Author Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Ex just called and said his new GF's period came this morning. We got into a fight over him telling me this crap, all while he's "not ready" to hear about my love life...and it's ready to know who I'm dating, how it's going, etc. But yet he can tell me this bullsh*t? He claims I asked. Yeah, I asked, "Why are you so stressed?" and out he came with this nonsense. As for tardy-guy, I got over my anger and actually wanted to see him again. As soon as I thought that, he texted me to test the waters (this was Wednesday). I responded kindly, and asked what his plans were for the weekend. He immediately wrote back (he usually takes a while to respond) and said he had tentative plans to go to Tahoe for the weekend, but would let me know ASAP if they fell through. The next day, he let me know he was in fact going to Tahoe afterall and said, "maybe we can get dinner sometime next week." "Maybe"? Perhaps I was too b*tchy towards him on the day we went up skiing...
allina Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Something tells me that you don't know the whole story with his GF...He will never tell you the whole story.. Please STOP all contact with him.. I couldn't agree more. I am fairly certain that he was involved with her before meeting you and that going back to her was always in his plans. And I cannot understand for the life of me why you're still in contact with him.
tkgirl Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Ex just called and said his new GF's period came this morning. We got into a fight over him telling me this crap, all while he's "not ready" to hear about my love life...and it's ready to know who I'm dating, how it's going, etc. But yet he can tell me this bullsh*t? He claims I asked. Yeah, I asked, "Why are you so stressed?" and out he came with this nonsense. As for tardy-guy, I got over my anger and actually wanted to see him again. As soon as I thought that, he texted me to test the waters (this was Wednesday). I responded kindly, and asked what his plans were for the weekend. He immediately wrote back (he usually takes a while to respond) and said he had tentative plans to go to Tahoe for the weekend, but would let me know ASAP if they fell through. The next day, he let me know he was in fact going to Tahoe afterall and said, "maybe we can get dinner sometime next week." "Maybe"? Perhaps I was too b*tchy towards him on the day we went up skiing... OMG!!! all that "my ex's new GF is pregnant" and she actually isn't?!!! I don't know the whole story about what you went through with this guy but IMHO you need to stop all contact with this guy... too much drama! you hang in there sweetie... you see too nice (and too beautiful from your pic) to have to put up with all this crap! As for tardy guy.. I don't know the story there either, but the whole "maybe" thing made me laugh.. not at you of course but only because the last guy I was seeing would do that too... kind of a sign they can't commit.. maybe? I say when he does come around to ask you out, you should say "hmmm... maybe!" LOL!!!
Author Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 I couldn't agree more. I am fairly certain that he was involved with her before meeting you and that going back to her was always in his plans. And I cannot understand for the life of me why you're still in contact with him. He wasn't. He met her for the first time after he returned there, and he says he "cannot help" the feelings that he developed for her. Whatever. I understand those emotions, but it doesn't mean I need to hear about it. I've honestly been doing SOOOOOOOOOOO f'ing well, seriously. This just threw me for a loop! I really hope I get another date with tardy guy though - despite this flaw, he's got more character than the Ex could gather in ten lifetimes.
sb129 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I cannot understand for the life of me why you're still in contact with him. Me either. His hypocrisy is astounding. How on earth did he think the news that she might be pregnant would affect you? Couldn't he have waited a few weeks to be sure before he dropped the bomb? (Or couldn't he just have crawled back under his rock and left you alone?) How insensitive he is. PLEASE don't answer his calls anymore. You know she isn't pregnant now, just leave it at that. Continuing to stay in contact with him will achieve nothing. We will have to wait and see with TG.... fingers crossed.
Author Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Ex doesn't want to know what's going on with my love life because he's not ready to hear it, but admits he's curious. WTF is that about? TG is a good guy. A ditz when it comes to the clock, but a good guy (I think). Hopefully I'll see him soon.
ShoeGirl Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Hi SG! I have to agree with everyone else here that you need to stop all contact with him. If he called to tell you that she is pregnant and all he didn't know that for sure he is just trying to get a reaction out of you, even if she was really pregnant he is just trying to get a reaction out of you! You don't need that drama in your life and he shouldn't be calling to rub his new relationship in your face. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this but your life would have so much less drama if you weren't talking to him
allina Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 What's most important is that you're doing well and moving on. Though if I was in your situation and he called to tell me his new gf was pregnant I'd just reply with an uhmm oooook and giggle, maybe a sucks for you as well
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Star, you're letting him get away with using you as his emotional sponge. Stop the madness. No more contact. As for TardyGuy, unless this is all for funsies, you're settling again. Believe that you deserve more respect than these guys are giving you. Until you do, you're not going to get that respect.
allina Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 As for TardyGuy, unless this is all for funsies, you're settling again. Believe that you deserve more respect than these guys are giving you. Until you do, you're not going to get that respect. If TardGuy willing to be on time when it really matters? Is he willing to try to be on time? I so I wouldn't necessarily call it settling. Just be rational he's a grown man and it he wants to it's not that f-ing hard to get places on time, don't allow him to dismiss your needs w/ his tardiness.
Trialbyfire Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 If TardGuy willing to be on time when it really matters? Is he willing to try to be on time? I so I wouldn't necessarily call it settling. Just be rational he's a grown man and it he wants to it's not that f-ing hard to get places on time, don't allow him to dismiss your needs w/ his tardiness. Fundamentally, someone who's always late and does a no show like TG, has no respect for her or her time. If he changes to RespectfulGuy, from TardyGuy, then yes, she will not be settling. Who knows how long someone can maintain changing who they are, just for someone else. If you notice their last correspondence, he's telling her upfront, that she's the backup plan.
allina Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Fundamentally, someone who's always late and does a no show like TG, has no respect for her or her time. If he changes to RespectfulGuy, from TardyGuy, then yes, she will not be settling. Who knows how long someone can maintain changing who they are, just for someone else. If you notice their last correspondence, he's telling her upfront, that she's the backup plan. Oh, I didn't realize Tard has been a no show and all that
Kamille Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'm sorry but your ex is a self-centred azz. He's acting like a brat because you've always taken on his emotional bull**** and are actually capable of handling it. But every once in awhile he pulls a stunt like this, that affects you, and he tells you you asked for it? Argh! I would cut him out not because you need to let go, but because you don't need someone this irreversably self-centred in your life. And hmmm, tardy guy. I don't know. He sounds like a make-no-plans go-with-the-flow kind of person. In my opinion, that's not the kind of guy for you.
carhill Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Tardy Guy is now Waffling Guy. I don't think this rocket is going to get off the pad in one piece
Art_Critic Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Why are you still speaking with him ?.. He isn't ready to hear about your love life ?.. WTF ??? SG.. WTF ????? Let him go.. he is about to suck you into the drama of his now changed life.. do you really want to be friends or lovers with this guy ?
Art_Critic Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Ex just called and said his new GF's period came this morning. Where are your boundaries SG ? Why are you still speaking with him ?
Author Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Oh, I didn't realize Tard has been a no show and all that It wasn't. Not sure how TBF got that idea. He was late (really late!) but we still went up and had a great time.
johan Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'm with Art. Making statements about what a jerk he is is missing the point. Regardless of what kind of guy he is, it's time to let go of the rope and let him drift back into the past.
Author Star Gazer Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Star, you're letting him get away with using you as his emotional sponge. Stop the madness. No more contact. I agree with you, and I told him as much today (that he's using me for emotional support, like a crutch, but he's breaking my back) and he came back with, "I talk to you more than any of my other friends, Star!!!" and I said, "RIGHT. And there's something wrong with that picture, don't you think?" I'm sorry but your ex is a self-centred azz. He's acting like a brat because you've always taken on his emotional bull**** and are actually capable of handling it. I agree with you, Kam. In fact, you've echoed my therapist! And hmmm, tardy guy. I don't know. He sounds like a make-no-plans go-with-the-flow kind of person. In my opinion, that's not the kind of guy for you. He might not be... WTF ??? SG.. WTF ????? I "WTF" myself all the time too, Art.
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I agree with you, and I told him as much today (that he's using me for emotional support, like a crutch, but he's breaking my back) and he came back with, "I talk to you more than any of my other friends, Star!!!" and I said, "RIGHT. And there's something wrong with that picture, don't you think?" Then tell him you're not his friend. This reminds me of my ex-H. Some of these guys can't see past their arseholes. Oh...hang on...that's because it's what they are...
sb129 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I agree with you, and I told him as much today (that he's using me for emotional support, like a crutch, but he's breaking my back) and he came back with, "I talk to you more than any of my other friends, Star!!!" and I said, "RIGHT. And there's something wrong with that picture, don't you think?" . There is indeed something wrong with this picture!! Well done Star for saying as much to him. The more of his weak side I see, the more I am soooo glad that you guys aren't together. He would have drained you emotionally if you had.
Marin Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 It appears his girlfriend isn't pregnant after all. What I would do is put "do not answer" on your cell as his name of his contact. Cut off all contact and do not respond to any of his. Or one last time, tell him you wish him well, but to please not contact you again, forever!
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