SS49 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 What I gather from this entire exchange is that you're trying to find some hard and fast rules on dating. Trying to find some guild lines to weed out potential incompatibilities. Well guess what there are none! The only way to find out if someone is worth knowing is to know them. Everyone is different, every situation is different, and every persons perceptions are different. I can guarantee you that what some people might see as obvious comes across as subtle or non-existent to others, and visa versa. Sometimes people don't read as much into somethings as they should or alternatively some read way too much into something minor. In the end the only way to know something for sure is to come right out and ask.... and sadly even then some people will lie to you. Also some people that you think are 'perfect' at first might turn out to be real duds, while others that you bypass because of some small imperfection might be exactly what you're looking for. So I suggest you stop looking for shortcuts, man up and live life.
Author TheFonz Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 What I gather from this entire exchange is that you're trying to find some hard and fast rules on dating. Trying to find some guild lines to weed out potential incompatibilities. Well guess what there are none! The only way to find out if someone is worth knowing is to know them. Everyone is different, every situation is different, and every persons perceptions are different. I can guarantee you that what some people might see as obvious comes across as subtle or non-existent to others, and visa versa. Sometimes people don't read as much into somethings as they should or alternatively some read way too much into something minor. In the end the only way to know something for sure is to come right out and ask.... and sadly even then some people will lie to you. Also some people that you think are 'perfect' at first might turn out to be real duds, while others that you bypass because of some small imperfection might be exactly what you're looking for. So I suggest you stop looking for shortcuts, man up and live life. Yes but your implying that it is impossible to quantify how to be more successful and efficient in dating. You also are assuming that when I asked questions like these that it's for my own consumption. While I don't have all the answer to everything, it was for the sake of discussion and it might find answers for others with similar questions.
thehappycynic Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 OP, stick to your attraction style and ignore any signs of game playing. Set your mental limit and absorb all games within that limit. When limit is reached, leave. You can't change the style/personality of the person you're with, only yourself. It sure saves on a lot of anger You know Carhill, the more I read your posts, the more I like you.
FormerNiceGuy Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 (edited) A lot of times, probably almost all the time, a woman will send mixed messages. I don't think I need to give examples as everyone knows and has sen them. When a woman gives me mixed messages, I generally conclude that she's not that interested and/or she's playing games. Isn't this true? So when I get mixed messages I respond with mixed messages. But if the girl is playing mixed messages games, then it seems like she'll conclude that she hasn't played enough mixd messages and will increase her mixed messages and I in turn increase mine. Eventually this can escalate to critical mass and the whole ineraction explodes and the interaction doesn't have a positive ending. There's girls that like you. There's girls that like you but are shy. And there's "sunshine girls" A "sunshine girl" is a girl that seems to like you..but then you realize that she acts like that with every guy. In other words, she' giving you all the signs that she likes you, but she's just toying with you. So how do you find out if a girl is interested. Don't try to overanalyze, hypothesize. Just make a move! You'll know. You just do it because you want to! It’s as simple as that! It doesn't matter if she is interested or if she hates you. You do it BECAUSE you want her. It is only YOUR interest that matters. Forget reading females - you'll never be able to do it! Stop wondering, "Does she like me?” “She did this and she did that, that must mean this, that must mean that!” Shut up! Do you like her? No? Then look at somebody else that you are interested in. Yes? Then say “Hi” and ask for her name. If you don't do this, everything here is pointless. This is the first step to take. Focus on your interests, your desires, WHAT YOU WANT. Forget about anything else! YOU are here for yourself right? If someone will get hurt, YOU will be the one in pain, not your friend, your girl or that stranger on the corner! So do yourself a favor, literally and help yourself. If you want her, go for her! Go at her like you've never done before! Whenever you find yourself spending up to 5 minutes trying to "figure out" what a woman is thinking-----KNOW that you've just spent 4 minutes TOO LONG.So with that in mind..how do you get rid of sunshine girls. Put her in a position where she has no choice. She either has to stop playing the games and let you know..Hey I'm not interested. Or..."I'm down!" Fonz, you know the game..so just put her in a position where she leaves you NO confusion. Strike! Whenever a girl does this to me, I put her in a position where she either has to "shoot me down" or "it's on!". More often than not..you'll find that a girl will admire your confidence..and if she's interested, you'll know. Edited April 6, 2008 by FormerNiceGuy
carhill Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 You know Carhill, the more I read your posts, the more I like you. LOL, no, you like our psychologist. I'm one of those men who actually has enjoyed and learned a lot from MC, even though I have had my moments of confusion and anger. It's like a whole new world has opened up. I get it now
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