MalachiX Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I'll try to make things as brief as possible. I was in a 2.5 relationship with a girl, the last year and a half was long distance. I was depressed and she broke up with me because I was ignoring her and not making plans for us to be together. A few days later, she called back in the "forgiving" voice and I told her that she was better of without me. We had a few awful phone calls. Then, for a few weeks, we spoke like we were still together, just not saying, "I love you" and it seemed we might mend. Then, five weeks ago, she cut contact on her birthday. Wouldn't return my calls. Returned one e-mail just to say she was busy and none since. About a week ago, right after I'd written her a long e-mail saying how much I missed her, I saw she was listed on Facebook as back with her previous boyfriend (the one who was supposedly gay and lives even further away from her than I do!). This hit me hard but, after a bit of panic, I saw it as a sign to move on. I met a girl at a cafe, got a number, and even though I don't want a serious relationship for a long time, decided it might be worth pursuing. Last night I felt good. I'd decided I was on the way to being over the relationship and also decided to take steps to deal with my depression. I even removed LoveShack from my bookmarks (no offense guys, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't using this place as a crutch to avoid the real world). Well, a few hours ago, I just had a sudden relapse. I was going to call the new girl I met and invite her to dinner after work. I STUPIDLY, let myself look at my EX's facebook page and there was no update. Logically, no update shouldn't affect me at all but, because I'm apparently a masochist, it's got my head spinning. She normally updated a lot so now I think she either was bluffing about being back with her EX BF (since, he was gay and lived further away than I did) or perhaps she's taken a trip to LA to see him and they're doing it right now! Things keep passing through my mind. What if she was just talking to her EX and she only listed him to get guys to stop bothering her (a rather annoying guy I'd previously met started stalking her the second he saw we broke up on Facebook). What if she thought about getting back with this guy but my letter made her re-think things? I know these are totally nuts thoughts but they won't go away. I'd really like to go out with this new girl soon (hopefully tonight) but I may not be in the right state of mind. It's like I'm stuck in Catch 22. If I go out with her, perhaps we sleep together, and I realize my EX really wanted me back, now I've pretty much insured it'll never work again. Or, I could stay home like a loser praying she still loves me while she's actually in LA with someone else. Could someone just slap me across the face or something and tell me how to get my head together?
iwish Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 *slap*, just go out with the new girl tonight.. it'll take your mind of things, and i'm sure you wont even think about your ex until you're alone again.. cross that bridge when you come to it.. just go out and relax, you don't have to have sex... just have fun! it's better than sitting at home miserable.
sedgwick Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 It's like I'm stuck in Catch 22. If I go out with her, perhaps we sleep together, and I realize my EX really wanted me back, now I've pretty much insured it'll never work again. Or, I could stay home like a loser praying she still loves me while she's actually in LA with someone else. What if you went out with her and just had a good time and DIDN'T sleep with her? That's an option too, y'know.
Chanke4252 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 yah, just go out. even if you end up having sex with this girl I don't understand how it's any of your ex's business. you guys are not together now, do what you want. do not make decisions based on the possibility that you MAY get back together with your ex, even if you think she may be playing a game to make you jealous or something.
Author MalachiX Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 Thanks guys. The freak out has passed. What if you went out with her and just had a good time and DIDN'T sleep with her? That's an option too, y'know. Are telling me that Maxim has lead me astray?
sedgwick Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Are telling me that Maxim has lead me astray? I am indeed. Sorry to shatter your faith in sexist mass media.
City_girl Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 slap and double slap.....I also think you should go out with the girl but be careful with her, tell her you have this emotional baggage, don't let her think there's a chance of a serious thing if you cannot offer that at this point. Be clear so that she doesnt get used and you don't work out your issues in her life. women are almost always looking for an emotional connecton, we say we aren't but we are, deep down we are all little girls who want the fairytale no matter how old or carreer orientated we are. Be clear and it might work out. I wouldn't look back , your ex doesn't want to be with you and you need to work through that
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