TheRock Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Has anyone gone from being in a great relationship, in which you look forward to seeing each other as much as possible, have frequent spontaneous sex, and talk about a future together.... to feeling disconnected from your lover and trying to distance yourself from them, not initiating sex or desiring it for that matter and would rather spend time with the girls or sleeping than with your man...And have you found the change to be the result of a change in Birth Control, particularly to the YAZ? My relationship with my GF of 2 yrs was great for the 1st 8 months...She'd initiate sex, we did it frequently and spontaneously and everywhere, talked of a future together and she was always wanting to spend time with me. Within a month of changing Birth Control Pills, she withdrew and spends more time with her girlfriends, or on a Friday night wants to be home sleeping by 10pm... Even if she stays over, sex occurs only if I initiate it and it is hit or miss if she wants to do it at all. She's ALWAYS fatigued, has migraines every other day and has mood swings up the wazoo! Yet, she still does loving things for me, says she's sexually attracted to me, writes nice cards to me about how great we are together, and how our relationship goes beyond romance and friendship. But since she switched pills, she's all about herself, very moody\depressed and seems scared to take the next step, etc. As much as she talks about "us" she talks about herself..i.e. She's talking about buying a house for herself soon, not talking about moving into my apartment together or co-habitaing, but says she wants to have a future with me. Very confusing...She's 31 and I'm 36. She went from being positive about "us" and life in general to very negative with a rare positive day here and there...Weird how she changed so fast...Just wondering if this could be from the pill, esp the YAZ...Any thoughts or similar experiences?
sumdude Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Hormones are powerful stuff. There are ongoing studies on the effects of birth control and other hormone therapies. Some studies have shown that women are physically attracted to different men depending on whether or not they are taking the pill. I know from my experience... when my ex wife was taking some strong hormones for infertility treatment wow things really really went badly.
lovestruck818 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Has anyone gone from being in a great relationship, in which you look forward to seeing each other as much as possible, have frequent spontaneous sex, and talk about a future together.... to feeling disconnected from your lover and trying to distance yourself from them, not initiating sex or desiring it for that matter and would rather spend time with the girls or sleeping than with your man...And have you found the change to be the result of a change in Birth Control, particularly to the YAZ? My relationship with my GF of 2 yrs was great for the 1st 8 months...She'd initiate sex, we did it frequently and spontaneously and everywhere, talked of a future together and she was always wanting to spend time with me. Within a month of changing Birth Control Pills, she withdrew and spends more time with her girlfriends, or on a Friday night wants to be home sleeping by 10pm... Even if she stays over, sex occurs only if I initiate it and it is hit or miss if she wants to do it at all. She's ALWAYS fatigued, has migraines every other day and has mood swings up the wazoo! Yet, she still does loving things for me, says she's sexually attracted to me, writes nice cards to me about how great we are together, and how our relationship goes beyond romance and friendship. But since she switched pills, she's all about herself, very moody\depressed and seems scared to take the next step, etc. As much as she talks about "us" she talks about herself..i.e. She's talking about buying a house for herself soon, not talking about moving into my apartment together or co-habitaing, but says she wants to have a future with me. Very confusing...She's 31 and I'm 36. She went from being positive about "us" and life in general to very negative with a rare positive day here and there...Weird how she changed so fast...Just wondering if this could be from the pill, esp the YAZ...Any thoughts or similar experiences? I have been on Yaz for 3 weeks now...nothing like what you are mentioning but I have only been with my man for 3 months...I get awful stomach aches from it though...does your gf get those? It's horrible. As far as the sex thing goes, I never liked sex anyway to be completely honest so I don't initiate it, but I never did. And the house buying thing doesn't seem weird to me...I'm not sure if you own or rent your apartment, I am assuming you rent, sorry if I am wrong...some people just have aspirations of owning. It comes out to a better choice in the end anyway...it is so important to be able to build equity. Have you asked her if you can move into her house when she buys it? Personally i admire her for wanting to buy her own house. best thing I ever did and I am 26. Never rented...went right to buying and I don't regret it for a second..b/c your money actually goes to something.
StartingOver07 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Rock, the libido-suppressing effects of BCP are well known and documented. Try searching Pubmed or other credible, medical journals for more if you need convincing. Has your gf discussed this with her gyn? She might be better off with a different form of bc.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 That's one of the reasons I don't take birth control pills, there are so many side effects that it scares me. I'm not about to mess up my system just so a guy can have the "raw" feeling that comes without a condom. But back to the question at hand, birth control pills does affect and can cause severe mood swings, so any emotional withdrawal or outbursts from your gf can be contributed to the pill. But I don't think you should be so concerned about her being "selfish". How is she selfish if she wants to have a place of her own and worry about her own future and whatnot? She's afterall her own person, and she's entitled to have her own place. Don't see it as that she doesn't want to be with you, it's just that she's entitled to have something of her own. It's like having a banking account. Would you have a joint account with her even though you're not married? NO. Because your money's yours, and her money's hers.
soulseeker Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 About the house thing...thing is, some people are not into cohabitation. Have you asked her to marry you? Maybe she's thinking, "well, it's been two years. He wants to live with me, but I'm not sure if he wants to marry me. Dont know if I like the sound of that." Just a thought. I know a lot of people, mostly women, who are hesitant to live with a partner they are not married to. The whole free milk thing. I lived with a bf once, and I'll never do it again.
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I went on the shot and shortly after being on it, and a few months after finally going off of it - I did not want sex, not want to be touched, or anything of the nature. And that's not like me what so ever.
Author TheRock Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 I have told her that I'd like to marry her. By selfish, I mean that since she went to the YAZ, everything is about her. What we do, Where we go, when we go, etc... EXAMPLE- Was planning to surprise her for her b-day with dinner and a broadway show and maybe drinks out before going back to the apartment (which even tho i pay the rent and she hasn't moved in, refer to it as ours). The show's at 8 and runs to 1030pm. Said I'd pick her up at 5 for dinner. She complained that's too early, the show runs to late...etc... Not happy at all. Then says well..shouldn't be too bad. We can be home asleep by 1130. Always concerned about her sleep, not grateful for me trying to give her a nice night! EXAMPLE 2-MOODS- Flips back n forth about moving in w\me. One day is telling me if she moves in with me she'll need more wardrobe space (I take that as a hint). Then proceeds to look at houses to buy again. I ask her if she was hinting\serious about moving in and she flips out saying, "just cause I mentioned it doesn't mean I'm moving in!" Flip Flop Flip Flop...
4givrnt4gtr Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Ohhh good ol' bcp Man those things wreck HAVOC on women's bodies. For experience, right when i started them i got MAD anxious about everything, paranoid and just eekkkk bad. Since it was "just" mental, i shrugged it off, but then after a few months my body started to give in (loss of hair, quick weight loss, no period at all). I switched to other type of BC (Ortho Tricyclin) and after three days I landed in the ER unable to stop throwing up to the point of almost fainting Needless to say...im done with those things. I stopped taking them a few days ago and now im dealing with a bit of depression, but i know ill be much better once my body levels off. Tell your GF to look into a nifty little gadget called LadyComp. Its a bit pricey, but according to research and people's experience, its 99% reliable and completely natural. Hope things get better for you and your girl
AriaIncognito Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Personally I'd think the YAZ isn't helping matters. My friend who took it said it turned her into a raving b*tch, so it does definitely have potential. All hormonal drugs do. No 2 people respond the same way to them, so it's always trial and error to find what works for you. I would question though, that maybe, just maybe, she isn't as happy in the relationship as she once was. Seems odd to shift your priorities that much. If my man wants to take me to dinner and a broadway show, I'm ecstatic and don't care if we get home at 3am.
lovestruck818 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Personally I'd think the YAZ isn't helping matters. My friend who took it said it turned her into a raving b*tch, so it does definitely have potential. All hormonal drugs do. No 2 people respond the same way to them, so it's always trial and error to find what works for you. I would question though, that maybe, just maybe, she isn't as happy in the relationship as she once was. Seems odd to shift your priorities that much. If my man wants to take me to dinner and a broadway show, I'm ecstatic and don't care if we get home at 3am. You are so right...maybe it is cuz my relationship is new...but i would be ecstatic to be doing anything with him...even pciking up poop or something. As long as I am doing whatever it is with him, I'm happy than a pig in you-know-what.
sweetbutcheeky Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Just like every woman is different when it comes to sex, every woman's body will react differently with birth control. The only way you can tell is to talk to her and for her to talk to her dr. It does make me wonder how it would make her want to spend more time with her friends vs her bf. I personally have never had any side effects to the pill I take.
4givrnt4gtr Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I would question though, that maybe, just maybe, she isn't as happy in the relationship as she once was. Seems odd to shift your priorities that much. If my man wants to take me to dinner and a broadway show, I'm ecstatic and don't care if we get home at 3am. ....if you are on your right mind. The pill will make every little detail a HUGE deal. For instance (as i am in a withdrawl of the pill right now) if my bf were to do ask me to come out THAT late my rational side would be oh so pleased...my irrational side, which is totally heightened will be pissed off because i mean come on! doesnt he know any better? its late! im tired! he thinks im just here ready for whatever he wants! See? its a lovely thing this here pill....BUT you really cant say they are lying as they ARE wonderful contraceptives...no sex no pregnancy right?
lovestruck818 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 ....if you are on your right mind. The pill will make every little detail a HUGE deal. For instance (as i am in a withdrawl of the pill right now) if my bf were to do ask me to come out THAT late my rational side would be oh so pleased...my irrational side, which is totally heightened will be pissed off because i mean come on! doesnt he know any better? its late! im tired! he thinks im just here ready for whatever he wants! See? its a lovely thing this here pill....BUT you really cant say they are lying as they ARE wonderful contraceptives...no sex no pregnancy right? ya know...I'm not a full believer yet that pill actually works for preventing pregnancy. I had unprotected once while on it and came inside me and I was terrified, that I went to get the morning after pill the next day (thank god that is o-t-c now)...and Yaz, is supposed to be a lower dosage of hormones...so I am wondering it is actually less effective than full-blown Yasmin or another pill (ortho etc.).
datingmum Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Has anyone gone from being in a great relationship, in which you look forward to seeing each other as much as possible, have frequent spontaneous sex, and talk about a future together.... to feeling disconnected from your lover and trying to distance yourself from them, not initiating sex or desiring it for that matter and would rather spend time with the girls or sleeping than with your man...And have you found the change to be the result of a change in Birth Control, particularly to the YAZ? YES! Even if she stays over, sex occurs only if I initiate it and it is hit or miss if she wants to do it at all. She's ALWAYS fatigued, has migraines every other day and has mood swings up the wazoo! AGAIN, YES! This is all down to the pill, I'm afraid. I was exactly the same. I remember my exhusband staring at me in amazement one day about 1month after discontinuing a 4 year stint on the pill. "what?" I smiled. "you are a completely different person! and I love it!" Ditch the pill. Go back to condoms (even that really irritated me - literally). Better yet, get her off, marry her and look into the new products on the market that allow you to test your urine everyday to predict the fertility window of ovulation, thus no need for hormones or foreign objects at all. Also, let me tell you, my sexuality HAS BEEN VORACIOUS without the pill. AND I lost ten pounds of hormone weight!!! What's to lose!?!
mortensorchid Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Birth control pills can make women crazy. I've been on them and they made me cry and be cranky when I'm not, and made me gain weight and turn me into a wacko. Maybe it is something related to the birth control pill changes, but it could be something else completely unrelated. I can recommend to your gf or any other woman out there that one of the best inventions in the history of birth control is the NuvaRing. You don't know how much it frees you until you don't have to take a pill everyday.
PinkKittyKat Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Birth control pills can make women crazy. I've been on them and they made me cry and be cranky when I'm not, and made me gain weight and turn me into a wacko. Maybe it is something related to the birth control pill changes, but it could be something else completely unrelated. I can recommend to your gf or any other woman out there that one of the best inventions in the history of birth control is the NuvaRing. You don't know how much it frees you until you don't have to take a pill everyday. Unfortunately that is still dealing with hormones. I think remembering to take the pill is the least of OP's gf's worries, and the hormones might STILL turn her all "wacky-like". I agree she should definately see a doctor and tell them exactly what's been going on...
soulseeker Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Birth control pills can make women crazy. I've been on them and they made me cry and be cranky when I'm not, and made me gain weight and turn me into a wacko. Maybe it is something related to the birth control pill changes, but it could be something else completely unrelated. I can recommend to your gf or any other woman out there that one of the best inventions in the history of birth control is the NuvaRing. You don't know how much it frees you until you don't have to take a pill everyday. While it's good to maybe try something else, NuVa made me a complete MESS! I was crazy. It's just completely personal. She's going to have to find the one that works for her, if it even IS about birthcontrol. I just dont want the OP to get his hopes up over something that was the "magic pill" for one of us ladies here, that might not work at all for his gf.
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