Author mark1210 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Posted April 2, 2008 Interestingly enough, I got a phone call from her, we talked a bit and then she mentioned the topic of sex. I cut her off and said I know how you feel about that topic already, lets talk about something else. She said, "well actually this morning I think I may have been a bit rough with you on that subject. You seem intelligent enough that I don't need to remind you, sorry for insulting your intelligence". Seeing this as the PERFECT opportunity I said that I understand and appreciate that. I know you've been burned but you shouldn't penalize everyone. I told her that I like her and would like to see where this goes. I told her I do see this possibly leading to sexual contact eventually. She got quiet, and I said if that's an issue for you now is the time to tell. Her response was "it's too soon to discuss that". I told her that was a cop out answer, if its not too soon to tell me no sex that I don't find it unrealistic to tell me if you do see that in the future. She said, you're attractive, you ahve your stuff together, in the future anything is possible. So in a nutshell....i didn't get crap...still back at square one.
johan Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 If she wanted to have sex with you, then I guarantee you'd be having it. The fact that you're not having it (not now and not soon) indicates one thing: she doesn't want to. Whatever explanation she offers is just a pacifier, because what she's not saying is that she just doesn't want to. The question I think you have to ask yourself is this: do you want to be with her so much that you can live a celibate life with her? Because that's all she's offering for the foreseeable future. The fact is, she knows what you want and she knows it's normal, and all you're doing is compromising yourself willingly. And she sees that you're doing this. Her respect for you is eroding each time you quietly make this compromise for nothing in return. Even if she did agree to have sex, it probably wouldn't be that great. She has hangups that are going to be on her mind the whole time you're going at it.
carhill Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 OY! Not eventually. This weekend! Throw down the gauntlet!
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Explain this validation of sexuality? Is that why she got bent out of shape because I wouldn't validate it by going into my own bed and cuddling with her? She wants you to WANT her. Crave her. Lust for her. But to respect her enough to wait until SHE puts the moves on YOU. She kinda tried to put the moves on you with her skimpy outfit and spoon request, and was peeved you didn't take the bait in reading her mind.
Chinook Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Mark, sorry but I don't think you're going to get an answer any time soon. That was your opportunity right there. You were TALKING about sex, not doing it. FFS. Personally, I agree with Johan, it's at this point now that you have to realise you're compromising. Unfortunately if you walk away now, of course, to her... you'll prove yourself to only be interested in sex... but quite frankly, I wouldn't be happy to be with someone who is going to throw up this kind of barrier and test you into compromising. She's molding you to get you to do what she wants. I can guarantee you, there will be a next barrier and a next one, yada yada blablabla.
johan Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 She wants you to WANT her. Crave her. Lust for her. But to respect her enough to wait until SHE puts the moves on YOU. She kinda tried to put the moves on you with her skimpy outfit and spoon request, and was peeved you didn't take the bait in reading her mind. Part of what you're saying is probably true. But why don't you behave this way, Star? Why weren't your exes posting on forums trying to figure out why you were putting them off all the time?
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