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To the guys...or gals if you have insight


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Posted

What does it mean when you contact your ex girlfriend after your wife leaves you?

 

What is it that you really want?

Are you at all interested in getting back together?

Posted

One word.

 

Rebound.

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Posted

is that absolute? No interest in rekindling?

 

What do you want from me?

Posted
One word.

 

Rebound.

 

And the only person you can call on short notice for a quickie.

Posted

I'd agree with JB. Especially if he was the one that broke it off with the ex-gf way-back-when. He is looking for someone who he thinks he has a low-risk of getting further hurt from. Looking for a sympathetic ear...and maybe more?

Posted

If that girl wants to have sex with the guy again, then by all means....but she shouldn't delude herself to thinking it'll be anything deeper than that.

 

Like JB said: Rebound

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Posted

Okay, so what if he was still interested after say, 6 months to a year?

 

He dumped the ex-girlfriend, by the way.

Posted
Okay, so what if he was still interested after say, 6 months to a year?

Doesn't change the context, in my opinion.

 

He dumped the ex-girlfriend, by the way.

Still sounds to me like he thinks she's a sure thing.

 

Borderline-insulting, if you ask me. I'm just sayin'.

But hey - to each their own.

Posted

That's usually what it means - rebound. You already have an established history with the old gf and you think she might, hope against hope, take you back because you are feeling lonely after the divorce. Don't do it. Move on and work on yourself.

Posted
What does it mean when you contact your ex girlfriend after your wife leaves you?

 

What is it that you really want?

Are you at all interested in getting back together?

 

I was the man in this kind of situation, with some qualifiers. When my wife and I separated I got into contact with the previous ex. Part of it was because my wife was so bitterly jealous of this girl that I just lost conact with her to end the drama. Another part was that after being with my wife, I realized all of the great qualities this ex had.

 

At first, it was validation. I wanted to be appreciated, wanted, whatever by someone after the failure of my marriage. The difference here is at that time, she was recently married, so there was no chance for anything to happen anyway. I did have myself convinced for a while that I wanted to be with her again. This was for maybe 6 months or so. But once I got grounded into the "world is OK even though I'm divorcing" state of mind, those feelings went away. This is what leads me to believe it was solely for validation.

 

However now, two years after my separation and recontact with the ex, I do still wonder about things at times. Wondering if it could have worked with her if my priorities were better established when I broke it off with her. We do keep in contact still and I often get a sense of longing for her. Don't know that I can define why, whether it's from loneliness or from a sincere longing for her. I thik the reality is I do still have feelings for her, but I'm able to repress them until I get to a point where I'm feeling lonely. Then they pop up and I have a harder time ignoring it.

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