Author peace_pipe Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 So, what is stopping you from ending the drama by ending the relationship? Not trying to be snarky, just curious. Ahh, I did try to end it. I told her it was over, but she still calls for whatever reason. It's just a matter of time until she breaks down and comes back around, I just know it. And of course there is the fault of being human, not wanting to be alone. I don't know if I loved this girl but I know I cared deeply about her we did have some good times. Sometimes even when it's all right in your face, it's still hard to part ways.
Author peace_pipe Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 There is always going to be someone taller, smarter, richer, better looking, etc. You want a gf who is happy with and committed to you, not one who seeks the attention of other men, no matter what the reason. Well, I'm taller, richer and smarter, but the better looking thing is a subjective one But seriously, I know what you mean. What I am saying is how her taste in men urks me. It really shows her "true" colors. I've told her she needs to date a player and this guy fits the bill perfectly. Irony.....
StartingOver07 Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Well, I'm taller, richer and smarter, but the better looking thing is a subjective one This is good! Now why are you staying with a woman who is not worthy of you???? But seriously, I know what you mean. What I am saying is how her taste in men urks me. It really shows her "true" colors. Heck, I don't even know her and it seems she has shown them about 100 times already. I've told her she needs to date a player and this guy fits the bill perfectly. Irony..... And how about you, Peace? Who do you need to date? That's what you should be focusing on.
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 You need to stand your ground and not give in to her when she comes running back.
Author peace_pipe Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 You need to stand your ground and not give in to her when she comes running back. I just hope she doesn't call when I am drunk or else I might "Take her back and make her dessert." Wait, why don't you just be my girlfriend? That would solve my whole problem You do seem like a cool woman... why do I not meet women like you in real life? grrrr
dreamergrl Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 Because there's only one dreamergirl You need to keep in your mind WHY you don't want her. Make the list and hang it over you phone. Get a ring tone that says "Mind Games Calling" I had a problem once with letting an ex come running back because I'd get those drunk phone calls "I'm sorry I'm so lonely now" ... I really did get a ring tone just for that person so I wouldn't accidently answer my cell and it be him.
Author peace_pipe Posted April 3, 2008 Author Posted April 3, 2008 This is good! Now why are you staying with a woman who is not worthy of you???? Obviously because I am such a sucker. The reality of it is, there was a connection there, so I did like the girl. I thought we wer eon the same page romantically. After all, she iniated sex with me when we first met and she was the first one to call me her "boyfriend". Then she does a complete 360... I've even tried talking to her firend to figure out WTF is going on. Her friend said she asked her before is she was unhappy with me and her response was "No, no, that's not it." Talking to you guys is making things a bit better, thanks! I am still in that awkward transition stage where I can't seem to muster the focus to enjoy any of my old hobbies... not yet. I've went out 3 nights in a row to drink. Not getting falling down drunk, but drinking none the less. It's a crutch for me but I know myself well enought to know that this is what I'll do for about a week until I get sick of drinking everyday. Then I usually go back to "normal". The transition stage sucks!
I am who I am Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 (edited) This relationship is over. You just don't know it yet. She has lost interest in you, and more than likely is interested in someone else. Dreamergrl has told you what to do, and yet you still won't let go. I would end this NOW. Be the bigger person... do not start listing the reasons, or start crying and moaning. Simply tell her that its over, and that you wish her the best of luck in both love and in life. Do Not contact her again... Do not respond to her contacting you. The next step... Start working on YOU! Build confidence, work out, get into your hobbies. And Stop drinking! Edited April 3, 2008 by I am who I am
Frieda Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 b-word is cheating on you. she's picking fights and going off to her 'sisters' and her 'brothers' for 'drinks' ......what are you dating, an alcoholic? she is cheating on you. she wants to break it off but then she changes her mind and says 'not yet' and wants to keep you around a little longer. did you do something bad to her? ah well, her dissapearing on you is a deal-breaker. trust is part of a relationship, in fact, it's the biggest part. dissapearing altogether is breaking your trust...... seems like she don't care bout you.
trigger Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Leave her. She doesn't want to be with you. But do not take that as a personal affront....clearly she doesn't deserve you and is too immature to be honest and upfront with you. You read my pathetic story about the liar. He did the same silent treatment/avoidance tactics this girl is doing to you. She'd hiding something....either that she doesn't want to be with you, or is interested in someone else. Respect and communication are absolutely VITAL to a good relationship....here you have neither. Takes more than just a "connection" to make it work, more than the "love" feeling, unfortunately, as I have been learning myself. Kick her to the curb. She sounds like an idiot. Where, WHERE are all the honest and upfront people hiding?
Frieda Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 most are already taken. if they weren't honest and upfront, their relationships would fail and you'd meet them and ask that question again lol ;p if you meet one, dont let go.
SpikeyChick Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 She just doesn't get why I should be upset after her flaking out 2 days in a row. That's the problem. Now she just sent me an email saying "She obviously never cared for me." as an excuse for her behavior. It just so happens I've heard this one before. Days later she came back and said she didn't mean it. What am I dealing with here? A discussion about a 5 minute phone call turned into this? OK , I will tell you the truth about what she is really up to. She is trying to get you so annoyed and frustrated with her behavior that you will walk away. She wants out of this relationship VERY soon. Like most of us women ,she is a chicken, and instead of telling you the truth, she is trying to get you to dump her. She is about to "vine swing" because she is not attracted to you like she used to be, AND she has her eye on someone else. You sound like a great guy who deserves better than her mind games.
Author peace_pipe Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 OK , I will tell you the truth about what she is really up to. She is trying to get you so annoyed and frustrated with her behavior that you will walk away. She wants out of this relationship VERY soon. Like most of us women ,she is a chicken, and instead of telling you the truth, she is trying to get you to dump her. She is about to "vine swing" because she is not attracted to you like she used to be, AND she has her eye on someone else. You sound like a great guy who deserves better than her mind games. Thanks for all of the responses. This isn't the first time she suddenly changed her mind. She isn't cheating with another guy, this guy is seeing someone else. As I understand it, she is still hung up on her ex. This is the guy that spent 2 years in jail for seeling drungs and got deported. I've talked to a few of our mutual friends and they all say the same things. Things like her personality shifts when she's drinking, how she "romanticizes" her ex in unrealistic ways and how she don't know what she's missing because of it. Even her sister that I don't get along with is upset with her for treating me bad. I've tried and tried to understand and be there for this girl. It is helpful to hear some of these same things from mutual friends. Our one friend said "She's got what I want, and she don't know what to do with it." Like I said, not to dwell, but it helps. We haven't talked (argued) in 2 days. I sent her a text yesterday just saying I was sorry for saying some things I didn't mean, hoping she is okay and able to find happiness. I just don't like being mean and I felt bad, but I left it at that. It wasn't an attempt to get back with her. I am leaving town today for 3 days (she'll be getting back from her trip tonight). I need to get away and gain some perspective. Maybe, just maybe it'll make her think that I am moving on and motivate her to think about what she's giving away. If she calls, I will probably answer. It's just how I work. I'll have to hear what she has to say. If it's about reconciliation - I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. I will not go back into this with open arms. I'll let her know the we have to regain trust and it will be work. If that's not acceptable, then I won't be budging. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I am who I am Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 She isn't cheating with another guy, this guy is seeing someone else.HAHA... Suuuurrrreeee. Keep believing that, if it makes you feel better. Our one friend said "She's got what I want, and she don't know what to do with it."Why not ask this girl out. Even her sister that I don't get along with is upset with her for treating me bad. I sent her a text yesterday just saying I was sorry for saying some things I didn't mean, hoping she is okay and able to find happiness. ........ It wasn't an attempt to get back with her.She treats you poorly, and you are the one apologizing? I am leaving town today for 3 days (she'll be getting back from her trip tonight). I need to get away and gain some perspective. Maybe, just maybe it'll make her think that I am moving on and motivate her to think about what she's giving away.No... it won't. She will probably not even thinking of you, as she will be with another man. If she calls, I will probably answer. It's just how I work. I'll have to hear what she has to say.I've never met someone that was so determined to get kicked in the balls.... again, and again, and again. If that's not acceptable, then I won't be budging.Yes you will. You have no personal boundaries, low confidence and self-esteem. As I stated before. Its Time For You To Start Working on YOU!
SpikeyChick Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 I will not go back into this with open arms. I'll let her know the we have to regain trust and it will be work. If that's not acceptable, then I won't be budging. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! These situations are not about regaining trust, Peace, because some of us women do not ever deserve to be trusted and she is one of them. A relationship is over when one side loses desire, not trust . And she has lost desire for you because you are wiiling to tolerate her atrocious behavior. Down here, we would call you "pvssy whipped". When a woman loses respect for a man because his is too "understanding", she loses desire about one nanosecend later( but some of us will stay around until we find another vine to swing on). She has played with you numerous times and you just back up for more(after making some huffin and puffin, which bothers her none) But I figure you will stay a while and try to reconcile by searching for any tricks and games that you can use to get her back. He behavior says, " I am out of this". Listen to that message.
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