Maggs Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Hi everyone! Here's my story...my BF & I have been together a little over a year. I met him when I was living in the UK but because my visa expired I had to move back to Canada. We've been apart now for nearly 2 months and we'll only see each other maybe 4 or 5 times a year. Looks like we'll be doing this LDR for 1-2 yrs anyway. Okay here's my concern. And I'm sure every other woman on here feels the same way sometimes too! BF & I generally send an email everyday, sometimes get to chat on MSN as well, maybe talk on the phone once or twice a week. I find it hard only sometimes as I don't feel like we even have a normal relationship anymore. It's a quick email of hi, how are you, how's your day been, bye. I wish I could make him understand that sometimes a longer email or writing a letter/postcard or even not typing another email to someone else when we're on the phone together is important to me! Most times when we're talking, he's busy typing away and I just get irritated and think come on now, this is our time to talk. Why can't you just concentrate on me for 5 minutes?? I know sometimes a quick email is all we can muster for a few days when things are super busy but I try to make time everyday for him. I send him cards and little notes but thinks if he does it for me, it's just pointless and he never has any time for it. I don't know. Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I just feel like I would love for him to show me that he's taken an extra few min. of a day to write me a note or send me a little gift. I've tried to tell him but he just doesn't understand and ends up getting upset at me if I'm sad. I just feel if we're not going to see each other very often, then little things like that would be important in our relationship. Is there anything I can do?! Or am I just destined to having a LDR via email and pretty much nothing else! Thanks everyone!
pdslt Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 You're not being unreasonable at all, you're just seeking reassurance as everyone is going to need in a long distance relationship like the one you're in. It makes sense to make the most of what you have. Two months is still early days, don't panick yet. He may just be really busy, this doesn't mean you're on the out. Be a little careful, if you begin to demonstrate to him that you're becoming insecure and needy, it can have the opposite effect to what you want. He's obviously more comfortable with the situation than what you are, and by demonstrating to him that you're becoming needy feeds his reassurance and will make him more comfortable. You may then be less likely to get the reassurance you need.
Author Maggs Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 You're not being unreasonable at all, you're just seeking reassurance as everyone is going to need in a long distance relationship like the one you're in. It makes sense to make the most of what you have. Two months is still early days, don't panick yet. He may just be really busy, this doesn't mean you're on the out. Be a little careful, if you begin to demonstrate to him that you're becoming insecure and needy, it can have the opposite effect to what you want. He's obviously more comfortable with the situation than what you are, and by demonstrating to him that you're becoming needy feeds his reassurance and will make him more comfortable. You may then be less likely to get the reassurance you need. Thanks for you reply. It's hard to find an even balance in an LDR especially when one person wants more contact than the other. I'm having a hard time trying to grasp how the relationship is going to continue rather stay at a standstill even though we're apart. And seeing as how we won't see each other, I feel that's very important for us. It's hard to strike the right balance.
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