poppi Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago and initiated nc 3 weeks ago, but to make it worse, i have to see him everyday at work.. this just sucks big time. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I still truly adore him, to the point where i lose my breath when he walks past. I know i broke up with him for the right reasons, something’s are just not meant to be after all...but not a day goes by when my heart don’t hurt and bleed. nc would be so much easier if i didn’t have to see him.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]We wasn’t together very long at all, but it was so passionate and intense, unfortunately, with the great highs arose the deep lows, roundabouts of false hope and hollow victories. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Even though my mind knows that we can’t work, my heart wont follow. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I have thought about changing jobs, posted my CV everywhere and got lots of offers, but im settled where i am, and have good hours and pay, plus i don't want to run away. I dread the day that i see or hear he seeing someone else. That was one of the main reasons i couldn’t stay in contact. I still checking my phone all the time, and get disappointed when there is a message there but it not him?? again this is confusing as i broke it off and i was the one who said NC...[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Any one got any suggestions, greatly needed. [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR]
becky001555 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 False hope, god yes been there, split up with my boyfriend of two and a half years about 2 months ago ish and began NC 4 days ago, and i swear this is the hardest thing ever, i sit there while im doing coursework, that im not really concentrating on, thinking of him and this alone is jepodising my future (i'm 20 and if i fail this year at college i wont get into university) i wonder why he wont text me or why he isnt on facebook and then my mind starts telling me things that probably are not true, like 'is he with another girl?', 'is he even thinking of me?' Seeing as though you work with this person the best suggestion that i could possibly give is to hold your head up high, there's no reason why you should change jobs, if he hasnt made any effort to do the same then why should you? Having NC for three weeks is something to be proud of you still have your pride and you have your dignity and just hold onto that, when you see him around the work place don't look at him as 'the ex' just try and see him as just another collegue. Dreading the day that you hear he has been with someone else is normal, and when that day comes, i not going to lie to you it is going to be hard, i found out my ex slept with someone 2 weeks after we broke up and it was devastating but, acceptance is a very powerful thing and it does happen in the end, you may not accept that you have broken up for a while, but, you may accept that he has been with someone else, it won't be easy but i promise you it will happen Anyway i hope that some of this helps, as i have the problem of being able to give advice, but being totally incapable of taking it in myself sorry this was a bit of an essay lol, well done on 3 weeks of NC by the way! xx
Takn4Granted Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Okay...you sound like you are still very much in love with this guy. How old are you again? Just curious. So, why did you break up with him. Was it something unforgivable (he cheated, killed your cat, etc.). Hopefully, it wasn't something that you guys couldn't recover from...did you try to address the issues at all? Sounds like you are definately torn between following your heart or your head... Be forewarned, 9 out of 10 people on this site will tell you to either/and "go no contact forever" , "forget the guy/gal and move on" or " you need time to heal yourself.
Author poppi Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Okay...you sound like you are still very much in love with this guy. How old are you again? Just curious. So, why did you break up with him. Was it something unforgivable (he cheated, killed your cat, etc.). Hopefully, it wasn't something that you guys couldn't recover from...did you try to address the issues at all? Sounds like you are definately torn between following your heart or your head... Yes indeed, very much in love. Im still trying to figure out the why i broke up with him part myself, again im torn... between its me being a selfish mo or him being a complete ar&e! He is getting dirvoced and has two children. His world is completed, quite rightly wrapped up with this family. I dont think he expected to meet me and i dont think he ready for a relationship. I have a son also, and right now, we simply do not fit together. He still is staying at his ex wifes most weekends, and during the week till late... this rippled into my world. It felt like i was a stop gap, an affair. He says im a coward and selfish... maybe!
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago and initiated nc 3 weeks ago, but to make it worse, i have to see him everyday at work.. this just sucks big time. I still truly adore him, to the point where i lose my breath when he walks past. I know i broke up with him for the right reasons, something’s are just not meant to be after all...but not a day goes by when my heart don’t hurt and bleed. nc would be so much easier if i didn’t have to see him. We wasn’t together very long at all, but it was so passionate and intense, unfortunately, with the great highs arose the deep lows, roundabouts of false hope and hollow victories. Even though my mind knows that we can’t work, my heart wont follow. I have thought about changing jobs, posted my CV everywhere and got lots of offers, but im settled where i am, and have good hours and pay, plus i don't want to run away. I dread the day that i see or hear he seeing someone else. That was one of the main reasons i couldn’t stay in contact. I still checking my phone all the time, and get disappointed when there is a message there but it not him?? again this is confusing as i broke it off and i was the one who said NC... Any one got any suggestions, greatly needed. GAH....had to get rid of the font crap. It was too distracting for me to read. Do yourself a favour and find another job. It sounds like the "settled in" part is a form of self-flagellation and torture. Stop enabling your obsession with him. If he's unhealthy for you, get him out of your life. STAT!
Author poppi Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 GAH....had to get rid of the font crap. It was too distracting for me to read. Do yourself a favour and find another job. It sounds like the "settled in" part is a form of self-flagellation and torture. Stop enabling your obsession with him. If he's unhealthy for you, get him out of your life. STAT! Thanks for cleaning that post up. I thinkyou right, the only way to move forward is to find a new job. Being a single mother, its been hard working and bringin up a child. He is in high school now so things are getting easier. The work situ is torture. If he is in late or not in at all at the moment sets me off. Or when he laughing or joking with his mates..its just not nice. Not that i am sitting at me desk crying, but its such a effort right now being there. If he wasnt there, i could go into work looking like crap (pretty much how i feel) and use it as a distration. Maybe finding new job is the window after the door....
Prosecco Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Maybe this is a blessing in disguise - you never know - finding/looking for a new job might open up opportunities and ideas you never noticed before. Perhaps this is a chance for a new and improved life in many ways. Btw - children often rise to trust as responsibility. Yours might appreciate the fact that you can rely on him to look after himself more while you sort out your working situation. People are often surprised with how mature children can be, given the opportunity - so long as they aren't overly burdened. Could be an opportunity to grow closer... not that you necessarily need it. So - perhaps talk to him about moving work and sorting out your life (in a non emotional way) - just so he knows what you're up to, and doesn't feel out of the loop.
Recommended Posts