Princess10 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I've known this girl since 9th grade and I'm now in my last year of college. We became closer friends when we got to college. One day she gave me her password to check her email which is provided by the school. Another mutual frind begged me to check her enrollment status because she never goes to class and we have not seen her buy books nor pock up one in over a year. Anyways we looked and there it was she had been out of school for a year and was pretending. She had been kicked out since spring 06 which was our sophomore year and now it is spring of our senior year and she is still pretending like she is in school. I have distanced myself from her because she is a liar and she's even lying to her dad about it. I think that her mom knows or knows half of the truth but they are hiding it from the dad. Should I confront her or just leave her alone?
Green Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 If you don't want to be friends with her any more I would just leave it alone. Otherwise if your ok with it and still want to be friends you could try to be nice to her about it and try to set her on the right path
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 One day she gave me her password to check her email which is provided by the school. Don't say anything. You invaded her email for nosy reasons and found out something that she obviously isn't proud of.. It really isn't any of business to confront her so I would just let it go since you say she's a liar and you've distanced yourself from her anyway.
Gwyneth Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Wow--you are equally lying to her by prying into her personal business. Two wrongs does Not make a right. If you don't want to be her friend, understandable. But you as a friend broke friendship trust in a bigger way than she did. She is probably a shamed of not being in school anymore--how does her lying about still being in school affect your life at all? What you did would have a Huge impact on her life--you broke trust. That's wrong, sorry. I'm sure you have your legitimate reasons for doing what you did, and I'm sure you feel bad--but c'mon. You cannot be as angry toward her as she has a right to be toward you.
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I'm sure you have your legitimate reasons for doing what you did Somehow this: Another mutual frind begged me to check her enrollment status because she never goes to class and we have not seen her buy books nor pock up one in over a year. Isn't a justification to go into someone's email. G is right, two wrongs do not make a right. Your friend will be very upset that you invaded her email because you and your other friend got nosy and wanted to find out what was going on. If you really were her "true" friend, you would have spoken to her about it and asked her what was up about her and school, not gone behind her back and checked her email account.
Tyra Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I would'nt say anything to her about it,just continue to distance yourself. You shouldn't have read through her e-mail,so it is not your place to confront her about anything. She is a liar and you caught her. But don't confront her about nothing.
Luv2TortureMe Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 I am now in my late 30's and am ashamed to admit to doing something similar. Not quite to that extent, but flunked out for one semester and told NO ONE. I was emotionally a mess and at a very immature 19 unsure of how to handle it. If I had been confronted in a way that made me feel like a complete loser, I just may have gone off the deep end. I actually had the pills ready, just in case. If you say anything, be sure you offer options...like how exactly she can reenroll, the name of a counselor/advisor, and above all a sympathetic attitude toward someone under a great deal of stress. Imagine how hard her act is! And how little she probably sleeps due to the fear of discovery! And you must guarentee her you will show complete discretion. It was one of those experiences that I still think about with a shudder and a heave in my stomach! You cannot believe the lengths I went to hide it. I actually did buy books, pretend to go to class, write papers, etc. I did end up graduating with the help of a very simpathetic school therapist and advisor. My life now is better than I ever could have dreamed, so please tread lightly-it could turn out well. Any type of threats, moral judgements, etc would have resulted in my death. I can say this with absolute certainty. Oh yeah...this post affected me so much I signed up to respond! And I to this day have never told anyone other than the counselors and the school and my advsisor. Most schools actually have a protocol for this type of situation that is much easier to deal with than you might imagine... There are ways she can explain it to friends, family, etc without totally coming clean. ie...change in life philosophy? Want to completely change career options?? Good Luck!
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