xpaperxcutx Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Wow, I'm a huge Law and Order fan and I've gotta say LL, that you're taking a big risk in dating someone with a criminal history. People who's been in jail are most likely to be repeat offenders and have a higher possibility of landing back in the slammer.
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Wow, I'm a huge Law and Order fan and I've gotta say LL, that you're taking a big risk in dating someone with a criminal history. People who's been in jail are most likely to be repeat offenders and have a higher possibility of landing back in the slammer. Can you believe she is earning a college degree to be a NURSE? LL, wake up and realize your VALUE.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Can you believe she is earning a college degree to be a NURSE? LL' date=' wake up and realize your VALUE.[/quote'] Yeah but a lot of nurses like bad boys. I seem to meet a lot of nurses. I like how they usually have their own money and they tend to be very sexual.
BentSpine Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Also, the "I thought I told you" is a red flag for me. Loosely translated, that means "Crap, you asked me a question that I have to answer and it's important and might make you reconsider a relationship with me. So, I'm going to pretend that I thought I'd told you already so you will think of me as honest and a good guy who is maybe just forgetful." Nobody "forgets" to mention something like that. I had the very same thought.
Ariadne Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 LoveLace, Some characters you find all the time, ha? Ok, this guy sounds like the total con-artist to me, and that was even before I read the part that he was in jail: ----- ~ he's been dating women with kids, who do not want more kids. He wants kids so bad ~ He's only 29 but seems to think he's racing a biological clock... ~ I was all smiles. ~ He was making me laugh a whole lot! ~ Entertaining personality, he does almost any voice impression ~ says that he wants to have that "ga-ga" feeling for someone...hhmm ~ time as a teenager until his early 20's, because they were "stupid kids" ---------- Seems like he is just telling you what you want to hear, and putting the charm on. This guy could be a major pimp. Also, just for some "kid's stuff" gas station thing a guy is not going to be put in jail for many years. They probably killed someone or who knows what. Maybe it was not the first time either, but it had to be pretty serious. Be careful that guy is not going to rape you or strangle you if you meet him. Or just beat the crap out of you.
Kamille Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 The only reason I'm worried that you're considering someone with a criminal record is that you have a tendency to fall really fast LL. So really, the guy could be an ex-priest and my advice would still be the same: ok, there's one guy you're considering as a potential date. Anyone else out there? If not, then keep your eyes on the search, not the potential finds. Don't put all your eggs in this, or any basket, until you fully know you can trust them.
blind_otter Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 IME anyone can completely hide certain aspects of their personality for months, depending on how much face time you get with them. It's always a good idea to hold a part of yourself away from a R until you really get to know someone.
2sunny Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 be smart LL - don't allow him to know certain things about you until WAAAAY down the road. that includes your work schedule and where you currently live. if he knows when you're at work and where you live - you could come home to some of your things missing. don't laugh - it happened to me with an old friend i trusted. this friend was a meth user (i didn't know). broke in through a window while i was out running a few errands and took a bunch of jewelry and money from the house. his story sounded a bit like the one your friend is feeding you - plus he was totally coming off as a really nice guy who just happened to make a few mistakes through life...
KidEternity Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 (edited) After reading through all 8 pages, here are my thoughts... Everyone can change, but reading through what you've said he still doesn't sound very trustworthy, there were a few Red Flag moments particularly the "Oh didn't I tell you about that". But hell he could be trying to downplay it, and once he does get closer he would most likely tell you the whole story as nobody would really be comfortable telling a stranger that they have a criminal record. But saying that I met a women who was in jail for assault for 4 months, (it was self defensive assualt mind you) and when i met her she was happy to tell me everything and told me all about her, have to say we were kinda close friends but I lost touch because I moved to Paris for a work placement... Anyway my point is that people can change, yeah but I think there are enough things there to make you re-consider too, because it is heartbreaking further on down the line when you see the signs at the start of a relationship and just ignore them... but give him a chance and keep talking to him, because you can't help who you like and if you like this guy who are we to try and stop you. Just keep chatting to him, and delve deeper into the crime thing because 3/4 years sounds like Armed Robbery to me and not being a stupid teenager...and that changes it a bit you know! I don't think I'd ever date a person that would intentionally cause harm to someone else, especially holding a weapon to someone else... Edited April 3, 2008 by KidEternity
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Find out what county he was charged in and look up the case. Then look him up in the public criminal record index to see if he is being completely honest with you. Do this before you meet him ...please. I agree with this if you can find out just to make sure hes being completely honest about the offense better to find out now then later. I would want to know the details. "Tried to rob a gas station" leaves out a lot of details. The fact that the sentence was pretty long indicates to me one of two things: that a weapon (probably a gun) was used. Anything violent like that would be a deal breaker to me. I don't know honestly I kinda agree but then again some teens can be troubled. But that is a long time he must have been charged as an adult if he was away until into his 20s. Yea I would def double check it any way you can before you meet him. If it checks out and long as he didn't murder/seriously injure anyone then maybe its worth a chance. Secondly, since the sentence was lengthy, it's unlikely the courts would do that for a first-time offense. I'd seriously question if that was his first offense. Either way (and call me judgmental all you want) I wouldn't be comfortable with either scenario. Also something stuck out at me when you said he was kinda whining about gas to come see you if things worked out. Cause hes on the other side the city honestly how much gas could that cost?? That maybe to me is a tiny red flag that he may not be willing to come to the ball park in a 50/50 relationship at least financially on some level.
carhill Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 After reading through all 8 pages, here are my thoughts... As an operational note, you can set your page reading preference to 40 posts per page; this is accessed in your user control panel pane. Also something stuck out at me when you said he was kinda whining about gas to come see you if things worked out. Cause hes on the other side the city honestly how much gas could that cost?? Yes, and they do have gas pumps/cards available for car dealer sales managers. The ones I know IRL never have to worry about anything having to do with transportation
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Yes, and they do have gas pumps/cards available for car dealer sales managers. The ones I know IRL never have to worry about anything having to do with transportation Exactly. He's not bondable if he's a felon (which robbery/burglary is), and he'd have easy access to free gas if he was in fact employed in the manner he says he is. Liar!
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Exactly. He's not bondable if he's a felon (which robbery/burglary is), and he'd have easy access to free gas if he was in fact employed in the manner he says he is. Liar! My ex fiance was the business manager for a large dealership here, they didn't have easy access to free gas. That really depends on the dealership.
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 My ex fiance was the business manager for a large dealership here, they didn't have easy access to free gas. That really depends on the dealership. If you're the SALES MANAGER of an entire dealership - which this guy claims he is - he wouldn't have to worry about gas to get across town. In some way, that wouldn't be an issue. But still, he wouldn't be bondable. Without a bond, no dealership in its right mind is going to give access to car keys to a convicted felon (who was convicted of essentially a violent THEFT).
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 If you're the SALES MANAGER of an entire dealership - which this guy claims he is - he wouldn't have to worry about gas to get across town. In some way, that wouldn't be an issue. But still, he wouldn't be bondable. Without a bond, no dealership in its right mind is going to give access to car keys to a convicted felon (who was convicted of essentially a violent THEFT). There are different managers though General Manager Business Manager Sales Manager (which could be broken down to new and used car sales manager) The only person who would get a break like free gas would be the general manager of all three dealerships in the area. I'm just saying - just because you're a sales manager doesn't mean you get free gas. They also actually employed a guy with a felony record. Not as a manager, but as a salesman. They allowed all of their managers and sales people to have access to a car. They had a small decrease in their paycheck for insurance and what not - but they still had access as long as they had a valid dl
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 So, attractive, funny, outgoing, and is in sales? Those are exactly the kinds of guys who can sell themselves and make themselves appear attractive to women. Don't fall for the external package before you know what's inside. Or something. Like I said, don't fall for the external before you understand who this guy is inside and exactly what kind of con man he might be. Exactly! A guy like this might be changed and might not be. I would be concerned. If he has such a great job, why is he worried about gas money to come to the other side of town to see you?That was exactly what came to mind for me, too. He's either lying about his job or he's cheap. Neither is good.
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 There are different managers though General Manager Business Manager Sales Manager (which could be broken down to new and used car sales manager) The only person who would get a break like free gas would be the general manager of all three dealerships in the area. I'm just saying - just because you're a sales manager doesn't mean you get free gas. They also actually employed a guy with a felony record. Not as a manager, but as a salesman. They allowed all of their managers and sales people to have access to a car. They had a small decrease in their paycheck for insurance and what not - but they still had access as long as they had a valid dl I understand what you're saying, but I'm "just saying" too. It's not really worth arguing over. The dude is a loser, and most likely a liar.
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I understand what you're saying, but I'm "just saying" too. It's not really worth arguing over. The dude is a loser, and most likely a liar. I'm sorry Star Gazer, I wasn't trying to argue with you about it - I think there's a good chance that he's a liar and a loser - but I try to give people the benefit of doubt, which has failed me before, but there's those few people that have shown me else wise ya know?
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Last night he mentioned a girl that wanted him to drive to Let's say Valleytown, in the next state over....this trip for me would take about 20-25 minutes. Where he lives, the trip would probably take 45 min. to an hour. He said hell no he doesn't want to drive all the way there. Even I have turned out invitations to go there simply because when I go out, I like to try and stay as close to home as possible, or because I don't like driving in that town because I'm not familiar with the roads. Also, I have a few friends that live in his area, and up until last year, I spent my whole life thinking it was another world away...2 highways away and over the bridge...ugh I never wanted to drive there! However, I've been going to a friends house more lately so the trip has begun to seem like less a hassel, but when I say more I mean every few months. It's still too far for me to have a reason to go more than that...but if you had a REASON to, like a boyfriend, the drive wouldn't probably seem as bothersome. Actually before the gas $ he said that he would prefer to date someone who lives closer because if he likes somebody he wants to be able to see them often enough. But hell I"m so busy, I can hardly get down the street to visit people! So in a way, he was right about the route between my place and his...it would be kindof a pain in the a$$ to date someone who lived out there. Anyway, I don't have the time or energy to put any more effort into playing detective. I suddenly don't feel I want to meet him right now. But I'm not against talking on the phone again. He doesn't seem in that big a hurry anyway, he exudes this sensitivity (like he gets hurt easily) but pushes for "moving slow" at the same time...well whatever, I don't think I'll end up letting it amount to anything but I don't think talking on the phone sometimes could hurt. I'll tell him I'm not ready to meet and see how he reacts because we talked about meeting this weekend. If he gets whiny about it, that'll be enough for me to hang it up. But if he agrees then that's not a bad thing.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Well again I decided that I do not want to meet him at this point.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 More specifically I want to get out of any date plans for Saturday night that he thinks we have. I"m not wanting to deal with it anytime soon...I have a busy next 3 weeks I don't wanna add any more stress!
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 LL, any guy who's more concerned about time and cost to see someone within minimal driving distance, is a 40 foot red flag. See the red flag, LL? "Hi, you don't matter enough for me to want to make the effort, take the time and waste the gas money for." Btw, I used to commute longer lengths of time, daily...
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 HELLO I just said I don't even want to meet him! He's way down the bottom of my priority list. So chill!
underpants Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 HELLO I just said I don't even want to meet him! He's way down the bottom of my priority list. So chill! Good for you LL. I'm glad you are postponing the meeting. You think you might still take a little trip yourself to read his case file? I'll admit...I'm curious.
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