Fun2BMe Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Now that I am starting to see through my now ex-therapist, I am turning back to my ex bf, ready to forgive him and ask to be forgiven. I wrote up an email spilling my heart about how my T abused me - is it a good idea to send it to him, so he knows where I'm coming from? We 'reunited' going out last night - I was feeling down but didn't tell him why, and now i have it all written up in an email. Is it a good idea to send it to him? It's only a 2 paragraph email so he knows how I feel about the T who he warned me about and so he forgives me for leaving him for him. Will it make me look weaker or stronger in his eyes? Good idea or bad? help!! I'ts in my draft box, ready to send!
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Give it two weeks before you send it. Don't look at it for two weeks - after two weeks, read it again and see if you are still feeling what you wrote. If you are, then send it. If not, make some changes and give yourself a day or two to decide to send it. Sometimes when you write with your heart, it takes a week or two for the head to catch up. No sense in sending something until your head and heart are in agreement.
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 (edited) I wrote the original version early this morning - it took me hours to revise it over and over...i cut the length a lot, removed a lot...now it is very brief and to the point and if it's a good idea ot send, that's the version I'll send...I just want feedback if it's a good idea. I think then he'll know where I'm coming from, what happened and so on and I can get his guidance - he's a smart man and very forgiving, already took me back (we are not romantic though but now very good friends and I'm ok with that) - I think he might be more understanding to know what I went through. edit - I just sent the email and am very nervous at how he will reply! With compassion or indifference or anger or ? Edited April 4, 2008 by Fun2BMe
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Congrats on giving the T the boot. All you can do is see what happens. You spoke from your heart then you did the right thing and if you ex knows you and wants any sort of friendship with you, he'll see this and understand. BUT, if he does get pissed off or gives you attitude, then maybe a friendship with him isn't a good idea. Might be best to leave some things (people!) in the past. FUN, I know it's been a rough 10+ months for you! Again, congrats on ending it with the T.
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 FUN, I know it's been a rough 10+ months for you! Again, congrats on ending it with the T. I can't thank the people here esp. you and LB enough for opening my eyes, as hard as it was and as rebelious and in denial as I was about it. It was the feedback here that made me start seeing him in a different light and canceling appointments, even if I relapsed and went back. It's been very long and painful, but I feel the end of him has been officially finalized though the hurt is not gone, and the idea he didn't really love me still hurts to face, how he could lie and use me and took so much money from me in the process...what a fool i was:o
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Just promise me one thing! DON'T EVER go back to your T!!! You're welcome and I'm glad to help, even if it took longer than it should've for you to get out..BUT - YOU DID get out and for that, the healing can take place. Don't ever let what happened with the T ruin you! You are better than that and he is a f*ked up man in so many ways. HE should've known better and he manipulated you, used alot against you. You're gonna be OK. Just sucks about the $$...THOUGH, you could put a lawsuit on him....Just a thought!
Author Fun2BMe Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Just promise me one thing! DON'T EVER go back to your T!!! You're welcome and I'm glad to help, even if it took longer than it should've for you to get out..BUT - YOU DID get out and for that, the healing can take place. Don't ever let what happened with the T ruin you! You are better than that and he is a f*ked up man in so many ways. HE should've known better and he manipulated you, used alot against you. You're gonna be OK. Just sucks about the $$...THOUGH, you could put a lawsuit on him....Just a thought! My ex finally called and we talked about it on the phone. He sounded very concerned and understanding and felt about about it especially since he had referred me to him. I feel better all around now, like a heavy burdon has been lifted off my shoulders. He said he will support me if I decide to press charges against him or if I want to move on but he said that knowing me, he thinks I would not be able to move on if I just let it go without taking any action. We'll see, but for the time being it feels good to finally move away from and his influence.
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Great! I hope you get the support you need through family as well and go after that T.
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