be so judgmental.
HeavenScent Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 GP is hilarious!! I enjoy his posts.... some people take things way too seriously!!! Lighten up, people!
Legend Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 one of these days maybe he'll blog so we can see all his adventures in one area
thehappycynic Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 OK, we're going for constructive here, so I suggest that if you shove the toilet paper down the front of your pants, you can probably fit 8 or 10 feet, at least. And it becomes a 2 for 1 deal, because the resulting bulge might help to impress the ladies as well. "Mmmm, how didn't I notice that before???" they'll ask themselves. (And if you're a woman trying to adapt GP's techniques, try sticking it down the back of your pants, going for that "J-Lo booty" look. Heck, you can probably get a whole roll back there...) I don't really have any other constructive advice that would further enhance the awesome success you are already having. Hilarious! You made me laugh out loud.
GPFan Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Hi Gold Pile! I used to come here way-back-when guests could reply to posts. Now that there is no guest posting, I decided to register just to respond to your posts! I didn't want to scare her off so I played my game for laughs (non threatening). I wore sunglasses, shorts, a loud T-shirt, socks, and dress shoes. I grabbed a large wooden bowl and spoon. I rang her doorbell. One of her friends (turned out to be her sister, about 38) opened the door. I held up my bowl and said "Somethin smells gooooood!" She burst out laughing and invited me in. This was a good move. The sister (named "Ribbon") was bragging about some pizza joint that had better grub. I slipped her my card and asked her to show me the place sometime. Not bad, I'd only been there half an hour. Agreed, not bad. I struck up another conversation with 48 but Ribbon interrupted and asked me to guess how old 48("Monica") was. A rude, insulting move on Ribbon's part. I looked Monica over and said "hmmm, some grey hair, but it's very full and lavish, youthful skin, a firm body" I cupped her butt cheek and said "very firm". She moved away shocked but smiling. Everyone but Ribbon was laughing. I announced she was approx 39. Turns out she's 51. This might have been a good move until you touched the lady in question. Not such a good move! Try to avoid this in the future. After another half hour of chit chat I excused myself to the bathroom. I didn't like the owner so I squeezed most of her tooth paste down the toilet, threw her wash-cloths out the window, and stole about 3 feet of toilet paper. (more than that looks too bulky in my pocket) Ribbon was hanging near the bathroom when I came out. I tried to smolder and told her to make sure she called me for a pizza date sooon! She teased me about liking older (51) women. I squeezed her butt and said "you feel gooood". She grabbed my hand but held it for a long time. I'm not used to being this successful! I asked her if she liked poetry, she said yes, I said she she should come over to my place...I gotta poem for you". That didn't work too well. OK, you were doing pretty well up until this point in time. Stealing toilet paper, toothpaste down the crapper and throwing out cloths???? C'mon! Again with the squeezing, not a good idea! Before I left, I managed to get Monica's email. So Ribbon is almost a sure thing. I really hope Monica is doable too. Good luck and I hope you are successful!
GPFan Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 One more thing... Whatever happened to the pup you spit on? Did you adopt him/her? I do hope so! The nun is most assuredly over all the 'nunsense' you two got into but I do worry about the pup. Please tell me you adopted the pup!
Author Gold Pile Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Now people will think gpfan is me. The dog? who knows? that was quite a day for me, I'm terrible at posting links to old posts. Maybe a fan can find it. Thanks to all that have posted positive replies. I just sent Monica an email, it was basically a "nice to meet you" message. I also asked for opinion on a certain stock. Hope I get a reply. As far as the butt touching.... I should make it clear that everyone was drunk and the conversation was very sexual. Very sexual by the ladies, not so much by me. It just seemed ok to try it. It's not my usual MO to touch new people so soon.
HeavenScent Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 You have a fan... how nice. Butt touching... I don't think that would work when people are sober.
Author Gold Pile Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 I rcvd a response to my email to Monica. She said I was real riot and hopes to see me again at her friend's place sometime. She claims her friend "Chilena" (the home owner) actually did kind of like me...not at first but I grew on her and she said nice things about me after I left. Now I feel bad about tossing her washcloths out the window.
OpenBook Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 GoldPile, you got off easy. If you keep up with that butt-cupping stuff, some fit lass eventually is going to haul off and deck you. And she'll probably be the one you end up marrying.
Author Gold Pile Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 GoldPile, you got off easy. If you keep up with that butt-cupping stuff, some fit lass eventually is going to haul off and deck you. And she'll probably be the one you end up marrying.:lmao: The ladies were talking raunchy, the butt stuff is unusual for me this early, but it just seemed right.
Trimmer Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 GoldPile, you got off easy. If you keep up with that butt-cupping stuff, some fit lass eventually is going to haul off and deck you. Given Gold Pile's apparent facility with the ladies in these kinds of situations, I'm willing to throw a bit of the benefit of the doubt his way, and imagine that he made an instinctive judgment call that probably worked in the context of the evening, the people, and the blood-alcohol levels involved.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 8, 2008 Posted April 8, 2008 Gold Pile...are you a pilot? Just wondering. Sounds familiar.
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