iwish Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Well we had it and it was doomed.. We had a massive argument because she lied to me, and i called her out on it.. she didn't like that and we went home early.. I asked her about her flat mate and she got all defensive, and i was like.. look it's no big deal if you're smoking with him or drinking with him, but she says she hardly ever sees him and actually dislikes him (that is so untrue and i KNOW this)... so we've seperated again, she accused me of being nasty (i called her a liar) and we both cried on the way home, she was saying how she really wanted it to work between us and was now really upset that I had ruined it.. Now, the problem i have with that is that, she never once showed that she wanted to be with me... not once.. and then when it's too late she decides to say that she did want to be with me.. i was confused and angry and just cried.. i cried a lot.. and i can't keep crying.. i am so in a world of pain right now, and i feel absolutely worthless, so worthless.. i am nothing again, just a miserable wreck with no hope of reconciliation with her again and i'm gutted.
sedgwick Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Where in any of this did anyone give you a reason to feel worthless? In your relaying of the story, I see nothing you did which would indicate that you were without worth.
Author iwish Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 I'm just feeling sorry for myself Sedgwick, i loved her.. but at the end of the day, she just didn't love me.. and i realise that now.. and i'm gutted, she was so special to me.. so so special, but i couldn't control my anger over her lies.. But then i don't want someone i love to lie to me, and i also want someone i love to actually say they love me too.. is that too much to ask?
youngbuckkk Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you've brought most of this on yourself by continuing your pursuit of this woman. You've said it yourself in this post, she doesn't love you. You can't make her change her feelings. Good thing is, now maybe you will begin to live your life for you and begin to get over her. Life goes on, noone has ever died of a broken heart. You keep dodging all my advice when i'm the one who calls every single thing that has happened. Maybe it's time you listen to youngbuck for once.
Author iwish Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 i pursued because i believed that she might love me.. i couldn't make her change her feelings i see that now.. yes now it's time for me to move on and forget her, she is so beautiful you wouldn't believe, but beauty isn't everything... i need more than that, i need to feel the love.. NC begins.. i hope i can handle it..
youngbuckkk Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 i pursued because i believed that she might love me.. i couldn't make her change her feelings i see that now.. yes now it's time for me to move on and forget her, she is so beautiful you wouldn't believe, but beauty isn't everything... i need more than that, i need to feel the love.. NC begins.. i hope i can handle it.. Don't even question whether or not you can handle it. People have delt with far greater troubles in life. People lose loved ones everday and won't ever get the chance to see them again. It's life, it has ups and it has downs. It's our reactions to these situations that define us all. The longer you keep doubting yourself the longer you will feel like crap.
Author iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Don't even question whether or not you can handle it. People have delt with far greater troubles in life. People lose loved ones everday and won't ever get the chance to see them again. It's life, it has ups and it has downs. It's our reactions to these situations that define us all. The longer you keep doubting yourself the longer you will feel like crap. Yes i appreciate that people have dealt with bigger woes.. but right at this moment all hope is gone and guess what i can't sleep! I feel like it's all my fault for calling her out for lying, for starting the argument.. but i have to try and remember the route of the problem.. she didn't love or respect me and she didn't want to be with me.. i have to remember that, because it makes it a bit easier to cope.. all i wanted was to be loved/wanted.. and well i wasn't, that sucks!
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 How can you beat up on yourself like this, over a liar? So now she's made you feel awful for calling on her lies? WAAAAAHHHHH, poor little, misunderstood girl... Forget how beautiful she is on the outside, because inside, she's a cesspit. She uses her beauty like a weapon, to avoid responsibility for her own actions. Don't enable this kind of behaviour. NC is best. Move on. Everyone deserves to be treated with honesty and respect.
Author iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I try to be angry, i try to think about all the bad **** she did.. Her ex showed up one day and showed me a text she sent him the morning after we slept together (about 6 months into our relationship) it said she dreamt of him and missed himx we broke up and she begged for another chance.. said it wouldn't happen again... few months later she was going to a concert on her 'own' i'm like really, turned out she was going to go with him.. she didn't in the end.. then there's the flat mate, she says he's nothing to her, that she doesn't even talk to him most of the time.. i know that's a lie! but i can't confront her with it as i shouldn't know.. I don't know, i only know that i'm hurting, i thought that maybe we could get back together, and i tried.. but i just don't trust her and that's why i blew up yesterday... it was a silly argument but it ended again and well.. she just lies to me too much and isn't honest about her own floors.. I tried to change, but she didn't, she just kept being the same old person, sly and untrustworthy.. so why do i still, even now want to contact her and be with her? am i mad?
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Right now, yes, you're mad. You're allowing her to lead you around like a bull by its nose-ring, where you should be pulling back emotionally and flipping her over your head, and letting her fall off the end of your arse, where she belongs. Don't forget to turn around and stomp on her about a dozen times or so. She's sucked all your self-esteem and pride out of you. Are you going to allow this to happen? Come on, man, you can pull yourself together. This is a helluva' lot of wasted emotion over someone who's a liar and a cheater.
Author iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 the last text i sent to her was quite an angry one (i'm hurt).. and i kinda regret it... it more or less said that that's why we broke up (the fact that she had just told me she didn't love me) that i don't think she ever loved me, she would never have texted her ex, she would've lived with me instead of the stoner and you certainly would never have picked weed over me! You're finally sort of honest. Good luck with the next victim.. is that too strong? i feel a little bad that i was so bitter about it.. (but i am!!) am i'm allowed to be hurt when she tells me that she just doesn't love me right now.. aren't i?
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 What you need to do is to suck some power back from her, by taking that hurt and turning it into anger. The girl just ran you in circles, making you believe that she's something worthwhile. She's not. She's nothing but a lowlife liar and cheater. Why would you value someone with such low morals?
Author iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 i sent that yesterday during our break up chat (second time and last).. i don't know i just feel like i tried so hard and she just showed up and was indifferent about it all.. so i guess i can be angry with her now, just leave it at that and move on with my life.. day by day//
Author iwish Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 she just sent a text.. Sorry i just called, i just wanted to say sorry for yesterday, sorry 4 everything really :'(, sorry sorry .. just ignore her right?
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I would respond to that by sending her a link to "Apologize" by OneRepublic, on youtube, with no other text.
Author iwish Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 3 more texts.. Sorry 4 texting again, I've been thinking alot. Also just wanted to say that i take full responsibility for everything, i'm sorry, really so sorry that you had to put up with my crap, i don't know how you did it. u have the patience of a saint. I hope u sleep better 2 nite. x Don't suppose you feel like talking? Wrong i know after i didn't answer. Still thought i'd ask no arguing... Listen. The tables have turned. I'm dying here please just acknowledge my texts. Tell me to leave you alone or whatever. But please.. now guys, i've not responded to her yet.. i feel bad for her i really do.. she ignored me for days! and then just had a go.. Now the tables have kind of turned, but i don't see it as her trying to get me back.. just to clear her consicence.. I don't know what to do.. if i reply she will just hurt me again, and i will cry again.. and i don't want to cry anymore, i really dont.. it hurts everytime she rejects me, it hurts so much.. i'm even crying now! and she's just called.. i didn't answer.. :'( what do i do?
cyabye Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 "What do you do?" Man, DO NUTHIN. Stand by what you told her. You called her out on her lies. It's time to man up. Its GO time. Worrry about you. You know if you contact her it will upset you more. Tell you what. I will come over and beat you with a bat everytime you "feel" you have to call/text her. I bet that "feeling" will get old quick. How much pain do you want? Get angry. You know what you need to do. Hope this helps, cyabye
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