Lookingforward Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I know people who are like that on a daily basis. I don't mean the "can't keep your hands off each other" kind of thing. I just mean the normal decency that people in love show each other on a daily basis. Like saving the last bite of a food that they know you like, or buying a certain brand of pop even though you don't like it. I know it sounds funny, but it's stuff like that. I got that kind of stuff all the time in the beginning of the A. I would get really cold and he would go find a blanket. He watched what I wanted on television even when I told him he should turn the channel. He would play with my hair. Little stuff like that. It was all pretty domestic. It was also a lie, he was "playing house" with you while he had a M.
mistresswchildren Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 It was also a lie, he was "playing house" with you while he had a M. Oh, I know it was a lie, but the idea is that feeling that I had in the beginning, the feeling of being loved like that, SHOULD be how a relationship goes. I'm talking about ONLY the beginning though. The idea is that feeling shouldn't end, and that is what I have learned from all of this.
Lookingforward Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Oh, I know it was a lie, but the idea is that feeling that I had in the beginning, the feeling of being loved like that, SHOULD be how a relationship goes. I'm talking about ONLY the beginning though. The idea is that feeling shouldn't end, and that is what I have learned from all of this. It's a hard lesson to have to learn, of course it can happen in ANY relationship.
Author mopar crazy Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 so mopar, just a question. Do you still think about the time you were an ow? How long did it take before you were competely free??? months? years? Tell me your journey and give me some hope.....where did you say enough is enough? Once in awhile I think about it. But I think about it more when I read the OW/OM forums and how I felt as the OW and how much it sucked, but felt good when I was w/ him. I think it sucked more than felt good though. I don't feel I was ever not free. I dated around, but he was my number one. He got jealous a few times though. Our love A lasted about 2 years but I had a very strong attraction to him for a few years. I said enough was enough when I left for college and came back to visit my family. A friend I brought from college and I stopped at his house. When we walked in there was several HS girls sitting in his living room watching tv. He didn't even come talk to me! Right then I knew he was just a jerk and I was his fun for awhile. I'm sure he moved onto someone new and she was probably there and that is why he stayed clear of me. I was sick to my stomach walking into his house and he had such young girls there. The guy was 5.5 years older than myself and he had girls 6-7 years and still in HS.
Mino Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Once in awhile I think about it. But I think about it more when I read the OW/OM forums and how I felt as the OW and how much it sucked, but felt good when I was w/ him. I think it sucked more than felt good though. I don't feel I was ever not free. I dated around, but he was my number one. He got jealous a few times though. Our love A lasted about 2 years but I had a very strong attraction to him for a few years. I said enough was enough when I left for college and came back to visit my family. A friend I brought from college and I stopped at his house. When we walked in there was several HS girls sitting in his living room watching tv. He didn't even come talk to me! Right then I knew he was just a jerk and I was his fun for awhile. I'm sure he moved onto someone new and she was probably there and that is why he stayed clear of me. I was sick to my stomach walking into his house and he had such young girls there. The guy was 5.5 years older than myself and he had girls 6-7 years and still in HS. So i guess it just hits you one day..... Thanks for sharing
OWoman Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 OW, that reads more like a laundry list of why it's good to be single, not necessarily an OW uh - you missed the bit about the variety of hot men, on tap? If one is involved with SGs, typically they expect you to be their only and them to be yours. They're typically not happy to be one of many. They're typically not happy just to hang about on the end of a phone line for if and when you want to see them - they want to be in your face making them feel important according to THEIR schedules, not yours. MMs are far more reality based when it comes to fitting into a schedule, and realising that they're competing with other needs and priorities, and being one of many (or at least, not your "only" in the same way that they, too, have other needs to satisfy). MMs are used to compromising, to putting their own needs and wants on the backburner to keep others happy and so are far more amenable than SGs to that kind of lifestyle.
Author mopar crazy Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 So i guess it just hits you one day..... Thanks for sharing I guess you could say that. If all those girls weren't there and we ended up together that night I know it would have lasted longer. But I do think that if had gotten M I would have ended it right then and there. He did end up M his live-in GF shortly after it ended between us. She got pregnant. He contacted me via email about 8 years ago. He was reM and wanted to get together again. I told him no, we were both M. We continued to chat but he kept bringing up our past and I told him I was getting uncomfortable. He even called me one day but I told him I could not talk, which I really couldn't. I haven't heard from him again. Small world but his nephew is marrying my niece next month. I hope he isn't at the wedding, it would just be too weird. My H wants to kick his ass for contacting me again but he really needs to let it go. I have no desire to kick the woman's ass he had an A w/ 5 years ago.
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