Skies Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 (edited) I have researched opinions online but still confused. Is he interested? So last night we went to a game. I personally had a great time since our home team won. During the game we were sitting very close to each other and I felt that our arms touched lots of time and knees too. When our team scored we high fived and gave each other hugs. After the game we met his friend who was watching the game in a bar closeby. Then we were discussing what to do next. They were asking me if I would like to go to a bar with them, which is close to their living place but far away from mine. So I explained that it would be hard for me to get back home plus I still need to work tomorrow morning. He seemed a little disappointed and we hugged goodbye. So then I got home. Texted him: Thanks I had fun. He texted back: I had a blast too. Enjoy work tomorrow. Me: Work's no fun. You were fun to be with. Have a good time out and night. Him: It'd be ok. You were fun too. Have a good night. Just then I got his message: What you up to. I texted back: Just done a hair cut. you? Him: Just at home, waiting to work. Me: Did you get drunk? Him: No not really. Then I told him that I have just had my hair curved but not really like it..he said that's true...then I said sorry that you need to work, he said yea it sucks, oh well. Then he had to leave. I guess he was texting for politeness? I'm ok to move on but I sort of liked him much. Well. Gotta get over it. Should I have not texted him after the game? I just thought it would be polite. And why he texted me back today without a plan or follow-up, right before he goes to work? ....Please give me some advices. Edited April 5, 2008 by Skies
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 If he is serious, he will call you and ask you out.
SeraBella Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 It's been ONE DAY and you're still talking...I don't really understand where you think he isn't interested in you. Is there something I am missing?
Author Skies Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 (edited) So I guess the answer is 1. he's not serious 2. he's interested ... Should I show my interests to him? Just not very good at taking the hints thing... Cuz I felt that he was not eager and, how to say, as interested as before. Edited April 5, 2008 by Skies
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 All you can do is wait and see if he calls and asks you out. As of now he has pretty much written off having a date with you this weekend because he hasn't called and asked you out. If he's interested, he will call and ask you out (don't go if he asks you out for tonight, too late.) Don't wrap anymore time thinking about it because you have no control whether he will call you or not. Don't text or call him, that's for sure. Enjoy your weekend and just forget about it is my advice! So I guess the answer is 1. he's not serious 2. he's interested ... Should I show my interests to him? Just not very good at taking the hints thing... Cuz I felt that he was not eager and, how to say, as interested as before.
Replicant Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 There's nothing wrong here. You cant over analyze everything to death like this or you're going to end up in an constant emotional mess like you are now. Guys don't think like that. He's not going to look at the fact you texted him after the game and consider that a means to back off! Just let things go for the time being, allow him the time to get in touch with you and set up a second date. If he's interested in you he most certainly will.
Author Skies Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Thanks for the advices. I think you are right. When I care about a person I tend to overanalyze and act carefully. While in the other cases I tend to act more naturally and be indifferent, which might actually be good to the relationship. Oh well. Haven't heard from him today. He used to log on AIM and log off but since the game night he's been on a "message will be sent to my cell" online status. I guess I should just sit and wait, right?
garnet Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Don't think of it as sitting and waiting. Think of it as doing your own thing and enjoying your life. Don't obsess over it.
Author Skies Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 (edited) Home team won again tonight so I texted him about it, but turned out that at the same time he sent a msg to me askin me what i was up to....so it was like there is no first or second this time... So he texted me that he'll have to see me again some time...and maybe goin out tonight after he got off work like around midnight...i said i am a little tired and he's too far away...(none of us has a car for now...) SO....those the right things I said? So he didn't suggest another time yet. Edited April 6, 2008 by Skies
SeraBella Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 No one here knows the right things to say for you. He's interested in you and in nothing you've said is there any indication of anything different. Don't worry about who said what first and second. Just stop. It sounds like you turned him down, he may be feeling rejected, and uncertain if you actually want to see him again. YOU suggest the next time. Men are not as difficult as women to figure out, usually, but they still feel rejected, insecure, and uncertain the same way women do.
Marin Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I see where Skies is coming from though. This guy doesn't seem fully invested in dating her, or he'd be setting up a time to see her again, not just texting her with vague references to getting together.
Author Skies Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Why can't people just express feelings freely. I think I showed my interests by replying to his messages, being reponsive and suggested that we could go movies or watch games again...And he seemd glad about those ideas...It's just the distance of our living place making the meet-up more difficult without planning. I wish he could suggest a time to meet up again instead of texting me before he is about to go out...Maybe I am asking for too much. I still think he should make some more efforts before I can put in my trust though. Thanks for all the advices.
Matt105 Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I agree that he is definitely interested. However, you can never be sure if he is really interested in a relationship or if he just wants to get in bed. You guys went to a sporting event? That really sounds like he may want something more than just a roll in the hay I say it's looking good. You're right that he should 'plan' something if he is interested, but who knows? Give it time I guess and see how it plays out..
Author Skies Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Yeah I think this time is no different than before...Turned out that it's hard to be indifferent to the ones that I care. Still texts. From this single point I guess I should not hold too much hope on this. I think he knows that I missed him a bit, so he is chilling out and doing wait-and-see... Last night we chatted a bit and then I asked about his plans for his day off today, he mentioned vaguely about somethings to do in the morning, then I said Somthings Huh, he went Lol, then I got tired about all these vague "things" he was trying to tell me so I said that I was tired and needed to go to bed. Then his comment was Oh ok, Wuss. Oh well...
Author Skies Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Thank you SaraBella. Anothing thing I like to gain from this forum is the courage....Well I am looking for a Friday game ticket so maybe I can do something about this... The thing is besides the sport I don't know much about his favourites... Maybe movies. 21? He is not that into maths and counting cards though. -_- More Wedding Crashers type. It's not good to suggest something tonight since it's too late, right?
SeraBella Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I'm not sure where you are, it may be too late if you think it is too late. It's midday where I am. Why not suggest something for tomorrow, or the next day? It's sometimes easier to plan a day or a few days in advance than the same day. You could say something as simple as "hey, would you like to see <insert movie name> tomorrow?" If you know his schedule at all, pick a time you think he's available and not working. If you can't think of a movie, then just ask if he'd like to see a movie. I don't know what movies are out right now so I can't really make a suggestion on that. His response will help dictate whether or not he's interested in you. If he avoids giving you an answer, or says he's busy and doesn't seem interested in another time then you may want to move on. Keep in mind guys get nervous too. They also question if the girl is interested. He could be thinking the same things you are. I personally prefer if a guy does the asking and initiates the conversations in the "courting" stage, but there have been lots of guys I've dated that were just as unsure as I was and were hesitant...especially the shy ones, and the ones who haven't dated too much. I realized I had to just chalk up some courage and invite them somewhere. When you think about it...what have you really got to lose? I mean if he rejects you, yes it will hurt but you're already in agony just wondering about whether or not he's interested. You'd be finding out sooner rather than wasting more time and energy into someone not worth it. But if he accepts your offer then you have confirmed he's interested and you get to see him again....moving on to what may potentially be a relationship.
Author Skies Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Just texted him to ask how his day-off has been but hasn't got any replies yet. So I left a text saying that I would like to check out the game and see if he is interested in going too. We'll see... He is quite outgoing and up-front person, so it's been easier. I enjoyed his company so far. However it seems that I can't quite figure out what's in his head. He once told me I am more than welcome to stop by his home anytime though (potentially watching games etc...actually that'd be fun, but well...). That made me feel he is probably looking for sth. different than I do. But thank you very much for spending time to type up the advices.
Author Skies Posted April 8, 2008 Author Posted April 8, 2008 I guess we are done? 6 hours after I sent out the IM no reply yet. Another bubble exploded? A little surprised that I could be indifferent... Maybe I didn't like him that much. Oh well...
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