sid33 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I've been seeing a girl for the last two and a half months. From the start she has always been texting me, complimenting me and such. I'm not too sure but I am wondering if whenever I tell her I miss her she starts to treat me less nicely. The texting stops, doesn't make time to see me etc. Is it possible that once she knows I am missing her she loses interest. From what I have learned about her, she hasn't dated in a long time and her last bf was a real ass****. I am trying to be patient and accept the fact that she may have some issuses. But going from a sunday where she is missing me a lot to the rest of the week not hearing from her except when i send a text is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, I'm not too sure how much longer until I say stop I want to get off this ride. I am not sure what to do. I like this girl alot. But not enough to be miserable half the time. Dare I suggest it could be she is emotional due to the pms. Seems like about once a month she becomes kinda biotchy. I am not disrespected women here, just stating a possibility. I sent a text asking what's up with the change, no reply yet... Although it will hurt abit, knowing it is over would be better than the uncertainty.... I can't think of anything I've done to warrant that, I've actually been very helpful, considerate and making a good amount of effort(driving to see her mostly)Should I just walk away? Suck it up and see what happens? Think it's time to meet someone else.........it's stressing me out...any help would be great .thanks Sid
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Seems like about once a month she becomes kinda biotchy yes, it's PMS. Okay, well, back off abit. When you sense her moods coming, don't talk to her. Spend time with your friends, make other plans. Stop telling her you miss her. (when you tell her this, how many days have actually passed since you saw or spoke to her?)
Author sid33 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 usually about two or three days. She becomes sweet again and like nothing happened. I think i will take your advice and back off abit. Even though I wouldn't say I am smothering her, etc. I'm not perfect either, so I keep that in mind when she starts to act distant
xpaperxcutx Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Do you guys just text? Do you even call her once in a while? Seriously, enough with the texts. Give her a call once in a while maybe she just misses your voice. And when she starts acting distant, just back off her and go about your own business. A new relationship can be smothering if you aren't careful.
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 usually about two or three days. She becomes sweet again and like nothing happened. I think i will take your advice and back off abit. Even though I wouldn't say I am smothering her, etc. I'm not perfect either, so I keep that in mind when she starts to act distant Remember - Her PMS is NOT about you so don't take it personally. I mean, noone is happy and nice all the time. We all have days when we feel grumpy and don't want company. Other than that, enjoy your relationship with her! Have fun and try not to 'think/over analzye' things. Trust what you two have built together so far.
btc8 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Remember - Her PMS is NOT about you so don't take it personally. I mean, noone is happy and nice all the time. We all have days when we feel grumpy and don't want company. Other than that, enjoy your relationship with her! Have fun and try not to 'think/over analzye' things. Trust what you two have built together so far. Yeah, I agree. I think you just need to back off a bit at that time of the month--guys sometime get moody too every once a month, but theirs isn't entirely hormonal or physical, more like theirs is in response to the when their SO's get their periods! Also, about the texts, a call goes so much farther than a simple text. I read somewhere that men use texts to manage their relationships while women read more into the texts they receive. How is your rapport/relationship with her when you two talk on the phone? Do you say these things you text to her on the phone? If not, then perhaps she reads into the texts and finds the logical gap in your feelings when you two speak to each other--maybe this may also be a possibility. She may feel a bit sore/disappointed at how your texts say more than you do. Saying something in a text is so much easier than verbalizing it. Just some thoughts.
JackhammerGemma Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'll tell you the same thing that was told to me - when you give too much, they back away and become aloof. When you retreat, they chase you. It doesn't make much sense to me to be that way, but it seems to be true. If you don't make yourself so available or answer every text right away, the other person seems to have more interest and try harder. Make her work for your attention, don't give so much of it. Good luck!
thehappycynic Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'll tell you the same thing that was told to me - when you give too much, they back away and become aloof. When you retreat, they chase you. It doesn't make much sense to me to be that way, but it seems to be true. If you don't make yourself so available or answer every text right away, the other person seems to have more interest and try harder. Make her work for your attention, don't give so much of it. Good luck! I agree with Jackhammer completely. I hate these "games" but if you don't play them, you likely will lose.
btc8 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'll tell you the same thing that was told to me - when you give too much, they back away and become aloof. When you retreat, they chase you. It doesn't make much sense to me to be that way, but it seems to be true. If you don't make yourself so available or answer every text right away, the other person seems to have more interest and try harder. Make her work for your attention, don't give so much of it. Good luck! So true! And very clearheaded and useful advice as well!
Lucky555 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 going from a sunday where she is missing me a lot to the rest of the week not hearing from her except when i send a text is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, I'm not too sure how much longer until I say stop I want to get off this ride. I am not sure what to do. I like this girl alot. But not enough to be miserable half the time. Dare I suggest it could be she is emotional due to the pms. Seems like about once a month she becomes kinda biotchy. So i wonder why it is you are the one that is emotional and its ok because you don't hear from her and then when she is emotional it must be pms? hahaha I think thats funny. But if you read that she misses you and when you text her she replies. I think shes trying to keep your interest. Everything is ok from reading this. Have you stated to her what she wants though or what you want?
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I've been seeing a girl for the last two and a half months. From the start she has always been texting me, complimenting me and such. I'm not too sure but I am wondering if whenever I tell her I miss her she starts to treat me less nicely. The texting stops, doesn't make time to see me etc. Is it possible that once she knows I am missing her she loses interest. From what I have learned about her, she hasn't dated in a long time and her last bf was a real ass****. I am trying to be patient and accept the fact that she may have some issuses. But going from a sunday where she is missing me a lot to the rest of the week not hearing from her except when i send a text is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, I'm not too sure how much longer until I say stop I want to get off this ride. I am not sure what to do. I like this girl alot. But not enough to be miserable half the time. Dare I suggest it could be she is emotional due to the pms. Seems like about once a month she becomes kinda biotchy. I am not disrespected women here, just stating a possibility. I sent a text asking what's up with the change, no reply yet... Although it will hurt abit, knowing it is over would be better than the uncertainty.... I can't think of anything I've done to warrant that, I've actually been very helpful, considerate and making a good amount of effort(driving to see her mostly)Should I just walk away? Suck it up and see what happens? Think it's time to meet someone else.........it's stressing me out...any help would be great .thanks Sid You should definitely walk away. Your post makes it clear that a) this girl isn't normal and b) all she cares aboout is your validation and not you.
john.blainer Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 If she's like this after only two and a half months imagine what the relationship will be like in a year... End it now before you get too involved.
Author sid33 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 I think all your replies have been useful. Except for josiewhatever who had nothing intelligent to say. I strongly agree with the point that it is often very easy to give too much in the beginning of a new relationship. I know I'd do well to manage my expectations. I agree,dating is unfortunately a game in some respects, better to accept it than be in denial. From my experiences appearing less interested equals not being needy. Amazed at how people respond when they think they are about to lose someone they thought wouldn't be willing to walk away. And I only suggested the pms because of the seemly coincidental timing of her backing off. At least the girls have a valid excuse/reason for the moodiness etc. I can't justify my getting bitchy...another interesting point, is that some of us look at how things are going very early on to try and see how it's going to be down the road.Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to relax a little.
sally4sara Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I think all your replies have been useful. Except for josiewhatever who had nothing intelligent to say. I strongly agree with the point that it is often very easy to give too much in the beginning of a new relationship. I know I'd do well to manage my expectations. I agree,dating is unfortunately a game in some respects, better to accept it than be in denial. From my experiences appearing less interested equals not being needy. Amazed at how people respond when they think they are about to lose someone they thought wouldn't be willing to walk away. And I only suggested the pms because of the seemly coincidental timing of her backing off. At least the girls have a valid excuse/reason for the moodiness etc. I can't justify my getting bitchy...another interesting point, is that some of us look at how things are going very early on to try and see how it's going to be down the road.Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to relax a little. Well said sid. Wouldn't surprise me if she is doing this because she is also worried about the games and coming off clingy.
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