nab0610 Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 ok well i'll give you a short jist of our relationship to start we met as freshman at college became really good friends and about 4-5 months later we started dating we had a blast together and quickly fell in love we made it through 3 long months of summer without getting to see much of each other, but things were still going great when we came back to school in august...she got a job and was making money and we were still getting alot of time to spend together and enjoying every minute of it in december she decided to move out of the dorms and get an apartment with one of her friends, i tried to do the same with a few friends, but there parents wanted them to wait until the end of the semester. so a couple of months later in the middle of february we started having some problems fighting every now and then and not getting to see as much of one another a week ago she came to me and said she thought we should just be friends, she could barely hold herself together and even tried to kiss me a few times. she said the typical this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do and all that. so the next day she sends me a text asking me how i'm doing? i said ok u (very short non-important conversation) then 2 days later friday night she sends me another text asking me what i'm doing at like midnight and i replied saying hanging out with some friends playing beer pong, u? she says hanging out with some of her girls drinking...so i'm like thats cool she does the same thing saturday night and i reply in the same manner so monday comes around 5 days after we were seperated and i ask her if we can meet up, so shes like ok. we meet up and i say alot of things talking to her about how things changed and how we got away from each other (at the end of january we had thought about promise rings, she brought that up in january) i talked about what i'd did wrong and that i was sorry for letting her get away from me. I asked if we could have another chance and she said she was very sorry, but not right now however i'm not going to close the door on us...she also mentioned summer break again since i was going to be going home to work for the summer (i'm almost 100% sure she didn't break up with me because of summer break and over a 100% sure it wasn't because of another guy) i said ok and to clarify with both agreed to be friends at that point i asked her after this talk if she would like to go get some ice cream as just friends and she agreed...we talked about what we'd done in the past 5 days laughed and joked about some things when i dropped her back at her apartment she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek she also asked me later that night if i was doing ok and i replied telling her i was hanging out watching south park and helping my friend study for a test, u? she continued the conversation on for a few more texts i haven't talked to her now in about 36 hours...i'm trying not to text her or talk to her because i want her to realize what she's missing...i'm thinking something like saturday thats about 5 days she also at some point in there told me that she still loved me and that she still cared about me... i mean i don't really get whats going on here because i can't read her mind, but can someone please help me and try to explain this
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Looks pretty much to me like she's covering her bases. She doesn't much like the being alone and she's wanting to make sure she can keep you on a string until something better comes along. Hard as it is, I'd opt for not contacting her at all. Put the words 'no contact' into the search engine here and have a read on how to maintain it and move on. I don't think she's serious about a reconciliation either, if she was... she'd let you know and you wouldn't be playing mind-guessing-games.
Author nab0610 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) well i do have somewhat of an inside track into things as several of my friends are friends with her...she has no interest in them and i know that as there not her type of guy...i also no they have no interest in her she's told them when they've talked that she isn't interested in sleeping with any1 on the rebound now or whatever...she's only ever slept with one other guy and she's been having sex for 2.5 years 1 year with me and about a half year with another guy so theres about a year and half time where she wasn't...when i say i know this is true i do we trusted each other more than anything and told each other absolutely everything about our lives i mean i just find it hard to believe that its over and done with as i mean we'd had a couple of rough patches, but none of my friends saw this coming and they hung with us a ton too Edited April 2, 2008 by nab0610
Author nab0610 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 well one last thing...she texted me again today asking me how my court appearance went (i had a drinking ticket) i told her good i'd gotten it dismissed and we texted a little bit and i told her i thought it was best if we didn't talk for a while...after a sec she said ok call me when you think we can be friends
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 I still don't think it changes anything from what I said earlier. She doesn't want you but she's afraid of being alone. You can bet your ass the minute another guy shows on the scene, she's not going to think about you for a moment. Whether you believe it or not, this person you loved and cared for hurt you, she hurt you by severing your bond and walking away. Why oh why would you even want to keep her in your life if she can hurt you so badly...?! IMHO you need to maintain the no contact and keep breathing and walking forward.
Starsky Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 Listen to Chinook. If she loves you so much, then why would she break up with you in the first place? If I love someone, I would never let that person go. I was in the same situation as you just a year ago. My ex told me she still loved me when she broke up with me and I believed her. I stuck around and waited and in the end, I got screwed over. Trust us on this. Just walk away and move on.
Chinook Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 You need to read this thread buddy. It has helped a LOT of people here at LS. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/
Author nab0610 Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 i read that and it is a very nice thing and i really appreciate your guys advice and the advice i've received from others...i'm feeling better now after talking to some people and i've been going out and hanging out with my friends i already plan on meeting up with a few female friends from last year this weekend and going out partying with them and just having a good time i established the no contact thing with her, but just now she sent me another message saying she was sorry and all that, but i just ignored it as i will continue to do thanks everyone any other advice is appreciated as well
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