nymphetgrown Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I'm twenty-two, and I really can't see what's so great about most guys under about thirty-five or so. I've been around enough of them not to want to bother. I'm usually bored with them; I need more of a mental challenge, an intellectual match. (To give you some idea: most of my friends are professors.) I would like chemistry, and I'm sorry, but beardless youths just don't cut it in that respect. He needs to look like a man, not a boy. I'd prefer experience in the sexual arena; I'm one away from virgin myself, but I've been writing erotica since I was sixteen and exploring my sexual nature since... oh, call it eleven. Teasing, not eight-armed hugs; hints of tongue, not a whole ruddy slug in my mouth. You know? Am I crazy? Is this even remotely normal -- and the big question: is this achievable?
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I'm twenty-two, and I really can't see what's so great about most guys under about thirty-five or so. I've been around enough of them not to want to bother. I'm usually bored with them; I need more of a mental challenge, an intellectual match. (To give you some idea: most of my friends are professors.) I would like chemistry, and I'm sorry, but beardless youths just don't cut it in that respect. He needs to look like a man, not a boy. I'd prefer experience in the sexual arena; I'm one away from virgin myself, but I've been writing erotica since I was sixteen and exploring my sexual nature since... oh, call it eleven. Teasing, not eight-armed hugs; hints of tongue, not a whole ruddy slug in my mouth. You know? Am I crazy? Is this even remotely normal -- and the big question: is this achievable? Not you're not crazy.. Some prefer younger men (I do) and some prefer older guys... btdt.. never again.. I rather be a baby-sitter than a nurse.. lol You're 22 and wondering if it is achievable to get older guys... oh my-my.. just try it one time.. they'll all be at your feet..
Gold Pile Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 You're 22 and wondering if it is achievable to get older guys... oh my-my.. just try it one time.. they'll all be at your feet.. I'm there!
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I'm there! Hahaha.. see GP is available.. Told you..
Author nymphetgrown Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 You're 22 and wondering if it is achievable to get older guys... oh my-my.. just try it one time.. they'll all be at your feet.. Yeah, but he turned out to be married.
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Yeah, but he turned out to be married. Hey.. older guys.. most are married..
stillafool Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I like Lizzie would rather be the babysitter but to each his own. I don't think it is weird that you like older men. At 22 you certainly won't have a problem getting an older guy, just wear a t-shirt saying "I'm 22". Enjoy!!!
Rooster_DAR Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Hey.. older guys.. most are married.. I'm older and not married. When I broke up with my EX I thought my life had expired and was too old to start over. Now that I've been single for a year and a half I realized I'm just getting started. I have always dated women quite younger than myself, now I'm dating a woman half my age.
fral945 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'm twenty-two, and I really can't see what's so great about most guys under about thirty-five or so. I've been around enough of them not to want to bother. I'm usually bored with them; I need more of a mental challenge, an intellectual match. (To give you some idea: most of my friends are professors.) I would like chemistry, and I'm sorry, but beardless youths just don't cut it in that respect. He needs to look like a man, not a boy. I'd prefer experience in the sexual arena; I'm one away from virgin myself, but I've been writing erotica since I was sixteen and exploring my sexual nature since... oh, call it eleven. Teasing, not eight-armed hugs; hints of tongue, not a whole ruddy slug in my mouth. You know? Am I crazy? Is this even remotely normal -- and the big question: is this achievable? No, you're not crazy. Yes, it is very achievable. I can relate. Only difference is I'm a guy, lol. Most women I meet in my age group (mid 20s) are not a match for me intellectually. Sure, I could find a 20 year old, but a pretty face and a hot body will only keep me around so long. It's hard to hold meaningful or stimulating conversations/discussions with someone who wants to talk about the latest episode of American Idol and what Holywood star is dating who. It'll be easier for you at your age. Older men are always after younger girls, I can't think of a man who wouldn't want a younger woman. Just walk outside your front door. Now that I think about it, maybe it'll get better for me as I get older. Then I can look forward to dating younger women like you. P.S. Don't knock us clean cut babyfaces (I'm one of them). I'm a man in every other way.
dogtown Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'm twenty-two, and I really can't see what's so great about most guys under about thirty-five or so. I've been around enough of them not to want to bother. I'm usually bored with them; I need more of a mental challenge, an intellectual match. (To give you some idea: most of my friends are professors.) I would like chemistry, and I'm sorry, but beardless youths just don't cut it in that respect. He needs to look like a man, not a boy. I'd prefer experience in the sexual arena; I'm one away from virgin myself, but I've been writing erotica since I was sixteen and exploring my sexual nature since... oh, call it eleven. Teasing, not eight-armed hugs; hints of tongue, not a whole ruddy slug in my mouth. You know? Am I crazy? Is this even remotely normal -- and the big question: is this achievable? Ha. Just judging from your screenname and post you lack the maturity to be with anyone older than you. You're only friends with professors? Let me guess, you have very few friends and you're in all likelyhood an onlychild. I would imagine you have a pretty messed up past too. Yeah, the older guys will use you, but you lack the life experience to be in a extended relationship with anyone at a professorial intellectual level. Right now you just sound like the loner student who is about to get screwed by her professor. So cliche. I wish you the best, but you definately have a "too cool for school" mentality. Your next move should be to seek counseling and I'm not kidding in the least. Sit down and talk to a professional about your abnormal feelings. Good luck.
stillafool Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Your next move should be to seek counseling and I'm not kidding in the least. Sit down and talk to a professional about your abnormal feelings. Is it abnormal for a young woman to be attracted to older men?
Author nymphetgrown Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Just judging from your screenname and post you lack the maturity to be with anyone older than you. So my other best friends are books. Is that a crime, or shall I be some variation on babygrl4eva until I turn thirty? I have a reason for using the screenname I do, and it has a lot to do with another situation in my life right now. You're only friends with professors? Let me guess, you have very few friends and you're in all likelyhood an onlychild. I would imagine you have a pretty messed up past too. Good guess. Now, take a minute and consider why someone raised around adults would find it difficult to relate to a lot of what her generation is interested in. Account for the complete disinterest in heavy drinking, drugs, and shakin' it on the dance floor. I am no longer incapacitated by my "messed up past" (goodness, what a glib way to write off a person's experiences) and am, in fact, solidly on my way to a career in academia. Gee, that might be one other reason I like being around academics. Yeah, the older guys will use you, but you lack the life experience to be in a extended relationship with anyone at a professorial intellectual level. With all due respect, sir or madam, you have just made one hell of an assumption. What, for you, constitutes life experience? I don't live on my own -- I'm close with my family, and I've devoted too much time to schoolwork for a job. I don't own a car -- we cannot afford a third or lend out the second. I'm taking my time with my education -- at least I'll have gotten the terminal degree in my field before I'm fifty. My father, due to his own "life experiences", waited that long to start. I have watched my family come together, fall apart, and come together again. We have dealt with financial crises and windfalls alike. We have mourned and we have celebrated births. I have seen my generation's war begin and not end, remembering all the while that my father's generation knew this very pain. I have voted whenever possible, since it became possible. Short of inventing a time machine, I can assure you I've squeezed as much experience into these twenty-two years as I could. What did I miss, given the temporal and financial constraints? Right now you just sound like the loner student who is about to get screwed by her professor. So cliche. You couldn't be further from the truth there. My gods. They respect me because I have a mind, not because I have a body. Because I am brave enough to reach for a career, because I'm always looking for ways to make it happen. I'm not stuck in an endless social whirl. Is that, too, a crime? Sit down and talk to a professional about your abnormal feelings. I've been in counseling. This issue has always been a non-issue for said professionals. Good luck. I will choose to accept that as a genuine wish, and reciprocate: good luck to you on your own journey.
Author nymphetgrown Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 No, you're not crazy. Yes, it is very achievable. I can relate. Only difference is I'm a guy, lol. Most women I meet in my age group (mid 20s) are not a match for me intellectually. Sure, I could find a 20 year old, but a pretty face and a hot body will only keep me around so long. It's hard to hold meaningful or stimulating conversations/discussions with someone who wants to talk about the latest episode of American Idol and what Holywood star is dating who. I get you there. Pretty is nice, but minds are what seal the deal. Plus, in time, pretty goes away. The relationship has to endure past the initial "whoooooeeee! I'm havin' sex!" It'll be easier for you at your age. Older men are always after younger girls, I can't think of a man who wouldn't want a younger woman. Just walk outside your front door. Let me try that one when the weather warms up. We have some wicked cold winters here. Now that I think about it, maybe it'll get better for me as I get older. Then I can look forward to dating younger women like you. There are also slightly older women who don't mind younger men, gorgeously intelligent ones who will talk about their studies or their causes over coffee. And there's Lizzie (said with love and a nod to her own comment above). P.S. Don't knock us clean cut babyfaces (I'm one of them). I'm a man in every other way. One of these days, perhaps one will come along that can sway me. My mind is quite open to possibilities of all kinds...
dogtown Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 (edited) So my other best friends are books. Is that a crime, or shall I be some variation on babygrl4eva until I turn thirty? I have a reason for using the screenname I do, and it has a lot to do with another situation in my life right now. Interesting. Well, how about a neutral name, like mine or anyone elses on this thread. Believe it or not, your screenname says worlds about you. Good guess. Now, take a minute and consider why someone raised around adults would find it difficult to relate to a lot of what her generation is interested in. Account for the complete disinterest in heavy drinking, drugs, and shakin' it on the dance floor. Actually, it was a pretty easy guess. But fair enough. The more I think about it, you're right, you probably won't ever be able to relate to someone your age given your life circumstances and I can't fault you for that. However, you seem intelligent and introspective enough to realize that being a 22 year old and dating professors is not healthy or realistic. I also take offense to the fact that all people our age (I'm 25) party and do drugs. I put myself through college and grad school and never partook in said activities (aside from the occaisional drink). With all due respect, sir or madam, you have just made one hell of an assumption. What, for you, constitutes life experience? I don't live on my own -- I'm close with my family, and I've devoted too much time to schoolwork for a job. I don't own a car -- we cannot afford a third or lend out the second. I'm taking my time with my education -- at least I'll have gotten the terminal degree in my field before I'm fifty. My father, due to his own "life experiences", waited that long to start. I have watched my family come together, fall apart, and come together again. We have dealt with financial crises and windfalls alike. We have mourned and we have celebrated births. I have seen my generation's war begin and not end, remembering all the while that my father's generation knew this very pain. I have voted whenever possible, since it became possible. Short of inventing a time machine, I can assure you I've squeezed as much experience into these twenty-two years as I could. What did I miss, given the temporal and financial constraints? And this is different from other 22 year olds how? You're 22, you don't know s**t - I don't care what life experiences you've been through. Your brain is not even fully developed yet. Go talk to your psych professor about that. (And did you really reference the war?) I will choose to accept that as a genuine wish, and reciprocate: good luck to you on your own journey. To what end are you chasing these professors and older men? You are aware of the taboo among professors in regards to having relationships with students, right? I was torn as to whether or not to reply to this. Whatever I write will probably not change you. I'm actually interested in what field you are pursuing? I'm assuming you're an undergrad, and if you love academia as much as it sounds then hopefully you'll continue a career in grad school. Ok, in all sincerity, I do wish you well. I sound harsh, but the road you are going down...well the odds are against you. You're definately smart intellectually, but the questionable side is your emotions. Edited April 6, 2008 by dogtown
Curmudgeon Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 It'll be easier for you at your age. Older men are always after younger girls, I can't think of a man who wouldn't want a younger woman. Just walk outside your front door. I'm older. I'm not afetr younger girls. I wouldn't really want one! If I merely wanted a fling then young flesh, a tight body and infinite energy would likely be quite enticing in the short run. However, for the long-haul I much prefer women at or near my own age. We can relate. We've experienced much the same in terms of world history, societal upheavals, music, films, television (which wasn't even available when I was born), et al. Young may be nice between the sheets but what do you talk about afterwards? That may be why, at age 50 and divorced, and with a fair number of women interested in me, some of whom were considerably younger, I opted for a friend of 48. That was almost 12 years ago and we still have things to talk about.
Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Is it abnormal for a young woman to be attracted to older men? WOW abnormal is a BIG word.. From what I read here.. she is a very mature and intelligent young woman. My daughter had 2 boyfriends, the first was 18 years older (she was 18) and the second one is almost 40.. she's now 32. they've been together for the last 10 years and they're very happy.. new parents.. and I should add that my daughter is very intelligent.. and she didn't think the younger guys were at her level.. Both her bf were/are professionals.
MoonlightLover Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 (edited) Ha. Just judging from your screenname and post you lack the maturity to be with anyone older than you. You're only friends with professors? Let me guess, you have very few friends and you're in all likelyhood an onlychild. I would imagine you have a pretty messed up past too. Yeah, the older guys will use you, but you lack the life experience to be in a extended relationship with anyone at a professorial intellectual level. Right now you just sound like the loner student who is about to get screwed by her professor. So cliche. I wish you the best, but you definately have a "too cool for school" mentality. Your next move should be to seek counseling and I'm not kidding in the least. Sit down and talk to a professional about your abnormal feelings. Good luck. Harsh and a little too judgemental there my dear. The crush on an older man or woman thing isn't abnormal. Also a relationship with an older person might give her the experience to know what she does and doesn't want in a man. It's all about learning...and i'm guessing at 22 she's not looking to settle down and get married with the next guy she ends up with. All relationships have the potential to be harmful regardless of age. Ones preferences in the opposite sex are neither wrong or right. Young women tend to go for older men for the greater chance they will be treated better 'like a lady'...the chance they wont be cheated on is higher as the older man has probably been there and done all that and learnt from it in his youth (probably when he was her age) also alot of women have a mentality above their age and a guy their age can seem like a child to them...or even a guy 7 years older can seem younger than themselves mentally. Also a person can experience more things in 20 years of their life than most 40year olds have ever experienced in theirs. Thought i'd add that in there. Edited April 6, 2008 by MoonlightLover
Curmudgeon Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Harsh and a little too judgemental there my dear. The crush on an older man or woman thing isn't abnormal. Also a relationship with an older person might give her the experience to know what she does and doesn't want in a man. It's all about learning...and i'm guessing at 22 she's not looking to settle down and get married with the next guy she ends up with. All relationships have the potential to be harmful regardless of age. Ones preferences in the opposite sex are neither wrong or right. Young women tend to go for older men for the greater chance they will be treated better 'like a lady'...the chance they wont be cheated on is higher as the older man has probably been there and done all that and learnt from it in his youth (probably when he was her age) also alot of women have a mentality above their age and a guy their age can seem like a child to them...or even a guy 7 years older can seem younger than themselves mentally. Also a person can experience more things in 20 years of their life than most 40year olds have ever experienced in theirs. Thought i'd add that in there. I married a woman who was five years younger than me (a big deal at the time of the marriage) and it was ultimately a disaster. I was "courted" by a woman about five years older than me and that would have been a disaster. She was "needy." I've found that women around my age are best for me but others have had success with the other two scenarios. Different strokes, et al!
MoonlightLover Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I married a woman who was five years younger than me (a big deal at the time of the marriage) and it was ultimately a disaster. I was "courted" by a woman about five years older than me and that would have been a disaster. She was "needy." I've found that women around my age are best for me but others have had success with the other two scenarios. Different strokes, et al! Someone agrees with me, thankyou!
Cov Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Not you're not crazy.. Some prefer younger men (I do) and some prefer older guys... btdt.. never again.. I rather be a baby-sitter than a nurse.. lol You're 22 and wondering if it is achievable to get older guys... oh my-my.. just try it one time.. they'll all be at your feet.. Do you hook up with 19 year olds? I prefer older women whilst my friend's who are 18 and 19, prefer younger girls in the age range of 17, 18 and sometimes their own age. I personally don't bother with those girls, I look at girls in their early, mid and late twenties and thirties and believe some of these women are to die for. I've managed to attract an older women of around four and a half years and she is incredible, we're still in the dating sessions, but after meeting her, it's older women for me all the way. I say go for it, but remember get an older man with a high sex drive, there's nothing worse than an experienced man who is tired of sex.
carhill Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I get you there. Pretty is nice, but minds are what seal the deal. Plus, in time, pretty goes away. The relationship has to endure past the initial "whoooooeeee! I'm havin' sex!" I'm very interested in this nuance. Have you explored the reasons for your perspective? For me, the mind is ever mysterious, ever changing, ever unpredictable, ever evolving, ever expanding. Fall in love with the mind and it's a timeless thing, exceeding and obviating existence. Yeah, I'm an only (child) and more than twice your age (and male). I get where you're coming from. Find an appropriate guy (I'd avoid a direct professor) and give it a whirl. I think the experience would be beneficial. The titillation of romance can be a many splendored thing
Milan721 Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 If I were you OP, I'd feel the same way. Heck, if I were single, I'd probably never date anyone under 40 at least. My reasons might be a little different though. It would be nice to settle down with someone who has experienced enough of life and has made enough mistakes to appreciate something good when they have it. In that case the "over 40" that I'd be looking for probably wouldn't be looking for someone my age either!
sugarsoul Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 I'm twenty-two, and I really can't see what's so great about most guys under about thirty-five or so. I've been around enough of them not to want to bother. I'm usually bored with them; I need more of a mental challenge, an intellectual match. (To give you some idea: most of my friends are professors.) I would like chemistry, and I'm sorry, but beardless youths just don't cut it in that respect. He needs to look like a man, not a boy. I'd prefer experience in the sexual arena; I'm one away from virgin myself, but I've been writing erotica since I was sixteen and exploring my sexual nature since... oh, call it eleven. Teasing, not eight-armed hugs; hints of tongue, not a whole ruddy slug in my mouth. You know? Am I crazy? Is this even remotely normal -- and the big question: is this achievable? I am also the same age as you, and I have a boyfriend who is 6 years older than me and a Ph.D. So it is possible! we have been dating for 4 years now, so it's definitely not just a fling. it all depends on who you surround yourself with. Older men doesn't always equate to maturity. You could meet a guy in his 30's but he could be immature as well. or you could meet someone in his late 20's who is successful, goal-oriented and very mature for his age. you never know so don't give up!
Trialbyfire Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 The only problem I see, is that people, men and women under 25, tend not to be settled in who they are or what they want, regardless if they believe so. OP, you might find that partying and shaking it on the dance floor isn't for you now...but...once you've had a real taste of it, might change your mind. An older man in the same stage as you, is no big deal, I think. When you switch stages, what happens to him? Something to consider.
sumdude Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 Age and maturity don't always go hand in hand. So go with what works for you. Just think about repercussions as time goes on. The hardest thing when ages are very different is finding similar interests and common ground. I'm 40.. tend to act and look 30-ish.. ideally i would love to find a younger woman with a sharp mind and maturity. Somewhat rare but they're out there.... then again they are at all ages. I think in most cases you'll find the man being 5 - 10 + years older than the woman in an LTR.. totally natural.
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