OpenBook Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 as you age the pool of available partners shrinks. Au contraire, mon frere! I've found the pool has actually expanded. I can go up to 20 years younger, or up to 10 years older now. It used to be 2 years younger, up to 10 years older. From a 12-year range to a 30-year range. Awesome! I just wish I was into it. I'm just so tired of all the games, and the effort. I'd rather enjoy men as friends for now. I do like them. And flirting is fun!! But none of the heavy stuff for me. They need to save it for Oprah. :D:D
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Oh, and as we often have pointed out to us here in this forum, even divorced men cannot be trusted not to suddenly go scurrying back to the exW. We are constantly warned to look for SINGLE men, not even divorced is safe.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 meooooooooooooooow:bunny: Did we find the wrong side of the bed this morning ? LOL Not at all. I tend to call them, as I seeze them....
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Oh, and as we often have pointed out to us here in this forum, even divorced men cannot be trusted not to suddenly go scurrying back to the exW. We are constantly warned to look for SINGLE men, not even divorced is safe. Divorced men are just like single men, in that they can also still be fixated on their exes. The ones you have to be cautious about, are the separated ones, since some of them aren't really separated... For that matter, single men aren't always single. Know your man before leaping into bed with him.
Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 And 33 is hardly at that point - wait until you're over 50 and looking LOL I find it easier now than when I was younger..
HeavenScent Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I know there are good men out there but I'm still young so I better just lurk around and keep my eyes open for the good one.
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Divorced men are just like single men, in that they can also still be fixated on their exes. The ones you have to be cautious about, are the separated ones, since some of them aren't really separated... For that matter, single men aren't always single. Know your man before leaping into bed with him. Yes, I learned a hard lesson about the separated one that isn't emotionally, won't be making that particular mistake again.
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I find it easier now than when I was younger.. Yes, but that's you, and as we know, you're a "special case" Besides, I'm looking for a committed relationship, not an MM on the side
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I know there are good men out there but I'm still young so I better just lurk around and keep my eyes open for the good one. Yes, that's a great way to be. Take your time, sift through the crap, which if you have choice, you'll experience enough of it, then, take the real gold, the ones who have integrity and matching core values.
Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yes, but that's you, and as we know, you're a "special case" Besides, I'm looking for a committed relationship, not an MM on the side It doesn't matter what you're looking for.. they're all out there.. even the younger ones looking for a committed relationship... and I don't see myself as a 'special case'.. I know other older women who can have all the younger men they want..
Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yes, that's a great way to be. Take your time, sift through the crap, which if you have choice, you'll experience enough of it, then, take the real gold, the ones who have integrity and matching core values. Maybe.. just maybe... if you're lucky you'll find an old widower when you're in your late 80s
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 It doesn't matter what you're looking for.. they're all out there.. even the younger ones looking for a committed relationship... and I don't see myself as a 'special case'.. I know other older women who can have all the younger men they want.. ummm it wasn't the age I was talking about case wise, I seem to attract younger ones as well.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Maybe.. just maybe... if you're lucky you'll find an old widower when you're in your late 80s You have to like men, to be able to see what's inside of them.
HeavenScent Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yes, that's a great way to be. Take your time, sift through the crap, which if you have choice, you'll experience enough of it, then, take the real gold, the ones who have integrity and matching core values. I intend to do just that! I really liked this one guy but there was a couple of red flags so I decided not to continue. It's not easy to meet a guy that holds the same values as me. I have to keep looking...
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I intend to do just that! I really liked this one guy but there was a couple of red flags so I decided not to continue. It's not easy to meet a guy that holds the same values as me. I have to keep looking... Good attitude! Never settle but don't expect perfection. Best to decide what's a negotiable and what's a non-negotiable and stick to your non-negotiables. Too many people justify themselves, in taking actions that have eroded on who they are or want to be. Once you start justifying, it becomes a slippery slope of self-erosion.
OpenBook Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Just keep in mind, once they've got you hooked into a committed relationship, you have to work your @ss off for them. And even then, there's no guarantee they'll continue to treat you well or remain faithful to you. Good luck. You're going to need it.
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Good attitude! Never settle but don't expect perfection. Best to decide what's a negotiable and what's a non-negotiable and stick to your non-negotiables. Too many people justify themselves, in taking actions that have eroded on who they are or want to be. Once you start justifying, it becomes a slippery slope of self-erosion. I've actually now made a list of what I need to be in a committed relationship, and side notes of what is a dealbreaker and what may or may not be. I also made a list of what I have to offer (just in case I find myself "settling" for less that what I'm after)
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Just keep in mind, once they've got you hooked into a committed relationship, you have to work your @ss off for them. And even then, there's no guarantee they'll continue to treat you well or remain faithful to you. Good luck. You're going to need it. See, this is where you and I differ. I don't have a problem working my arse off in a relationship, IF, it's mutual effort. When this happens, it doesn't feel like work/effort because you gain happiness, from making your partner happy. I won't settle. If that means remaining single forever, so be it, although I highly doubt it. I must confess that the hedonistic single's lifestyle, is A LOT of fun. I'm in no hurry to get involved again.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I've actually now made a list of what I need to be in a committed relationship, and side notes of what is a dealbreaker and what may or may not be. I also made a list of what I have to offer (just in case I find myself "settling" for less that what I'm after) Sounds a bit overboard but if that works for you, hey, let live!
OpenBook Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 See, this is where you and I differ. I don't have a problem working my arse off in a relationship, IF, it's mutual effort. When this happens, it doesn't feel like work/effort because you gain happiness, from making your partner happy. I see what you're saying. But it sure didn't help you in your first M, did it? From my own life experience, I have learned that love is not enough. The problem is, I don't know what IS enough. And I'm beginning to doubt that ANYTHING is enough. Maybe I just haven't met a guy that knocks my socks off yet (and who is available). I'm hoping that's all it is...
OpenBook Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I've actually now made a list of what I need to be in a committed relationship, and side notes of what is a dealbreaker and what may or may not be. I also made a list of what I have to offer (just in case I find myself "settling" for less that what I'm after) OK LF, you threw it out there -- share your list with us!! :bunny: I'll start with mine: (1) He has to worship and adore me. (2) He has to be a good cook, and not expect me to. Not meeting either of these requirements would be a dealbreaker for me. There. That's mine. What's yours??
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I see what you're saying. But it sure didn't help you in your first M, did it? From my own life experience, I have learned that love is not enough. The problem is, I don't know what IS enough. And I'm beginning to doubt that ANYTHING is enough. Maybe I just haven't met a guy that knocks my socks off yet (and who is available). I'm hoping that's all it is... The good part with my first M, was that it taught me the red signs to look for, in someone who will cheat. I know one thing's for certain. Not every man has a disorder and especially, not every man has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. To paint every man into a corner and suggest this, is truly...silly... I completely agree that love is not enough. I'm comfortable in knowing what I feel is enough. It's all that matters. I suspect so OpenBook. There's someone out there for everyone. If it's a priority to you, to find someone, you'll make the time to get to know more people, so the process is sped up. For myself, I'm in no hurry. I just have strong belief that it will happen, when it happens.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 OK LF, you threw it out there -- share your list with us!! :bunny: I'll start with mine: (1) He has to worship and adore me. (2) He has to be a good cook, and not expect me to. Not meeting either of these requirements would be a dealbreaker for me. There. That's mine. What's yours?? It should be pretty easy to find a man like that. Good for you, for not having a massive list of non-negotiables. Are you certain you don't want integrity? I would have that as my top priority.
OpenBook Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 It should be pretty easy to find a man like that. Good for you, for not having a massive list of non-negotiables. Are you certain you don't want integrity? I would have that as my top priority. I think finding integrity in a man is impossible, when it comes to women anyway. It's the impossible dream. :D
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