dontplaywithfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I was in a relationship where after one year i discovered that my bf was bisexual....and was having an affair with a man. I ran away but the incident still haunts me at times. Met a couple of guys after that but no one interesting. Recently I met someone through dating site. We have been going around for 45 days now and we were quite intimate today, more than usual. This person is nice, wants to adopt kids (so do I), is an educator (so am i and i like academicians) and quite broad minded. its just that whenever we spend time together (like today when we were together at his apartment the entire day), he disappears for the next two days. no phone calls, no chats. if i call he doesn't pick up and usually says he was sleeping, he once said he had lost his mobile which he miraculously discovered after two days. this has happened thrice - and when i confronted him with it, he said that his ex gf also had the same complaint and that he needs time to grasp things and absorb relationships. he always comes back after 1-2 days and starts calling and chasing again. but every time he does this something dies in me. also he is very lovey dovey and affectionate before we are intimate - he comes to pick me up which is the other end of the city, pampers me, almost treats me like a kid but once we spend some time in bed, he is just a good friend - no romance or cuddling now. he talks about getting married and kids all the time but very matter of factly. we have no pet names for each other. recently i met his sister (coincidentally) and he later told me that she was teasing him as to how i'm too pretty and beautiful for him. i was surprised when he told me this, as in the fact that he told me. though my friends say the same thing all the time. but i like this guy and i haven't liked anyone since ages. is this another mistake, whats happening? please help......
Frieda Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I don't want to be so negative, but it seems like he is running back to something for a few days before coming back to you. you sure he doesn't have some dark secret he hasn't told you?? somethin's fishy and I think he's hiding a secret
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I was in a relationship where after one year i discovered that my bf was bisexual....and was having an affair with a man. I ran away but the incident still haunts me at times. Met a couple of guys after that but no one interesting. Recently I met someone through dating site. We have been going around for 45 days now and we were quite intimate today, more than usual. This person is nice, wants to adopt kids (so do I), is an educator (so am i and i like academicians) and quite broad minded. its just that whenever we spend time together (like today when we were together at his apartment the entire day), he disappears for the next two days. no phone calls, no chats. if i call he doesn't pick up and usually says he was sleeping, he once said he had lost his mobile which he miraculously discovered after two days. this has happened thrice - and when i confronted him with it, he said that his ex gf also had the same complaint and that he needs time to grasp things and absorb relationships. he always comes back after 1-2 days and starts calling and chasing again. but every time he does this something dies in me. also he is very lovey dovey and affectionate before we are intimate - he comes to pick me up which is the other end of the city, pampers me, almost treats me like a kid but once we spend some time in bed, he is just a good friend - no romance or cuddling now. he talks about getting married and kids all the time but very matter of factly. we have no pet names for each other. recently i met his sister (coincidentally) and he later told me that she was teasing him as to how i'm too pretty and beautiful for him. i was surprised when he told me this, as in the fact that he told me. though my friends say the same thing all the time. but i like this guy and i haven't liked anyone since ages. is this another mistake, whats happening? please help...... This is normal male behavior for a lot of men. They need alone time and pull back time.
Frieda Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 i'd say that is not normal behavior for men. just because a lot of men today suffer from these problems, don't make it normal.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 i'd say that is not normal behavior for men. just because a lot of men today suffer from these problems, don't make it normal. Yeah it's a problem for a male to be normal for some people .
betterthandead Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 (edited) Hmm yeah I agree, sounds pretty damn fishy. I know if I want some of that booty and she would probably spread wide for me then yeah I'd want some of that pudding by the 2nd-3rd date. Also, I would appreciate that "your academic self" try to date out of "academia" just because someone has a 4-year degree or even a graduate degree doesn't make them better than anyone else. Trust me, I've met a lot of loser men and women who keep mentioning "yeah I graduated with a bachelors in blah blah blah" 10-15 years after they got that piece of paper. He's gay. Edited April 4, 2008 by betterthandead
Author dontplaywithfire Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 no he isnt married. i dont want to believe that all men are like that. i have frnds whose bfs have sex and roll over and sleep. but are all men like that? really now? he isnt gay. i'm quite sure about that. any advise here would be appreciated. should i break up with this person?
peace_pipe Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 i have frnds whose bfs have sex and roll over and sleep. Isn't that what you are supposed to do?
Author dontplaywithfire Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 i need some help here, please. this is troubling me!
stillafool Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I once dated a guy who would do that. It turned out he was seeing other people. I hope your guy isn't. If I were you I would ask him why he does this. If his reason seems selfish don't be available for him the next time he wants to see you and see what happens. Tell him you have other plans but be nice about it. Maybe you are too available.
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