mortensorchid Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 There have been a few threads created about closures to relationships or flings. I thought I would post a tale of my own. A few years ago, I met this man on line. Things came together very quickly for me and him, and when we met ... Well, we just felt an instant connection in that special way. We had a brief affair for about two weeks. Then, he said he was busy because of work, parents moving, etc. So, I decided to write this email to him ... "I take it by your silence the affair is in fact over. That's ok, I understand. We don't exactly fit into each others' worlds and we both have other things going on. We just move on. But, I will think of you sometimes during those lonely nights, and I will smile." And that was the end. No response from him, and no further communications from me. I thought this was a good way to end things.
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 No, such an act screams desperation. I'm sorry, have dignity and don't do something like this. You do realize he was just using you for sex for those two weeks, don't you? Why dignify it with such an email?
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 If doing this helped you get closure and made you feel better, that's fine. I hope you aren't expecting to hear back from him because chances are, he isn't going to write back.
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Be careful if he does write back. Once a flake, always a flake...
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Ladies, this thread is a prime example of what will probably happen if you give it up right away with a guy. He will get bored and move on. However, if the OP had waited until she and this guy had established an exclusive relationship and kept her panties on for a few more weeks, she would probably still be with the guy because the relationship wouldn't have burnt itself out so soon. Yes, there will be ladies who post on here they are still with their SO after doing it the night they met each other, etc. Also there will be those who say their best relationships started out with sex right away.....often these guys are exes. These are exceptions and often these relationships are not as great as these ladies claim them to be, fraught with problems.
Jilly Bean Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 (edited) Ladies, this thread is a prime example of what will probably happen if you give it up right away with a guy. He will get bored and move on. However, if the OP had waited until she and this guy had established an exclusive relationship and kept her panties on for a few more weeks, she would probably still be with the guy because the relationship wouldn't have burnt itself out so soon. Yes, there will be ladies who post on here they are still with their SO after doing it the night they met each other, etc. Also there will be those who say their best relationships started out with sex right away.....often these guys are exes. These are exceptions and often these relationships are not as great as these ladies claim them to be, fraught with problems. Ladies - please learn from AD's recent experience of being rejected after sleeping with a guy after two weeks and then he never called her again. She knows what she's talking about. OP - I always have a need for closure, even though I know it may make me look needy or overly-invested. If it made you feel better and made it easier to walk away, then power to ya, sister. Edited April 3, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author mortensorchid Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 I never did hear from him again. That was ok with me, I'm an adult, I accept what I did and said. And yes, I know I was being used during that time. But, I used him as well. I wasn't exactly "available", if you know what I mean. But, it was resolved and that was the end of that.
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I never did hear from him again. That was ok with me, I'm an adult, I accept what I did and said. And yes, I know I was being used during that time. But, I used him as well. I wasn't exactly "available", if you know what I mean. But, it was resolved and that was the end of that. If both people are in the same frame of mind, where neither is looking for anything more than two weeks of physicality, it's okay. No one's hurt and for those that can do this, everyone's happy. I don't see any using here.
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I wasn't exactly "available", Meaning you are in a relationship or married?
Author mortensorchid Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 I was in a relationship at the time, an LDR. He never knew about it. A few months later, my LDR broke it off suddenly. Then less than a year later he met and married another woman. Guess he showed me.
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 So you cheated on your LDR, had your two week fling, then sent a closure email to your affair partner who had disappeared, then lost your LDR partner, who married someone else in less than a year? Drama anyone?
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I never did hear from him again. Maybe he found out you were in a LDR.
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