shanny Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 If I were on a dating site and a profile said that you have money and are willing to spend it on a girl...I would think that you are some sort of criminal trying to rope naive girls in and then chop them into little bits and dump them in the woods. Seriously creepy. That's just my take on it. I truly don't believe that there is such thing as "ugly". If you are not the type that girls generally swoon over though, you need to use your personality, not money to attract women. I have dated several guys that I didn't think were all that great looking, but as I got to know them and their great personality they became very attractive to me. You are taking the wrong approach. Be honest on your profiles online... that's the only way you are going to find someone who likes you for you, not the sugar daddy that you are making yourself out to be.
SidCaesar Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Since this is my first post in this forum I guess I should give a little introduction before I get to my topic. I'm 25 years old (just turned recently), hold a masters degree and am pretty sucessful for my age (money and career wise). I however broke up with my ex about a year ago for reasons I don't want to get into and I really suck at meeting women so I turned to online dating. Well I had a legitimate profile with pictures on multiple sites for about 6 months now with extremely poor success (about 0.1% of women respond to my emails and I've had no dates in the 6 months I've been doing this). I'm not fat or even overweight, I (think) I dress pretty nice, keep myself clean, so the only conclusion that I can come up with is that I'm just genuinely ugly. Combined with the fact that I lack and carisma and suck at meeting women in RL, I decided to just try to use money to meet women. This, however, is NOT working either... I basically put in my profile that I have money and am willing to spend it on you... but I'm still getting no interest. Yes I know only gold diggers will respond to those type of profiles but at this point I don't really care, I just want someone to spend my time with. I'm wondering what else I can do? What else will attract women besides money? How else can I use money to get women? I'm sure there are tons of guys in my situation, probably on this very forum. I'd appretiate any advise. Thanks. #1, using dating sites and what not is not the answer. #2 if you want to use money to attract women, you don't do it in the way you're doing. You don't get to know them first, online, or wherever, and then drop clues about your successfulness. #3 While picking up women by showing off your money works, I'm not really advocating it and must warn you that the caliber of women you're likely to get is not going to be spectacular. But, that being said, if that's what you want to do I'm not going to stop you. The great thing about using money as a pick-up is that you don't have to do any of the work...you let your possessions, appearance, etc. speak for you. The idea is to ATTRACT them with your stuff, not go up to them, do a bunch of work, and try and pick them up. Always works, every time. If you're reasonably good looking, dress nice, nice car, etc., and you live in a community where human females also live, you're going to get some kind of contact. It's up to you to act on it. So, my advice is, get the hell off the internet and into the real world. It's a wonderful, happy place, with loads of attractive women who give you looks as you walk down the street, and you can just feel good and smile back or do whatever it is your masters-degree holding self pleases. The world ought to be your oyster...stop being frustrated with the abysmal pit that is online dating. Real life beckons!
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I say.. sell a lifestyle just like one poster said.. well said btw.. but it's got to be true.. don't sell something you don't have.. don't say you have a Lamborghini.. if you don't have one.. that would make you look like a desperate 'loser'.. Go to a library.. sometimes.. these girls are 'book worms' cause they just can't attract males.. they might be in the same situation you are. It's not easy.... but don't think that you're not getting women cause you're 'ugly'.. look at Donald Trump, Pierre Péladeau (dead now).. and other rich guys.. they get beautiful women. Just be confident.. lack of confidence is even worst than being 'ugly'.. even for a great looking guy.. it's just such a turn-off.. Go, see a 'life coach' who can help you with your self confidence..
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 Thanks for the support and encouragement to stop using money/internet dating to get women and to go out and talk to women in real life, but I don't think you guys understand that I have a serious psycological illness when it comes to talking to strange women I don't know. It's not just something I can "fix" or "man up" about, it's a real, legitimate illness I was born with and I can't do anything about and I will likely never grow out of. Here is more info on the illness for people who will doubt me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness I have already come to terms and accepted what this means. I got extremely lucky getting my last girlfriend, but my circumstances were different since I had a lot more friends back then and was a full time college student, so I was intoduced to a lot more women with me having to seek them out. My circumstances are a lot different these days, no more school, was less friends, full time job, etc. No more free ride. And because my close friends are married and because of my illness I will have to resort to internet dating sites to meet women or I won't be meeting any women at all. Yes this is sad but this is the situation life has given me and I have to work with it. Anyhow yes in a perfect world I woud like not to use money to get women, but this is the real world and putting up a normal, honest profile doesnt cut it unless you are brad pitt. That is the real world we live in these days and I have to play by the rules.
TheFonz Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 My circumstances are a lot different these days, no more school, was less friends, full time job, etc. No more free ride. And because my close friends are married and because of my illness I will have to resort to internet dating sites to meet women or I won't be meeting any women at all. Yes this is sad but this is the situation life has given me and I have to work with it. Anyhow yes in a perfect world I woud like not to use money to get women, but this is the real world and putting up a normal, honest profile doesnt cut it unless you are brad pitt. That is the real world we live in these days and I have to play by the rules. And I suggested focusing on the Internet dating and how we you might be able to get it to work for you, and you totally ignored my post. I think you just want to complain and not really try to find solutions.
shanny Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Anyhow yes in a perfect world I woud like not to use money to get women, but this is the real world and putting up a normal, honest profile doesnt cut it unless you are brad pitt. That is the real world we live in these days and I have to play by the rules. Come on now! Do you really think that money is the most important thing to women? It's not. Women, just like men, want to be loved. Yes, there are golddiggers out there that just want money, but YOU DO NOT WANT THEM! You are settling due to low self esteem. Who cares if you are not Brad Pitt? Women meet and fall in love with average guys every day. You may see yourself as average, but one day, with honesty from your part, someone will see you as their Brad Pitt. There are so many other more important factors that women look for in men than money. I'm sure you have some of them. Focus on those, not the money. And for God's sake cheer up and feel better about yourself!
TheFonz Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Come on now! Do you really think that money is the most important thing to women? It's not. Women, just like men, want to be loved. Yes, there are golddiggers out there that just want money, but YOU DO NOT WANT THEM! You are settling due to low self esteem. Who cares if you are not Brad Pitt? Women meet and fall in love with average guys every day. You may see yourself as average, but one day, with honesty from your part, someone will see you as their Brad Pitt. There are so many other more important factors that women look for in men than money. I'm sure you have some of them. Focus on those, not the money. And for God's sake cheer up and feel better about yourself! He said himself that having money alone doesn't help. If he doesn't have a problem he needs to change then why is he so alone?
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 And I suggested focusing on the Internet dating and how we you might be able to get it to work for you, and you totally ignored my post. I think you just want to complain and not really try to find solutions. Sorry, I was not ignoring your post, I was responding in general terms to things that have been posted while I was gone so I didnt have to respond to every individual post. Please don't take my post as me just trying to complain because I assure you this is NOT the case. Right now the two sites that I am using are okcupid and plenty of fish. I have my legitimate profile on okcupid and I recently changed my profile on plenty of fish to the money profile. I wanted to keep a real profile up on okcupid just incase I luck out and someone takes interest in it. When i send out messages I generally just start up random conversation based off something on their profiles or I will send them an IM and chat with them based off their profiles. In general I say I get about 1 reply to every 40-50 message I send and people repond to my IMs about 20% of the time (I am not sure why IMing women is much more sucessful than email).
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 Come on now! Do you really think that money is the most important thing to women? It's not. Women, just like men, want to be loved. Yes, there are golddiggers out there that just want money, but YOU DO NOT WANT THEM! You are settling due to low self esteem. Who cares if you are not Brad Pitt? Women meet and fall in love with average guys every day. You may see yourself as average, but one day, with honesty from your part, someone will see you as their Brad Pitt. There are so many other more important factors that women look for in men than money. I'm sure you have some of them. Focus on those, not the money. And for God's sake cheer up and feel better about yourself! Don't worry, I learned through experimentation that you are right, women don't like money either because as I stated using money isn't working either...but in all honest I think it's my technique as people have pointed out already in this thread. In real life, yes it's much easier to be sucessful being an average guy so I agree with you women do get with average guys all the time. The problem is that doesnt transfer to the online world, where it seem money isnt enough either.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Right now the two sites that I am using are okcupid and plenty of fish. I have my legitimate profile on okcupid and I recently changed my profile on plenty of fish to the money profile. I wanted to keep a real profile up on okcupid just incase I luck out and someone takes interest in it. When i send out messages I generally just start up random conversation based off something on their profiles or I will send them an IM and chat with them based off their profiles. In general I say I get about 1 reply to every 40-50 message I send and people repond to my IMs about 20% of the time (I am not sure why IMing women is much more sucessful than email). OK I'm going to guess that you need a better pic. But without being linked to your page no one can really give you much specific feedback. I've never heard of okcupid, but I've heard mostly bad things about plentyoffish. I think you should try other types of online sights. I would never do it, but try eHarmony. When you do get a reply, you need to get her IM and number. Work her and try to get her to meet up in person.
Chinook Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Have you tried dinner/supper clubs..? There is less pressure on dating - and the chance to spend your time with people - female and male. You get to make friends. From the sounds of your original post, you need a work over in the confidence dept and joining a supper/dinner club will give you that. Everyone is there to do the same thing... and sooner or later, relationships tend to blossom.
Lizzie60 Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Oh the Fonz gave me an idea.. Try posting with someone's else pic.. take one from a magazine or catalogue, or on the Internet.. You'll see if it's your picture that is wrong.. Try it.. with the same profile.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Oh the Fonz gave me an idea.. Try posting with someone's else pic.. take one from a magazine or catalogue, or on the Internet.. You'll see if it's your picture that is wrong.. Try it.. with the same profile. If your pic is really good, it can make a night and day difference. Girls who wouldn't even answer your emails before will be practically throwing their pvssy at you. Loooks is king. You can also create a fake girl profile and she doesn't even have to be very attractive just average and guys will be throwing themselves at the fake girl more than Brad Pitt could get girls.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Have you tried dinner/supper clubs..? There is less pressure on dating - and the chance to spend your time with people - female and male. You get to make friends. From the sounds of your original post, you need a work over in the confidence dept and joining a supper/dinner club will give you that. Everyone is there to do the same thing... and sooner or later, relationships tend to blossom. It won't work. It's not the location that matters it's him sorry to say. No matter where he goes there's going to be guys like me who will out game him. And even if there's more girls than guys, the girls would rather do without and dream about their prince bad boy than go with him. He has to change himself not just the location.
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 OK I'm going to guess that you need a better pic. But without being linked to your page no one can really give you much specific feedback. I've never heard of okcupid, but I've heard mostly bad things about plentyoffish. I think you should try other types of online sights. I would never do it, but try eHarmony. When you do get a reply, you need to get her IM and number. Work her and try to get her to meet up in person. Yes and I've heard pretty bad things about eharmony... and that site (it's spelled site, not sight..) is very expensive. Not that I couldn't affort using it, but I also don't like to be scammed out of my money. Okcupid and plenty of fish is free, so there is really no loss using them besides my time. Maybe I do need a better pic, but as I stated earlier I'm not good looking so it's pretty much a wash. You guys admit yourself pics make a night and day difference. I agree, thats why I said if you're not brad pitt normal profiles don't cut it. Now you guys see why I'm trying to use money to get women. I don't have the looks and I have a psycological illness that prevents me from meeting women in the real world.
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Oh the Fonz gave me an idea.. Try posting with someone's else pic.. take one from a magazine or catalogue, or on the Internet.. You'll see if it's your picture that is wrong.. Try it.. with the same profile. What would be the point of that? I already know it's my looks, and it's not going to help me meet women.
Chinook Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Okcupid and plenty of fish is free, so there is really no loss using them besides my time. Um no offense, but I've used both those sites... and as the saying goes, 'you pay for what you get in this world' and in my experience, both those sites aren't that great.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 and that site (it's spelled site, not sight..) . OK don't correct my typos like that or I'm walking. That's uncool. I'll give you a tip you have to be cool and little phony (maybe a lot) if you want to attract women.
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 OK don't correct my typos like that or I'm walking. That's uncool. I'll give you a tip you have to be cool and little phony (maybe a lot) if you want to attract women. I'm not trying to be an *******, but that wasn't a typo, you used the wrong word. The only reason I corrected it is because a lot of people actually think "website" is really spelled "websight" and don't know the difference.
Author TechGuy145 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 Um no offense, but I've used both those sites... and as the saying goes, 'you pay for what you get in this world' and in my experience, both those sites aren't that great. I've been thinking this lately but I've actually done some research on the subject and the real problem is with pay sites is that a very small percentage of women who sign up with them actually pay, therefore are unable to read/reply/sent emails.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I'm not trying to be an *******, but that wasn't a typo, you used the wrong word. The only reason I corrected it is because a lot of people actually think "website" is really spelled "websight" and don't know the difference. I knew the difference. Thanks for the lesson anyway. I'm telling you that it is uncool to assume. A typo isn't just a misspelling, it can also be the substitution of a word phonetically or that may appear to be a popular misunderstanding of word usage. It's just a typing error. But my point is, while it's OK to be honest on here, when you actually trying to get girls you have to act cool, give the impression that you get girls, and be phony. Don't show them that you are lonely or pessimistic, women won't have sympathy for you, or at least sympathy won't get you anything real with them. Bottom line is you need to take a lot of different pics of yourself and pic the best ones, and stop assuming what other websites are like and try some different ones.
JosieMcCoy Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Right now, I just want a hot bod, some muscles, and a sense of humor! Money? I got me own! Cheers!
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Right now, I just want a hot bod, some muscles, and a sense of humor! Money? I got me own! Cheers! I guess techguy just needs to hit the gym and practice his jokes or laugh at yours. I'm thinking that it won't be that simple though.
TheFonz Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Techguy, here's how women go about their pics and online dating if you want an idea about how much you can do with pics : http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/
Gold Pile Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Here is the link, this subject was discussed in grhttp://www.loveshack.org/forums/t67784/?highlight=gold+diggerseat
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