martini102 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I don't really know where to start. I am about to finish my degree at uni, and in these past few weeks everything in my life has kinda gone mad all at once. I broke up with a guy I had been with for three years, eight months ago now... and had been seeing someone else, however he turned out not to want to be in a relationship and I havent spoken to him since he told me this a couple of weeks ago. So I am now totally alone... I had organized an internship over Easter holidays with a magazine, I have exams and final essays to givein in a few months but thought I could manage both, I found myself not being able to manage and so had to quit, so I could get on with uni work for my finals. I just feel at the moment that I have no idea where my life is going. Im not sure if I am going to do very well in my degree and I have no idea what I am going to do when I finish. My parent are being very unsupportive, my dad told me that if I dont get a 2.1 I am useless, he is a very successful rich man himself and that he wont want to come to my graduation. He is putting pressure on me to sweat it out in order to get results. He also said i can forget finding a boyfriend or husband because nobody wants someone who can even get a good degree. How he put it is that no succesful rich man like me would ever want to bother with someone like you, your just not good enough. I have been working in a boutique since I was young and have recently been offered a management position and a share in the business, I would also be going buying etc etc. I love working there and at the moment I see no harm in trying it out as I have nothing else lined up. My parents are however not happy about this and it is just not good enough for them. I did work experience with a art auction house last summer and they feel I should do an internship with them, even though I dont know anything about art and want to go into fashion. I have liuved my wholelife trying to please my parents, going to the uni they wanted me to got to, dumping any boyfriends they didnt approve of and I am starting to feel that unless I abide by every thing they want me to do and i let them basically plan my life for me I will not be good enough for them. I still live at home and wont be able to afford to move out for a fw years until i start earning properly, but I just dont know what to do.Do they have my best interests at heart or do they just care about what there rich friends think, my parents care much about reputation and what others think. Should I listen to them or should I make my own choices. The thing is they make me feel like I am not capable of making my own choices. Im starting to worry that maybe I am not capable. On top of all this, I have been spending alot of time with this guy who has a girlfriend recenty Nothing has happened but I just suddenly started developed feelings for him , even though I have known him a while. I just feel sso confused and messed up.any tips anyone???????
justagirlforever Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 (edited) Crikey you have some heavy pressure stuff to deal with! First of all, it's simply not true that no one ("worthy and decent") is NOT going to interested in you if you don't hold excellent results with a good degree. How shallow and materialistic! Are you signed up to study something you're really intersted in? If not, take your time and do what you ARE interested in. Follow your dream. And if you don't have one - take your time until you figure it out. It's hard when the pressure is on, I'm sure. I was lucky enough to have the scope to do as I wish and be supported. Where I came from, all the girls went to uni to get a "good degree", because that's where you'd find a "good man". In essence, they didn't go to study and start a career. They went to find a "good husband". What do you want? A husband and no career - a stay-at-home mom with kids? Or figure it out as you go along and live your life? Neither choice is right nor wrong. Do what will make you happy. The world is your oyster - and sometimes it's confusing when you have soooo many choices and options. And it's difficult when you feel the pressure and obligation. But take your time. And most importantly of all, (respectfully) make your own choices. And understand that sometimes the choices we make, don't go as planned or hoped. But that's life. We learn with hindsight and through our own mistakes. We don't learn by following someone else's lead. Good luck! Edited April 4, 2008 by justagirlforever
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