Flbryan Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I dated my girlfriend for 4 years,we broke up about a month and a half ago. She left me because i wasnt romantic, or affectionnate enough. I have made a bunch of mistakes since we broke up. I call her all the time and tell her how much i miss her and ask for another chance. I recently found out that she likes another guy and its so hard because we were together for so long and now 2 months after shes all ready talking to another guy. DO you guys think i have a chance in the future, what do i need to do to get my girl back. Someone please help me i cant stop thinking about her its hurts so freaking bad.
youngbuckkk Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I dated my girlfriend for 4 years,we broke up about a month and a half ago. She left me because i wasnt romantic, or affectionnate enough. I have made a bunch of mistakes since we broke up. I call her all the time and tell her how much i miss her and ask for another chance. I recently found out that she likes another guy and its so hard because we were together for so long and now 2 months after shes all ready talking to another guy. DO you guys think i have a chance in the future, what do i need to do to get my girl back. Someone please help me i cant stop thinking about her its hurts so freaking bad. I know it sucks for you right now, but the first thing you need to do is accept that she is gone and most likley isn't coming back, and it may end up being for the best. The girl left you and now has interest in another, so by trying to win her back now all you will be doing is helping her detact from you emotionally faster while she is progressing with newguy. You need to be a ghost to her, go total no contact, and even though there may be a slight chance of her coming back, chances are it's over. Start adjusting, live your life, date other women because there are plenty out there. She comes back great, if not you will find better.
justaman99 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 She'll come back only if the other dude dumps her or treats her like ****. It's typical. You're now a plan B. B stands for backup. Don't say anything to her or contact her.
Kman21 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yea I am in the same situation also, except that we have been together for two years. NC would be best, let her see for herself how life is without you. Justinman is it really typical?
ANGUISHEDandBROKEN Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 You cant get her back... Plain and simple. And if you do you have a 99.99% chance it wont work. You´re in pain, I´m in pain, many people around the world are in pain! Forget her for now...its impossible, I know....but just move on....you´ll feel better in a couple of months...sorry...
iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yep, she's gone now.. i'm in the same boat, i had a chance to get back with my ex recently.. but i blew it.. well i stood up for myself a bit is all, and called her out on her lies.. she didn't like it and said we are just incompatible.. oh and also said she didn't love me.. which was nice, but honest i guess.. the main point is i tried to change for her and she didn't bother changing anything for me, just kept being secretive and cold towards me.. it all adds up that once they break, their minds are made up, you can get them back, but after you've begged and pleaded for a bit, they will lose respect for you and when they do give you that ellusive chance, you just have to be too nice all the time and can't stand up for yourself wheras they can just be cold and act however they choose.. and as much as i loved her and wanted to be with her, i have feelings too.. and she just didn't apprecitate them.. So good luck pal, do what i'm trying to do.. just move on now, it's been two months and well there are other girls out there.. (i know they're not the same) but it's not worth being miserable all the time for someone who just doesn't love you..
Author Flbryan Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I guess you guys are right, even if i did get back with her it would feel so weird just because she was with another man, It sucks, how could someone you loved for 4 years and loved you like another man after only 2 months of being apart. Im gonna go NC and maybe she will start missing me and comparing the guy to me and realize she wants me back!
iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I guess you guys are right, even if i did get back with her it would feel so weird just because she was with another man, It sucks, how could someone you loved for 4 years and loved you like another man after only 2 months of being apart. Im gonna go NC and maybe she will start missing me and comparing the guy to me and realize she wants me back! Do it, NC is the way to go.. maybe she will do those things, but in the meantime be strong and look after yourself.. i want to contact mine even now, but it goes nowhere.. just falls on deaf ears.. so both of us go NC and try to be happy by ourselves, and maybe meet someone who wants to be with us..
MoonlightLover Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I'm afraid sweetie, it sounds as though she's made her decision and knows her mind. In that case there's no changing it no matter how many times you ring her and tell her you miss her and think the world of her. Break ups hurt, they also make you do crazy things, think crazy things...because you're hurting. You need to stop, put your world on pause for a moment. You're chasing someone who doesnt want to be with you...if she doesnt want you then she is definatly NOT good enough for you. When people want out of a relationship they will throw in allsorts of reasons to end it and more times than often the reasons they use arent the real reasons. Did you ever stop to think maybe she has issues, maybe you gave her all you could but she's that selfish it wasnt enough in her eyes and wanted to be the object of ALL your attention and affection? Or maybe, this was just a reason to break up she made up,....but really what does it matter....get your bad ass self together put your glad rags out and go on the pull. You might find someone worth chasing, infact you will find someone worth chasing.
milena35 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Maybe this is what you guys need a break to see how things would be with out each other. If its meant to be she will be back if not you need to go on and concentrate on yourself. Sometimes they think the grass is greener on the other side and then they get a wake up call and realize what did I do. I know its hard starting all over not like we have to much out there to find, from a lot of people that are on the dating scene its not easy to find someone that you would click right away. Do your thing, get involved with things that will keep your mind off and let time take its course. Keep me updated. Milena
0hpenelope Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Negative thoughts attract negative energy. Positive thoughts attract positive energy. Focus on yourself first. She'll be fine. Something didn't work and that's why things ended. So something's got to change. You've got to move on first without her.
wonderinwhatsup Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 dude you've got your answer. NC is great. You don't have to hear her say hurtful things, and plus it will make her realize what she is losing. NC will do one of two things. It will either bring her back because she misses you or it will put you on the path to recovery. It really is the only option if you do ever want to get her back.
Author Flbryan Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I have yet another problem, We are both suppose to go to t a mutual friends wedding together, I dont think i can go with her, not only that but it would be breaking NC, but i cant just not go what should i do. I updated my facebook today because i got a job and she asked me where i got the job but i didnt message her back nor am i, It hurts but i have to go NC.
vivrantflo Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Please take her off your Facebook. By you receiving updates on her life/relationship and vice versa... thats breaking NC... Its also a reliable form of self torture... U wanna see pictures of the new guy holding your ex?? No, you wouldnt. I'm gonna tell you though, listen to everyone when they say NC. If you guys are meant to be, you two will hook up again. But don't count on it. As painful and harsh as it is, once a woman starts banging another dude, she's done with the ex she dumped.. try to move on bro. And please, take her off your Facebook.
dmb05 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Same thing just happened to me. 2.5 year relationship then she basically dumps me and is with her new guy in 2 weeks. She's already saying she's in love with him and she's never been happier. I doubt they last, but I'm accepting that it's over and she will realize what she lost one day. I was VERY good to her and she just threw it away. Def. take her off facebook/myspace. Helped me a lot!
timmay Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 wow this is crazy but im in the same situation as you. I have been with this girl for 5 and a half years and i broke up with her. She says she loves me but is not in love with me and now she is dating her ex boss from work. Dude trained her and is 7 years older then her and he had been hitting on my ex the whole time we where togeather. She is having sex with him after only 3 dates which pisses me off. She has been calling me recently and we get into these dumb argurements because she thinks that im full of ****. I have changed a lot in the past month and a half we are apart and she doenst want to believe my changes. her mom even is trying to kinda help us get back togeather because her mom knows how good of a guy i am. I am like family to her mom and she is like family to me. From what iv figured out wich aint much but you gotta act like your happy with out her even if you are not happy. Put on a front because most likley she is doing the same or she is confused. I know my ex is just plain confused, i was her first and she was mine. been togeather since high school. If you guys were truly in love she will come back. Remember guys its the girl that chooses her m8 not the other way around. Girls play these games which are lame even if they dont know it. I wish all the best
wonderinwhatsup Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 quick question on the facebook thing.. i was friend's with my ex's new bf before i met her. i hav removd my ex from facebook but i still receive updates about him. We're not really close, but I do like the appearance of me being "a better man" and keeping him as a friend, not looking petty. however i must admit that i have used that access to see some things about the two of them i wish i had not seen. what do you guys think i should do?
Author Flbryan Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Timmay, i know how ya feel man, i was her first and she was mine also, maybe they just think the grass is greener on the other side and will hopefully realize it isnt and come back. I dont wanna bet on it though so if it dosnt happen i wont be as hurt. I guess im just gonna give her time and do NC WONDERINWHATSUP,man i think you have to delete him too, I deleted my ex off my facebook today. It still kinda sucks because i can still see her page because were in the same networks but atleast i cant see when she updates.
vivrantflo Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Timmay, you got it. Right on point. Wonderinwhatsup, delete the guy too.. what's the point of having him on there?? Delete and block them both. You dont want to see THEM, and you dont want THEM to see you! Flbryan, what is the point of deleting her, if you're still looking at her page?? Block her, so that you can't see what she's doing, and vice versa. People, NC is about YOU and YOUR healing! Blocking them on msn/facebook isn't sentencing them to death. It's an online website for goodness sakes.. Delete them all!! If that is what it's going to take to help you guys heal then do it! If they want you back, they're NOT gonna use Facebook to get in touch with you! Block and Delete!!
Cannondale Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Same thing just happened to me. 2.5 year relationship then she basically dumps me and is with her new guy in 2 weeks. She's already saying she's in love with him and she's never been happier. I doubt they last, but I'm accepting that it's over and she will realize what she lost one day. I was VERY good to her and she just threw it away. Def. take her off facebook/myspace. Helped me a lot! Dude, my ex did the exact same thing. What I came to realize is that she is a very immature, selfish and imo screwed up girl who has the baggage of a 747, and in the end really has no idea what love is and is totally dependant on her current bf for her "happiness". The best thing you can do, as it has been said before is go NC. Trust me, talking to her will only bring pain, pretend like she doesn't exsist pretty much. If you do this, you WILL eventually realize what I did, that she's not the one for you and that your really so much better off without her. G'Luck man, you'll be just fine!
MalachiX Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Fibrayan, I'm another one who feels like he's in the same boat as you. 2.5 year relationship, long distance for the last year, feel VERY bad about it. About a week ago, my EX's facebook said she's back with her old boyfriend before me (the supposedly gay one who lives even further away than I do!). I took it bad, had a total panic attack, then made out with some random girl at a bar to feel good about myself. I've been trying to deal with a lot of guilt at not being there for my EX and not making her happy ever since, as well as the thought that I'll never get her back now. HOWEVER, something kind of cool happened two nights ago that totally made feel a bit better. I went down to the actor's cafe and ran into a guy I'd met there previously (he's actually the chef). He asked if I'd be interested in doing a scene from The Devil's Advocate with him this Thursday and, even though I HATE performing on a stage, I said yes (largely because I love that film so much). It occured to me shortly after that, had I still been with my EX, I NEVER would have given this a shot. Not only would I have turned it down (because she didn't think much of me acting) but I never would have had the chance because I wouldn't have gone to the cafe and stayed out so late, knowing she'd want me to call her and talk for at least and hour before she went to sleep. I'm not saying I resent any of the attention I gave her and I'm not saying I still probably wasn't a jerk and not there for her enough (though I REALLY tried to be). I'm just realizing that, to some extent, I wasn't able to explore certain things about myself and take risks because I was with her. This may be the first time I've suprised myself in a good way in a while. Maybe you'll start to find some posititves to being single that you don't see.
Author Flbryan Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 Vicrantflo,i took your advice, i had NC for like 2 days and today she contacted me, i got peppersprayed in the police academy and she knew it was today so she asked how it was. I couldnt ignore her so i talked to her a bit, i asked her to block me from her facebook so i couldnt see it. I told her i wanted to see her in person to say goodbye, We went to the river talked for about an hour about how us breaking up has made me reaize alot about myself and what i wanted, Then we danced to our song and i brought her home. I asked her not to call me or im me. She said if she had anything important to tell me shed e-mail me. THen we kissed and said goodbye. I feel good because now i have left on a good foot and when she thinks about me it will be good. Im not gonna call her but i will see her in 3 weeks at a wedding, I told her im not gonna go with her but im still going. Im gonna try and not talk to her untill then and hopefully she will miss me. I guess we will see.
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