underpants Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 That or you're proving yourself to be that stereotypical girl who truly only likes "bad boys" and a-holes. Or, damaged and somewhat broken men that need to be saved in some way? Just be careful LL. Go and read the cases in that county. Figure out what the Anger Mang. thing is related to and find out what the outstanding warrant is for. I'd take a trip across the hall to the domestic area as well if I were you. I see you want to know the entire truth and have an open mind. Frankly, I'm curious myself. Listen to him and continue to talk to him if that is your wish. Do be careful what information you give out about yourself at this point. Get all of the facts before you decide one way or the other. Aside from the whole criminal record thing, there were some other flags of concern that were raised for me. However, do as you will. Just be careful and get informed with an objective lens.
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 + 1!!! Seriously, why this discussion even needs to extend past one page is beyond me. To me, this is a total no-brainer. Honestly, I am often at a loss for words when I see the choices that some people make. I can only shake my head, and pray for your safety. No sh*t. LL isn't known for making the best choices, but this one to even consider still meeting the dude actually SHOCKS me.
Jilly Bean Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I read this posting, and I think I am the only one who ever saw Silence of the Lambs...
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I read this posting, and I think I am the only one who ever saw Silence of the Lambs... No, I thought the same thing. I imagined a skin-suit.
Lizzie60 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 aahhhhh---aahhhhh... come on now.. this was almost 10 years ago. He could have been under peer pressure.. whatever.. this is done, he could have changed. I say meet him and go with the flow.. just don't invest emotionally too fast.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 SG, he committed the crime at 16. He told himself the sentencing did not occur until he was 17. he could have been close to 18 before he started a sentence. Yes he does have a job, as sales manager for an automotive dealer...He has a very nice car which I saw pics of. He does live with a roommate, although he admitted that he has yet to stand all on his own. Not saying it makes him safe, but he has goals to advance his career. Yea underpants I just want to find out more right now and go from there. Talk to him once more to see if anything makes me uneasy (which nothing has yet, on the phone anyway, except maybe the guy is kind of lonely but a lot of people are lonely), and to see what more he would tell me. I'm going to ask more questions about his job (how long he's been there which I think is 3 yrs.) and just see if I can get him to open up more. I know one thing, he could have lied about it all. He could have said the punishment was something more minor, such as stealing. He could have left out jail all together and said he was a college graduate. So if he was willing to tell me one thing, he might tell more, and might not. The close family friend of mine...was like my big bro growing up. Went to all our summer vacations. He was like a son to my parents. Then he joined the army and started drinking too much, starting fights, doing drugs. He's spent a LOT of his 20's AND 30's doing prison time mostly because of crack. My mother has never stopped treating him like a son, and has helped him get back on his feet...until drugs got him again. She still visits him all the time. He's robbed 2 places, well into adulthood, but you know what he is not a bad person. He's made a lot of bad decisions. I wouldn't date him because I think of him like a brother and he gets on my nerves. But when he gets back into the world, I hope he can remain clean in the real world. It'll be like his 3rd chance at this. 3rd chance at life. If he makes bad decisions, he'll pay for it. Q was 16 when he made that bad decision. Family friend was 30 and again at 36. He had to do anger management, too..But I've never seen him angry. Anger management is attached to any crime considered violent. Family friend was strung out on crack, not angry. All I"m saying is the guy just seems happy to be alive, happy with what he's accomplished and wants to accomplish more. He's lasted 3 yrs that way, my family Friend never lasted 1 year. And again, I love him like a brother...but his history is way worse than Q, so far...
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Yes he does have a job, as sales manager for an automotive dealer... I find that virtually impossible to believe. He's a convicted felon, and would be un-bondable. He has to be bonded to have access to all those cars...
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 I just went back to read his profile. He talks about how he believes in Karma. He said "after some major drama" I moved back in with parents temporarily and is helping them out. He talks about going to the casino, but says "If you have a gambling problem, let me know so that I can adjust the plans!"...
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I just went back to read his profile. He talks about how he believes in Karma. He said "after some major drama" I moved back in with parents temporarily and is helping them out. LIE, LIE, LIE. You know exactly why he's living at home, and it ain't to help his parents out.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 I find that virtually impossible to believe. He's a convicted felon, and would be un-bondable. He has to be bonded to have access to all those cars... Well his own car looks nice. And he was up front about his work shifts, which are 9-11 hours long and he works every Saturday. That's why he claims to be too busy to meet people or whatever. that's all I know! he did say today he works 9-8pm. But he also said his work has a lot to do with internet sales.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 LIE, LIE, LIE. You know exactly why he's living at home, and it ain't to help his parents out. He didn't say that's WHY he lives there he just said it's helping his parents TO be living there because he might give them money, very possible if he really works that much.
Crestfallen_KH Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 When you meet someone you might be interested in, it's a good idea to start looking for reasons to disqualify them rather than qualify them. Good people qualify themselves. It's when you make assumptions in another person's favor that you get yourself into trouble.
sunshinegirl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Completely apart from his criminal history (!!!), you asked in your OP if he sounded "possessive". What is making you wonder about that? Oh, and is there a way for you to verify his employment and hours?
Jilly Bean Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Well his own car looks nice. And he was up front about his work shifts, which are 9-11 hours long and he works every Saturday. That's why he claims to be too busy to meet people or whatever. that's all I know! he did say today he works 9-8pm. But he also said his work has a lot to do with internet sales. LL - why do you believe everything a stranger tells you? I mean, how do you know he has a car at all? How do you know he even has a job? How do you know when he told you he did time, that it wasn't for something even more heinous? I just think you're being very foolish. And moreso, I don't understand why you are trying to convince yourself (and us) that he is so wonderful. I mean, are your options really that limited that an ex-con who lives with his parents is someone worth pursuing? If it is, then I solidly see a Springer episode in your near future. Sorry to say it, but it's pretty white trashy to consider dating someone like him.
mortensorchid Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 People make mistakes, and we all learn and grow and change from those mistakes. Him? Well, not so sure about that. I'd keep my distance if I were you. A guy like him will prey on women who are lonely, wanting attention, and sad. I've seen it happen one too many times to other women friends I have. And if he ever asks YOU for anything (ex. money), you drop him like a bad habit. You are not a bank, you are not his mother, you are not there to fix anyone's problem. And he is certainly a problem situation. Years ago, being young and neive, I got involved with someone who was questionable. He ended up getting thrown in the slammer for drugs. I cut him off immediately.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Cov I've been thinking about him all day, reasons why I like him so far. Again, it didn't cross my mind to do a background check until a Loveshacker suggested it. But it was not a bad idea considering I want a boyfriend that I feel safe with. I have yet to feel unsafe because it's only been phone chatting. You should just go for him. Women love bad guys. But make sure you play hard to get and withhold the sex because that solves everything. It makes bad boys good even.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 That or you're proving yourself to be that stereotypical girl who truly only likes "bad boys" and a-holes. That kind of caught my attention .
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 That kind of caught my attention . I'm the 1st to admit I like challenge. My bad.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 (edited) Honestly, I am often at a loss for words when I see the choices that some people make. I can only shake my head, and pray for your safety. Most guys feel this way quite a bit. Edited July 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I'm the 1st to admit I like challenge. My bad. What do you mean? This guy is no challenge he's doing all the work and putting on quite the sales presentation.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I just went back to read his profile. He talks about how he believes in Karma. He said "after some major drama" I moved back in with parents temporarily and is helping them out. He talks about going to the casino, but says "If you have a gambling problem, let me know so that I can adjust the plans!"... OK this guys is as phony as a 3 dollar bill. But I still say you should go for him .
Advocate's Devilette Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I notice that you tend to date men who are WAY below you. You are getting a college degree as a nurse, right? No need to date and be obsessed with the losers you post about...have you thought about becoming more involved with fellow students, even graduate students? You need to stay away from these losers and know what it's like to date someone who is worthy of you and in your league.
Author LoveLace Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 Completely apart from his criminal history (!!!), you asked in your OP if he sounded "possessive". What is making you wonder about that? Don't know to be honest, but he's called twice already tonight in between running errands. He also talked a little about his "Ex". He used to sing with a band (saw pictures of this as well...which were def. him because I also saw him live on web cam..) and she didn't like it that he had "fans" that were girls...so supposedly he quit the band for her, but it still didn't work out and he sounds a little bitter about that...he also said that she rushed him into being serious. Oh, and is there a way for you to verify his employment and hours? I don't know yet but I'm sure I could if I wanted... I wouldn't worry too much guys. I'm not even over Dan yet. And compared to this guy, Dan is beginning to sound desirable yet again! Probably won't happen, but point is, it's just talking on the phone right now. I haven't set a date in stone with him we've only talked about it.
TheFonz Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Probably won't happen, but point is, it's just talking on the phone right now. I haven't set a date in stone with him we've only talked about it. Girls, she's going to do what she wants to do and to heck with reason. Isn't that what girls do? If you want a bad guy, just go for it. And no one should stop you. I like young hot girls and no one should discourage me either.
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