mint_tea Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 HELP!!!!! (this is long, i apologize. if you read even half of it i'll be grateful!) My boyfriend and I are on a break until after finals (it would be about 5 weeks). He needed some "time apart", I think because I've been to clingy and dependent on him. He is bogged with school work and hasn't gotten to see his friends much at all. The break has been difficult because we live in the same dorm, one floor apart. We see each other frequently in passing. Still, I try to live my OWN life/ignore him because it's easier to cope. I put on an act that "I don't care, I'm happy without you". But I miss him terribly and it's only been a week! What makes it harder is when he sees me he smiles real big and says "hey, what are you up to?". What's also making things hard is that I'm pledging the same honors frat he is in. We're seeing Barack Obama at our school with friends tomorrow, I have to interview him the next day, and we're in the same group for a day trip to New York this weekend. Kind of hard for him to "miss" me when we see each other that much! Some weird things have happened in the last few days...he texted me to invite me to see Chelsey Clinton speak at our school just a day after we went on break. 2 days later, we had an argument at a party (I was drunk, crying, saying I missed him) where he said he hasn't seen his friends at all and needed these weeks to sort things out (he's transferring to a different school in the fall, so he wants to see his friends as much as possible). He stormed out of the party (slammed a door in my face) and said to the people who were hounding him to talk to me and work things out, "Don't talk to me about relationships anymore. And make sure she's ok". I IM'ed him a few days later just to see how he was doing. He asked if the rest of the night went alright, and I lied and said "I don't remember...but speaking of which, can we forget that happened? The person you saw wasn't me at all. I was really drunk by the time you arrived." He said "ok" very quickly. I told him I was going home to hang out with our mutual friend, who is a guy, and a few minutes later, out of the blue he asked who was picking me up. I said my dad is, because the friend is still at work, why do you ask? He said, "Just curious." 2 days later, a bunch of us in the frat were camping out for Obama tix and I saw him and my friends in the back of the line. I walked past him but he tried to get my attention and made small talk with me. I cut it short though, as to seem unavailable. He and I got tickets before our other friends, and after he got his he came right over to me and again made small talk. We all got lunch together and he was still acting strange...offering to carry things for me, sitting next to me at the table. I made a point to talk to everyone but him so he could see that I didn't need him to have a good time (in the past, I did). I caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye multiple times. He left for a few minutes to type an email - he asked if I was sticking around - and our friends were commenting that things seemed to be going really well between us and it was like nothing was wrong. I was like "yeah I know, it's weird." I'm wondering if it is an act for the frat, because we agreed that we would be civil to each other during this time. When he said he was heading back to our dorm, I said I was going back too. He took note of this and walked with me the whole way back, still making small talk. Today, he saw me at the library and as soon as our eyes met he smiled, mouthed, "hey", and kept smiling at me as he walked away. I don't know what to make of all this!!!! Does he want me back and is too prideful to admit he made a mistake (he's done it in the past)? Is he hoping that I'll make a move? Or is he just being civil for the frat? I really don't want this break to go on 5 more weeks, I don't think I can take it much longer. A) the uncertainty is killing me, and B) I MISS HIM. I miss kissing him, being in his arms, watching TV together...everything. Is it OK to ask that we shorten the break to maybe 3 weeks? (I was the one who originally set the time.) I have been told I should for my own sake, but I've also been told that we'll probably end up getting back together before the break is over. On the other hand, a week ago (at the party we had the argument) he said he needed these next weeks to see his friends and stuff. ANY advice is HUGELY appreciated!!!!
The Studmuffin Posted April 2, 2008 Posted April 2, 2008 i don't have a whole lot of experience of breaks and stuff... but it sounds to me like it's not really much of a break. it's probably meant to be a time for you to think things over and not meet during. but you're meeting everyday, which probably just makes things worse. and according to your descriptions of things, he's acting more than "civil". you're right about calling it "mixed signals"...
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