Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Ok, so I used to attend this strength class Saturday mornings. The teacher was leaving so he had a "goodbye" happy hour. This really cute guy from the class sat next to me. We chatted a bit, and at one point I mentioned that I was leaving my house and there would be a vacancy. He said, "oh, I know someone who might be interested. Why don't we trade numbers?" I said, sure, have your friend call me if he's interested. Well, I never called him and he never called me. The room filled up. I stopped going to the class because I didn't like the new teacher. That was December. Fast forward to March. I was standing in front of my building and he ran by. he stopped, remembered my name, and we chatted. He said "You should really come back to the class, the teacher's great." I said what is she like? He said he wouldn't tell me because then I wouldn't come to the class! Last seek I went. After class as I left the building he was sitting on a stoop about a half block away. Of course I stopped and we ended up chatting for about 15 minutes or so. I left and he said, "I hope to see you next week!" So today I went. He worked out right in front of me and we exchanged several "lingering glances". You know the kind, with sustained eye contact. Then after class everyone was putting their stuff away (weights and stuff). The next thing I know, he's scooting out of the room! What gives? A couple of my guy friends said that I need to ask him to do something, but how do you do that without looking like a jackass? My second question is, wouldn't he ask me to do something if he was interested? I'm 35, but sometimes I feel like I'm 15 when I get a crush on a guy! It never seems to get any easier..
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 You're doing fine. Give him the "come hither" sign by flirting, not just chatting, and if he's interested enough, he'll continue the pursuit.
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Honestly, if he's interested, he will ask you out. Don't blow it by asking him out. The guys who stick around are the ones who made the effort to ask you out.
Jilly Bean Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I would say he's just being friendly. He has your number, has known you for a few months. I would think if he were interested he would make a move.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 To Jilly Bean..I know what you mean, and that's what I would normally think. However, I have dated two guys within the last couple of years who both told me that they had crushes on me for a long time before they ever asked me out. Both of those people were people I saw on a regular basis.
Jilly Bean Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 CB - I dunno. I think by the mid-30s that most guys are over their shyness of asking out women. I just really believe if a guy is interested, then he lets you know. But, keep up the gym workouts regardless.
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 To Jilly Bean..I know what you mean, and that's what I would normally think. However, I have dated two guys within the last couple of years who both told me that they had crushes on me for a long time before they ever asked me out. Both of those people were people I saw on a regular basis. Yes, but you say the DID eventually ask you out. They waited until they were ready. No reason to speed up the process. If he wants to, he will ask you out when he is ready to make the move, just like those other guys.
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 CB, if you look unapproachable or disinterested in more than being friendly, men will not ask you out, since they hate, like anyone else, to be rejected. Give him the green light and see where this goes. If he's interested, he'll ask you out. If not, nothing risked beyond an opportunity to brush up on your flirtation skills.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Yep, he does get my ass to the gym on Saturday mornings! And I do like the new teacher, so I will continue to go regardless. But he is so fine to look at...blush...
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 CB, if you look unapproachable or disinterested in more than being friendly, men will not ask you out, since they hate, like anyone else, to be rejected. Give him the green light and see where this goes. If he's interested, he'll ask you out. If not, nothing risked beyond an opportunity to brush up on your flirtation skills. I can't believe I'm agreeing with TBF. CB, believe it or not, a lot of guys whether they're 16 or 36 feel more like a "jack ass" asking a girl out than they would ever think a girl is for asking him out. Most girls are very smooth at asking a guy out. You're probably not giving him clear enough signals and he probably doesn't know you're that interested in him.
Kamille Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 CB, if you look unapproachable or disinterested in more than being friendly, men will not ask you out, since they hate, like anyone else, to be rejected. Give him the green light and see where this goes. If he's interested, he'll ask you out. If not, nothing risked beyond an opportunity to brush up on your flirtation skills. Yup, that's the right attitude. Need flirting tips CB?
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 All excellent advice. Kamille....maybe I could use some flirting tips...? I feel like the only times I get really flirty is when I've had a couple of drinks! Not quite as bold in other scenarios... I have been told on occasion that I'm unapproachable, but I really don't get that. I think I'm pretty friendly.
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