inshock Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 WE have just posponed his divorce action and are working on a POST nuptial agreement so we can stay married. He still lives with her and seems happy. IM still missing him and IM miserable. Ive put on NO PERSONAL CONTACT,a long as hes still living with her. Hes not even allowed to come to our home. Just started it so I dont know. Anyone here familiar with Post nuptials? Are they legal?My lawyer said they are legal but judges dont have to "honor" them..... I have no idea why he wants to stay married,except its proably better for us both financially.Guess his young g/f has been waiting 7 years and doesnt mind a few more.Or hes lied to her.Who knows? Am I crazy to do this?Should I just insist on divorce and make him pay the big price that most cheaters have to pay?Yes it helps me also but can I even handle this emotionally?He talks about how hes not ready and gives off false hope about coming home,but hes still in her bed every night. We are back in court on Apr 29 so I have to make a decision soon....
Prosecco Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) I've now read your thread on the other board... and suspect they can help more than me. UK divorce law, while similar, has very important differences from US, and yours also varies by state. But - The only way this sounds like it 'helps' is by drawing out the status quo. Divorcing now would mean you have to address your financial situation - but you'll have to do that at some point anyway. Yes - it's extra stress now - but a good lawyer can help you handle debts as well as draw up the most fair agreement. While lawyers are expensive, they aren't all evil money grabbing people - paying for a good one (skills and morally ) is worth it. Remember - divorce shouldn't be about punishing the other person - it should be about separating your life from theirs in a way that enables you to live freely. Sometimes this means one party has to keep paying the other, but in other cases a clean break is possible. BTW - I've never heard of post-nuptials. It must be an American thing, but I'd be dubious about the legality. From the way you describe it, it sounds like it has the same strength as a pre-nup does over here: i.e. it can be used as evidence of the intentions of the parties at the time of making it, but the judge has no legal obligations to stick to its terms. I.e. it's more a piece of evidence than a legally binding contract. But - definitely don't go into this till you've consulted a lawyer of your own, and understand all the implications. Personally, I can't see a single benefit in a post-nup agreement. Surely you can just make the same agreement in a divorce? Edited April 2, 2008 by Prosecco
sandflea Posted April 3, 2008 Posted April 3, 2008 If you are at a financial advantage to divorce him, then I'd suggest that you do so. He's off with another woman. Regardless of whether or not he ever decides he wants to come back, you need to protect yourself and your self interests now. I know it's hard - but will the heartache really get better of you pay him to leave you? I didn't think so. Dump the chump, and cash the check. You deserve better. SF WE have just posponed his divorce action and are working on a POST nuptial agreement so we can stay married. He still lives with her and seems happy. IM still missing him and IM miserable. Ive put on NO PERSONAL CONTACT,a long as hes still living with her. Hes not even allowed to come to our home. Just started it so I dont know. Anyone here familiar with Post nuptials? Are they legal?My lawyer said they are legal but judges dont have to "honor" them..... I have no idea why he wants to stay married,except its proably better for us both financially.Guess his young g/f has been waiting 7 years and doesnt mind a few more.Or hes lied to her.Who knows? Am I crazy to do this?Should I just insist on divorce and make him pay the big price that most cheaters have to pay?Yes it helps me also but can I even handle this emotionally?He talks about how hes not ready and gives off false hope about coming home,but hes still in her bed every night. We are back in court on Apr 29 so I have to make a decision soon....
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