jeffrey_e Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 After 3 months on a friends couch I moved back into the house. The soon to be ex has moved out. 27 years of marriage gone. Just like that. No fight. She realized she no longer feels that way towards me and gets an Attorney. I've had moments of crying every day. Why am I so scared? What can I do to help myself. I have a therapist and friends but I still feel this way. One friend said I was now going through acceptance. What do you think? Your comments are welcome. Thank You all. Jeffrey
Meaplus3 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 After 3 months on a friends couch I moved back into the house. The soon to be ex has moved out. 27 years of marriage gone. Just like that. No fight. She realized she no longer feels that way towards me and gets an Attorney. I've had moments of crying every day. Why am I so scared? What can I do to help myself. I have a therapist and friends but I still feel this way. One friend said I was now going through acceptance. What do you think? Your comments are welcome. Thank You all. Jeffrey Hi Jeffrey, I am very sorry for your sadness. I would tend to think that you are still working through the grieving process here. Thing's do take time and sometimes you just need to cry or vent.. in order to see them in a new light. 3 months is really not that long of a time..so give yourself as much time as it takes. I think you will know when you reach acceptance. Best wishes. AP:)
carhill Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 One friend said I was now going through acceptance. What do you think?I would call it grieving the 27 years of marriage and your devotion to her care during the difficult times, but I'm not a psychologist. I hope you can find some support. It's hard to go through anything like this alone. I know you have kids and friends, but it's nice to be able to vent and gather strength amongst strangers who are sharing the same experience. One avenue is what you're doing here on LS, but real world flesh and voices can be so much more comforting and supportive. I wish you and your children well
pigeonsid Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 I think the best thing you can do is have patience with yourself. The tears are going to come regularly, maybe for a long while to come. But that's good - it means that you are actually feeling things, that you are actually facing your emotions. You are grieving the end of your marriage, the end of a future that you imagined which will never come to pass now, and probably every other loss you've experienced in life. Big life changes are scary - it makes sense that you're scared, and that you're upset, and that you're emotional. Don't put pressure on yourself to heal quickly - it will happen when it happens. And moving back into the house is sure to trigger off all sorts of memories and emotions all over again. I felt as though I was right back at the beginning when I moved back into the place we'd both lived in. He'd moved out and there was a physical emptiness around me which reminded me of how our home was no longer a home. But I've since settled back into the place and it is becoming a home again - just my home now, not the home we shared together. Keep seeing friends, keep seeing a therapist, keep talking and trying to understand what has happened to you and eventually you will be able to move past it. Best of luck.
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