sparkle3 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 im so confused i dont no what to do.....i was with my ex for just over 3years...we were so happy and in love, things were great. then suddenly he started being realy off with me and not wanting to spend any time with me. this went on for months,.. then he broke up with me. said he wanted a break. i was devistated. i didnt give him space, i made the mistake of begging and pleading for months but it just pushed him further away. he wouldnt answer my txts or calls. i finaly stoped ringing and begging for another chance. but now if i dont get in touch for a week or so he will txt a realy long msg saying how sorry he is ect but if i reply he switches his phone off and its realy confusing me i dont no if he wants me back or doesnt its driving me crazy its been a long time now and i just want him back. what should i do???? what is he thinking????
stlnsmile Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Okay well same thing happened to me, exactly the same thing....let me just say first, take care of you. Stop putting all of your focus on him. If he wants to be with you, he will make that choice whether you bug him or not. I wouldn't bug him, obviously thats not working. I think you need to take some time for you to figure out who you are and what you need. I know you miss him, but he's sending very clear signals that he is not ready for a relationship at this time with you. And until he is, you can not make him change his mind. What you can do is try to remember who you are, get back together with your friends, do things that interest you, remember what you believe and think.....just become your own best friend, because when you are, you will not be willing to accept the scraps that he is giving you, and believe me, all he is giving you right now is scraps. And keeping you holding on by his occassional text messages. He's keeping you on a string just incase what ever else he's doing does not work out.....at least thats what I think, and having gone through the exact same thing.......I know what I am talking about.
Author sparkle3 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 thanx for the reply its helped and yea i totaly agree! i have been having 'me' time doing what makes me happy but i cant help thinking about him and wanting him back in my life. not a day goes by without getting upset wishing he would come back to me. he says he loves me and thinks about me evryday so i dont understand why he cant be with me. i meen we r both only 20 which is very young so ive relised i do need to give him space and let him make his own decisions. the once in a while calls and txts r just realy confusing me bcoz 1minuit hes nice then the nxt nasty:confused:
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 vacillation = I don't care I don't care = control Corollary: The person who cares the least has the most control Sorry
Author sparkle3 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 yea he does have control over me i surpose a few month ago he said to me "i no i could have you back any time i like" he is right tho realy. u think that sort of puts him off wanting me back if he knows he can have me?? i dont get it. grrr im sick of feeling like this:(
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 You don't get it because you're not a narcissist. Trust me, that isn't a place you want to go.
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