Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 So this guy lately has not been telling me anything. I knew he had went to this big event one night but he didnt know that i knew and he didnt say anything! However, he does ask me what i have been doing and whats going on with me....So to me its standing still. Why is he standing still if he likes me? Well, now as i see it its been a month since i last saw him. I probably could see him next week but I really just feel like hes not making it worth it. I think the next step is to cut off all contact as i generally do with guys.
Tyra Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Well,what else has he not been telling you?Because since he didn't tell you about the event that he went to, it shouldn't be a reason to cut him off.
Replicant Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Well if it's been a month, either he's not interested or he's taking things at a speed slower than that of a turtles pace. This is your cue to either move on, or know that things will be officially exclusive between you two by the time you are say..80 years old
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Is this the FWB guy? Does putting my thumb and index finger to my forehead in the shape of an "L" mean anything?
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Is this the FWB guy? Does putting my thumb and index finger to my forehead in the shape of an "L" mean anything? You borrowed my line. If this is an FWB, he doesn't owe you any information. What is it about people who don't understand what an FWB is all about? It's pure sex, that is all!
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 If carhill is right, and this is just an FWB relationship, then this guy doesn't have any reasons to share other parts of his life with you. If you are FWB, you have to accept what you get, take the sex, that's all you get until he gets bored and moves to the next. If it is a real boyfriend, then something is off. Are you the one contacting him most of the time? Is he doing anything to make an effort in your relationship? It sounds as if you are feeling he is backing off. If that is true, you have to back off and stop calling and contacting him altogether. If he contacts you and wants to see you, great, if not, you know where you stand with him.
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 You know, the sincerest form of flattery is.... FWIW, I don't even know that this FWB is sex. Reading some past postings I wasn't clear on that at all. OP?
Author Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Yeah this is a messed up situation now. I talked to him this week and told him i am leaving to another state because its part of my schooling. I guess he said to a friend that he doesn't want to be in a relationship that is going to end in like a few months so he wants to wait and see. What does that mean? I have been patient right ? 6 months!!!!!!! I think the fact that i am leaving in about a year makes me think that if something is not happening now then it never will and that i should take this year to know other people and then leave to the other state and find someone else. I just don't think that by prolonging this weird relationship with him will benefit me. I think it will make me become attached to him and it will be that much harder to move on. Also since we have been talking and such he i have noticed lately that he has not been telling me anything. This i find as odd behavior since he usually does tell me. So its not that i am dumping him essentially because of this its just another factor that adds to my list of WRONG THINGS that are happening.
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I don't think it matters if you "dump" him or not. He's not in a relationship with you to "dump." You're already off his radar; he's done with you.
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 OK, you're convinced Now wave your magic wand! I love to watch guys go "poof"!
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 It almost seems like you enjoy other peoples's pain. It's not funny to like a guy who isn't showing the same feelings back. You just mock women in this situation and don't really help at all. OK, you're convinced Now wave your magic wand! I love to watch guys go "poof"!
Author Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Well the thing is i am just getting opinions to validate my thoughts. It was a wait and see where things go. After 6 months I know he likes me but not enough apparently. By getting other peoples thoughts on this it helps to know that i am doing the right thing and that i am being fair.
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 It almost seems like you enjoy other peoples's pain. It's not funny to like a guy who isn't showing the same feelings back. You just mock women in this situation and don't really help at all. No, but I'm starting to enjoy yours Wanna play?
Jilly Bean Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 (edited) It almost seems like you enjoy other peoples's pain. It's not funny to like a guy who isn't showing the same feelings back. You just mock women in this situation and don't really help at all. Why do you love to write to everyone that HES NOT INTO YOU. I guess now since you and your magical vageen have been rejected, maybe you'll stop the canned line a bit. Lucky - it just seems like you want more of a relationship than he does. For whatever reason - whether you leaving, him leaving, etc., it's just not coming together the way you would like. It seems like the pattern is to pick unavailable men, try to get them into a relationship, then when it doesn't happen, you feel justified in dismissing them. Now, wouldn't it be better to just start up with someone who wants what you do, rather than trying to put a square peg in a round hole? Edited April 5, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 JillyBean- The problem i keep running into is that they all start out wanting the same thing i do and then i don't ever ask where is it going and i let it all develop on its own. Each time its happened where the guy is just stagnant or it keeps going in circles. How do i change the pattern?
Author Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 I have boundaries and I do present myself pretty good. In the beginning i am promised the moon, sky, stars, you name it they will get it for me just to have sex. I usually dump those guys. The problem is knowing what they want. I find myself with in this predicament with guys: There are the guys that want sex so they promise everything. There are the guys that want a relationship after 3 occassions of hanging out with me. (WAY TO EARLY FOR ME) There are guys that i begin getting to know and poof they want a relationship because they like me and want to get laid. This would be after 3 weeks with going out maybe once or twice week. Not talking everyday either. The guy, like the one i have posted about who I thought was right for me but he just seems to have a lot of baggage. I honestly don't know why i feel bad just saying bye. I guess its because we got close and had a lot in common. First guy in a long time that i was like amazing till now that is. I also keep myself busy so as to not preoccupy myself with this but it gets to me on days where i find myself clueless with relationships and dating. I think the summer will bring out more people. I am not ready to be married i just want a good relationship. I am a go with the flow type of person..should i be saying "what are we doing or where is this going to get my point across and not waste my time? Maybe i just have not met the right guy yet?
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